Northstar Vale Tonight I feel like a shooting star, but I hope my shine will last much longer

set for the night of May 5th - gotta see the meteor shower!

The night fell silently over the vale, the sun falling behind the ridge of the mountains. The moon claiming it’s spot in the darkened sky. The pale goddess watching over the forests with her faint glow.

Yuudai tilted his head, casting his own gaze on the nighttime deity. The stars finally coming out to twinkle. He smiled at the clear sky and the beautiful sight. Had his heart been more stable he would have sought out his mate. But their was still a deep set guilt harboured in his chest. The ache for someone other than Hiromi stilled his paws. Instead he took a seat on the edge of the lake, content to stare at the unending night sky.

Tonight she was up for something else other than pure sleeplessness. With Collision parked not too far from her den to watch over her, sleep had come much easier and so did eating - thus her strength was returning and the Empress was able to enjoy her pregnancy for once without stressing over every little thing. Though there were still certain stressers she could not fix right away, it was easier to deal with those now that the others were under control.

No, tonight she was up to watch as the meteor shower hit its peak. The falling stars streaking over the night sky was a brilliant sight to behold and she could not help but leave the safety of her den to view them. During her wandering, a pale figure drew her attention quickly, and for a moment she was glad, plush tail swaying but as quickly as it began, it faded. Yuudai and she had been avoiding one another since that day, he had his own reasons as she did… and though she wished to speak with him, her heart felt like it was in some kind of vice-grip.

Saddened, her gaze returned to sky, trying not to let herself fall into that pit of despair - and the fear of Yuudai’s scent on her once again would certainly bring Takeshi’s wrath once more.

His gaze dropped from the sky, as beautiful as the shooting stars were, he felt a tingle along the back of his neck. As though he wasn’t alone. Relying on his instincts, Yuudai turned to look over his shoulder. Half expecting to see his new mate, she had a way of finding him in these moments. But it wasn’t her, instead it was his deepest desire. The untouchable. He wasn’t sure how long she had been standing there, or why she hadn’t called out to him as she often used to do. The pain wiggled it way to the forefront. Because she doesn’t want to see you.

Her name hovered in the edge of his lips, turning to ash on his tongue. Clenching his jaw, her stood slowly. Approaching her just was slowly. He dipped his head deeply, submitting wholly to the Empress. “Empress.” Regardless of their personal feelings he was still her subject. Although with her hesitation came a flooding sense of doubt, did she still want him to be her subject? Perhaps this was moment in which she would take it all away, the words, the feelings, the trust. Immediately he panicked. What about Hiromi? What about his children?

His eyes flicked to the royal woman’s stomach. The samurai noticed the subtle bump, so similar to Hiromi’s. “Congratulations.” Although they had shared a passionate moment together, Yuudai easily picked Takeshi’s scent wafting off her pelt. Surely the children would be his. If only to save her own reputation.

Every fiber of her being was torn. She wanted to go to him, embrace him, to tell him everything that happened and that she still loved him beyond reason - but there was that fear, that fear of ruining whatever he had with Hiromi, the fear of Takeshi and whatever he might do in retaliation to him, or Reiko herself. It wasn't safe, it was selfish of her to still want him, to still want Yuudai after all this. 

But even then her heart lept into her throat, a warmth radiating from her as he approached, and even lingering sadness as the obvious shift between them came out with his actions and words. For a moment her eyes darted around, looking for him, half expecting Takeshi to come roaring out from over the dark horizon with accusations and poisonous words.

Yuudai's congratulations didn't sit well with her, the single word knotted her belly up uncomfortably as ears flattened atop her crown. She could smell Hiromi off of him too, him off of her when they crossed paths too. To know that both were out of her reach so quickly after finding one another was desolating. You too. She managed to mutter. Hiromi's gotten big too, I wouldn't be surprised if we are due the same day. She trailed off, hinting that she suspected of the timespan between both interactions. Surely a day or so could be possible too - but why his absence when she needed him most?

The samurai was suddenly swallowed by an anger he had never experienced, a jealous green monster absorbed the gentle samurai. “Takeshi must be happy. He finally has his betrothed by his side.” The words came forth before he could properly think them through, something very unlike him. But he could not help it. After being with him, after saying the things that she had said, Reiko betrayed him. Waltzing into the waiting arms of someone he thought she hated.

