Redhawk Caldera There'll be days you need me by your side

tags are purely for reference!

Also wow, sorry at the double tag... I didn't even realize!

The worst part about this was how it interfered with her checking in on her friend right at the time when Maia knew that @Teya needed her most. @Hymnal and @Eljay were a constant, but she felt extremely guilt-ridden anytime she saw how tired and anxious her mate looked. She tried to assure them nothing was wrong, that she didn't need anything, that it was fine. But the puppies in her were growing and, as they hit their stride and began to form into what they would become, she could no longer really leave the den. Her legs just wouldn't support her for long.

She knew that Reyes was gone and that @Teya had had the children. She didn't know anything else, but she gritted her teeth and pushed herself up with a low grunt. Shakily, she made her way towards the entrance.

It was no use. She was about four paces outside before she stumbled and nearly fell. Useless. Useless! C'mon Maia, I don't know what's wrong with you, but we can't... c'mon. She couldn't make her legs move, though, and as she went to sit down they buckled and brought her entirely to reclining on the grass.

Maia's eyes welled up but she shook it off. Crying wasn't going to help anyone right now, least of all Teya. She just had to trust that Eljay could take care of it and do the best she could here to make sure things went smoothly. Still. I hope she realized it was okay. I hope she's happy. Maia couldn't imagine looking at her puppies and not feeling that way.

She rested her head on her paws and stared, distracted, into the trees. Only a couple more weeks. She was counting the days. Then she could go see Teya and dote on the new life she'd created, and also return the favor she'd so graciously given them last year anytime she'd been overwhelmed or needed help.

She was very worried about mama. She never left the den anymore, and anytime Hymnal saw her stand she could tell it was with great effort. She worked very hard to make sure her mother had meals and company. She hated the idea of her being alone in the den, unable to go anywhere; anytime she pictured it, she was filled with a sadness so potent, she thought her chest might collapse into itself and crush her heart. 

So, today she took a break from helping papa with aunt Teya and brought her some fish she had caught from the stream. Teya had been a good teacher. 

Maia was outside when she arrived, and Hymnal trotted quickly over to her, dropping the fish to the ground. Mama, are you okay? she asked, worry painting her tone and her expression. She hoped she hadn't hurt herself. It hurt the young blackthorn's heart to imagine her being here without anyone to help her.

Hymnal's approach was quiet enough that Maia didn't recognize it until she'd gotten close. When she turned and saw the concern there, though, her feelings mirrored her daughter's completely. It wasn't hard to imagine that they were cut from the same fabric. Imagine, worrying just to see me outside. She couldn't stand making her feel that way, even if there was nothing she could do about it.

I'm fine, sweetheart. I just needed some air. Lying made her feel a little guilty, but it was better than seeing the look get worse. And it was a harmless one. Still, Maia didn't want to linger on it.

I heard that Teya had her babies. Did you get to go with Eljay to see them? Maia knew that she sometimes followed her papa and learned from him, but she wasn't sure if Teya would have felt comfortable with that. She'd love to hear more if so... she hadn't gotten the chance to ask Eljay for details, he'd seemed so tired the previous night.

She had no reason to believe her mom would lie to her about how she was feeling, so she took her at her word. Her expression relaxed and she moved closer to snuggle into Maia. Of course, it looked differently now that she was mostly the size of an adult; it felt just as comforting, though. 

Hymnal nodded at her mom's question. Yeah. She had one little girl, she answered. She is so pretty. She smiled. Do you think Teya would let me be her daughter's big sister too? she asked. She doesn't have any siblings. Hymnal thought everyone should have at least one brother or sister. She loved Sylvie and her younger siblings that hadn't been born yet.

It would never make any difference to Maia how big her children got. She made room as best she could for Hymnal to snuggle close and hugged her tight for a moment. Then she thought about her question.

Her first instinct was to respond with 'of course'. But Teya had always been hard for Maia to read and their last conversation had only made things that much worse. She didn't want her daughter to unknowingly upset her and to be hurt herself in the process.

I can't see why she wouldn't. But even if she isn't your sister officially, there isn't any reason you couldn't treat her like one. I bet she would love to have a big sister looking out for her as she gets older. Teya didn't have to acknowledge it for Hymnal to try. And Maia guessed, somewhat presumptively, that the little girl could use all the love she could get. Just in case Teya hadn't taken her words to heart.

I hope so, she said. Everyone needs a sister, she said a little playfully, though she did believe that. She already had her own sister and now she was lucky to have even more, and brothers to go along with them. She would ask Teya about it when the time felt right.

Her expression turned more serious. Words bubbled in her heart, words that had been there for a long time and feelings she didn't know what to do with. Maybe mama would have something soothing to say. Mama.. she paused and took a deep breath. I've been thinking lately that maybe I could take a trip to the coast...on my own. She searched Maia's face for signs of disapproval. It's not that I don't love my family and our home, but I don't know, I want to explore the world a little more. It would only be for a little bit if I did go; I could never be gone from home for too long. She was rambling so she paused and looked at her mom as she waited for her response.

Maia nodded in full agreement. Of course the sentiment made her just as sad as expected, but it didn't make her shut down like it might have a year ago. She still had a few sisters out there, somewhere, and even if she never saw them again she appreciated that she might someday. Even the possibility was worth it despite everything her family had lost. She wondered what Cass was like nowadays and if she'd found herself a family too. Maia hoped so.

Hymnal's next words were pretty effective at sidelining that train of thought completely, though! Maia wasn't entirely surprised and, while the thought of Hymnal leaving even for a little while made her sad, she knew she would never try to keep her here. Hymnal was right around the age Maia had been when she left home and she deserved the chance to see other places and make new friends. She was happy, though, that her daughter was so adamant about not staying away for long. She was going to miss her so much!!

Don't worry, sweetheart. I would never think it was because of that. She leaned over and gave her a kiss on her temple. When I left home, I was so worried that my dad and mom would be upset. I was your age, too. They knew, though, and so do I, that it's important sometimes to know some of the world. If you want to go see it then I think that's amazing. I'm absolutely going to need you to come back soon, though, and at least tell me all about what you find. Her voice was light but her eyes were full of slightly deeper feeling.

Was it this hard for Dante and Osprey, when she had this conversation? It must have been. She had never made it back to share, with her parents, how her life changed. Maia would never not regret that and she would do everything in her power to make sure her own children didn't have to worry about feeling that way. She and Eljay would always be here for them, no matter what.