Qeya River dance the ghost with me

i really just needed my goddamn friend, wren.
something inside of wren broke. she swallows the hard lump in her throat, pushing down the half of her that yearned to run to him. that was a different life, a different her; one that she now began to doubt had ever truly existed.
i wanted to protect you from me, she chokes on her own breath, trembling as she settles down into a sit; exposing the pink swell of her belly, her breasts. her children would not know him. i-- i wasn't okay. i was hurting, and you didn't deserve to put up with that on top of everything else.
but, selfishly, she hadn't been willing to spare silvertongue.
i found silver in the desert. i nursed her back to health, and then i-- we got married, she does not mention riverclan, nor the fact that it has become qeya river. i would've told you before we left the valley, but-- goddammit, it all sounds like excuses to you anyway and i know it. maybe they are.
she sniffles. the silence between them thickens. i needed my friend too.