He took a moment, his head rising from it lowered position. Yuudai fixed her with his lavender gaze. “Perhaps we were wrong.” His voice was barely more than a whisper, but they could be easily heard from their distance. “Or perhaps we were both fooled.” He believed in what he told her, love is never wrong…so where did that leave them.

Yes. She whispered in response to him assuming Takeshi would be happy now, he is. She didn't raise her voice and if Yuudai heard it, then he heard it. Even as much as Reiko tried to make the best of it, Takeshi always managed to destroy it somehow. He made her uncomfortable, scared - what would happen if they all didn't have blue eyes? What would happen to them, to her? Would he simply make her life, their life, miserable every day as punishment for following what she wanted?

A thought that didn't help as Yuudai continued, his words slicing through her and leaving the woman emotionally drained. If that's how you feel. Despite her shrinking composure, she felt herself growing guarded. Prickly as a rush of emotions overcame. Not knowing how to react or a good outlet, it instead morphed her physically into a defensive woman. She had given him her heart, her body, her virginity - and this is what it all came to. 

The only fool here is you. Finally, her own words we muttered, did she hate him? Frankly, no, but she was upset. Her thoughts and even body didn't seem to belong to her, not only for the puppies she carried but him, he took anything he wanted any day. To watch the two she loved most live happily ripped her apart, but could she truly fault them for that?

Her words stung, how could they not? His gaze grew a little sharper, and his breath quickened. The only way he could process her words and correlate them to her actions just a few weeks ago was to assume that she had lied. Had she ever truly loved him? Or had she simply used him, and then discarded him when someone better came along? He took a step back as the thought came, shocked by his own imagination. His gaze dropped to his paws.

He was so confused. If she had truly wished to be with Takeshi all along, then why bother with him at all. He didn’t miss the inflection on her tone… he is. “Apparently women have a way of making me foolish.” He agreed softly. “What do you want from me Reiko? Because I’m thoroughly confused. I thought…” He let the sentence fall off, as he shook his head and raised his gaze once more. Seeking her icy blue eyes. “Why?” Yuu pleaded, his emotions finally to much for him to hide behind a façade. His voice cracking, hurt evident in his features. “Why would you say such things if you didn’t mean them?” Because this was not how you showed someone you cared, that they were loved.

She was no fool! At least that's how she felt of their situation. She was not fooled by her emotions or sudden urge to find him when the moment struck, even with a clearer head she did not regret it... not completely. The lingering pain of everything else that came with it is what stung, what she wished didn't happen. 

You're confused?! She hissed. Feeling her muscles and skin tense up as she puffed out like an angry, startled house cat. “Why would you say such things if you didn’t mean them?” The words kept twisting like a knife, digging and clawing into her psyche, driving her mad! With the stress of Takeshi, the hormones playing with her body chemistry, the pain of love loss, the flood gates were open and the shrill in her soft voice cracked through as tears stung her eyes.

You promised, vowed, to protect me! She tried to keep her voice low so it didn't echo, but that didn't lessen its own edge. And instead, you were where, with Hiromi? Of course, I meant what I said, but— She had to take a moment to breathe, to collect herself before exploding into a million pieces across the vale, shattering and scattering to the wind - would such a fate be so bad? It would get her away from all this right now. 

You weren't there. Smoothing out, once again she felt small as she nearly whispered the remaining words. Remembering it all, every day since then too.

You weren’t there. He froze. Utterly confused, but suddenly extremely apprehensive. The dread that gripped his stomach almost made him puke. The very thing he had feared when he found Hiromi in the woods. What had happened while he had been with Hiromi? His own emotional pain was forced aside as he tried to distinguish her words, understand.

“I wasn’t there for what Reiko?” It wasn’t often that he called her by her first name, but he found it happening more and more. His heart no longer content to remain her silent bodyguard. She was more than his charge, more than his friend. He chose to ignore the jealousy he perceived in her mentioning of Hiromi, that was a topic for later. (Or not at all if he could help it). But she was insinuating he had failed in his duty, which continued to confuse him. “What happened?” There was a fury in his voice, and in his stance as he took a menacing step forward. His brow was deeply furrowed. Of course Yuu wasn’t upset with her, if in fact he had failed his duty.

Even now she had a hard time saying those words, admitting to herself what had happened. Even after his questions, the words were stuck in her throat, a large lump of hard substance that choked them from ever becoming reality. Even as the stars twinkled and fell from the heavens above them, an event that was worthwhile to watch - the two were focused on one another. The tension was not only palpable but crushing. 

As much as she wanted to remain standing, the sheer pressure of it all had her legs giving out. Without the usual elegance, she fall onto her haunches and barely could hold her head up as it normally would. Ibis' words, Takeshi's and his actions, Yuudai's most recent venom, it was all too much. Do you really think that little of me that I would go behind your back and sleep with him? Her gaze shifted to anywhere else, anywhere than to focus on Yuudai's face. 

I really thought we'd be a family. A long pause lingered, nervously licking her lips before continuing her thought. It seems, I am the fool after all.

“Rei!” Yuu called softly as she collapsed in on herself, he was quickly by her side. Hoping she wouldn’t reject his presence. The shame was quick to follow his previous concern. His lips pursed, and he diverted his eyes in embarrassment. “I…” Yuudai gave a long sigh. “I-I didn’t know what to think Reiko.” He had stumbled on the clearing where Shi and Reiko had consummated their mateship, their scent so strongly intermingled that Yuudai could not mistake what had happened. But know he could see that he may have come to the wrong conclusion. She hadn’t come right out and said anything, but Yuudai could tell that something was amiss.

Clearly, he had failed. The crushing realization nearly brought him to collapse alongside her. But her held his stance. What should he say to her? He wasn’t sure there was anything he could say that would fix this… fix them. Sorry didn’t seem to cut it. Because an apology wasn’t what was needed. “I’m gonna kill him.” Yuudai whispered, all of his frustration and anger finally settling on appropriate target.

Normally Yuudai coming so near to her, to her aid, would bring butterflies to her belly and elation - but today, it brought dismay. Pushing away as she hastily made distance between them again. He can't smell you on me! she hushed quickly, almost tripping her own feet while desperate to keep the void between them. The last thing she, or the puppies needed, was another brain-rattling hit to disorientate her once again for a few days. 

And where would that bring us? Though she did not love Takeshi, or want to be with him, she didn't want him dead either... did she? It seemed so harsh... and he was her mate now never the less. He promised to take care of the puppies, and that's what mattered, right? It wouldn't fix us. As much as she would have liked it to. What of Hiromi? You'd rather I raise these children on my own? She couldn't fathom he would be so bold to claim both her, and Hiromi - and what a scandalous thing that would be too! What would everyone else think of all three of them?!

Her recoil was so sudden that Yuudai jumped, taking a hasty step back as if he had been burnt. Rei had never reacted to him in such a way. There was a pause between them before she spoke again. She spoke logically, methodically, she had obviously thought of it. But she hadn’t thought of it as Reiko, she had thought of it as an Empress. But as Yuu processed what she said, he found he didn’t care if killing him would fix it or not. All he knew was that he had hurt Rei, he had hurt the woman he loved. For him that was enough to warrant his death.

Hiromi. Finally it came full circle. He had known their coupling would be a mistake, his brain had told him as such. But his heart, hir heart could not agree. Despite knowing it to be wrong, Yuudai couldn’t not fully understand why it didn’t feel wrong. His features softened slowly. “You’ve never been alone Rei. You have a whole pack who would help you raise them.” Of course that didn’t make up for growing up without a father, but Yuu had grown under the watchful eye of a single mother. “I turned out alright didn’t I?” He tried, vainly, to catch a smile his own lips turning up as he referred to his deceased mother. “Do you honestly think Hiromi and I would let anything happen to them?” Surely they would already be surrogate parents to the little tikes regardless of Takeshi.

She hated the distance that grew between them, but it was necessary. It was right, she had to go and mask the little scent of Yuudai she already had gathered by being this close by rolling in the new blossoms before Takeshi could find her. So many precautions had to be taken, but they couldn't let this distrust and misinformation between them fester any further. It would tear the pack apart from the seams and quickly disperse all that they worked so hard to create. They already had a refugee in Awenfen, and others who sought a peaceful home like Atwood or Collision. 

If I can't raise my own young, how could anyone trust my decisions? Every move, despite every twist and turn that came with it, was thought for the better of everyone. They couldn't lose themselves like Uaine had, trust had to remain as the pillars to keep the pack together and safe. She had made so many promises. Of course you did... but if others knew? Could they trust you too after killing a pack member? Would you tell them of this to explain your reason?

Would he tell them all of their Empress' lack of ability to protect herself from such a thing? Again, Ibis' words cut through her remembering how awful it made her feel to 'let that happen' as if she hadn't fought to her capacity against it.. and failed once more as she did with that red woman last summer.

Finally he snapped! He couldn’t take it anymore. After his confrontation with Takeshi a few days prior and now this? “I DON’T CARE!” His voice rose, louder than any conversation he had ever had with Reiko. He was truly and utterly angry. “I don’t care what anyone else has to say. I don’t care if they trust me or not. I won’t tell them anything. Can’t you see Reiko? Can’t you see what his presence has already done. The chaos he brought with him?” He knew Vespera had seen it, and Hiromi.

Exasperated, he quickly turned from the opposing woman. “He’s torn us apart, Rei.” His head dropped, along with his voice. He was utterly defeated. Surely she could see that his presence was a poison that needed to be cured. “I love you.” He wasn’t as afraid to admit it this time, knowing his feelings to be true and knowing they were also returned. “I-I can’t see you hurt like this.” What was he supposed to do? “I could raise help you raise them as if they were my own. You know that. And you know Hiromi would expect nothing less. The whole pack knows how close the three of us are… or used to be. No one would question you Reiko. No one.” Surely she could see that they were loyal to her, not to Takeshi.

cameo!

In the night he awoke to a shout, his eyelids fluttering open suddenly. The voice of Yuudai. Takeshi pulled himself up tiredly from the niche where he slept, making his way towards the noise. It was hard to disguise in the darkness, when you were a white wolf- but either way, he felt he had little to hide. He had a right to this land like any wolf of the Empire, and he knew damn well that those making little attempt to hide their conversation couldn't be doing much of anything. Right? Wrong. He made his way up a slope beside them, sheltered behind rocks and jagged cliffs, just in case- the words that hit his ears came distantly, he nearly strained to eavesdrop. But the phrase I love you slipped from Yuudai's lips. Was it Hiromi down there? It was too far to catch any scents, but... the offering that came next, and the final words- No one would question you Reiko. No one. keyed him in on who exactly conversed below. Takeshi wanted to intervene, to tear that asshole apart- but he had done well enough to preserve his cover now. It wasn't worth blowing it... and so he slunk off quietly down the slopes, careful in his cover behind boulders and stones, to think to himself on what he had heard. And to allow time for his blood to boil slowly within his veins.

Yuudai's outburst frightened her. Squatting down low with ears tucked tightly against her crown, eyes scanning for anyone approaching... nothing, nothing yet. She would be on high alert from here on end, quick to disperse should a certain someone come sauntering by; unfortunately for her, he already was. Out of sight, and out of any type of detection that she could get. If she knew he was just listening in out of reach, she'd probably vomit here and now; but this is where ignorance is bliss, right? 

I can't comfortably send you off to kill him. Purposely she kept her voice low again, feeling the previous bold rush fade as she once again tried to sink into the darkness that revealed their presence. White fur. Many seemed to find it so lovely, but here, it was nothing but a stain unless they were in the dead of winter. My conscious would never allow it. Wouldn't she, by association to the plot, be just as at fault with it all if she did? 

I'm sorry. Defeated, she shook her head. Takeshi's poison had already run so deep at this point that the Empress could barely see the light at the end of the tunnel, the brightness just beyond his curse. We can't take back what happened... I've accepted it. More so now that we understand... You'll be a great father to Hiromi's pups, and husband, I know you will.

He couldn’t bare to turn and look at her. Taking a deep breath his gaze lifted to the sky, the meteor shower fading. Fewer and fewer starts raced across the sky. A sad smile lifted his lips, a memory surfacing. “The things you hide in you heart will eat you alive.” The words fell easily, mimicking the first time he heard them. His mother had warned him long ago what would happen when he held his feelings to close to his heart. He couldn’t help but of how different their present could have been had he found the courage to tell Reiko how he felt long ago.

Tears came to his eyes then, falling freely. Casting one last glance over his shoulder, capturing the sight of his previous lover one last time. “Goodbye Reiko.” There was a profoundness in his tone, that lead to more than a simple farewell. His words ran deeper than that. He was done. He couldn’t stand here anymore, he had offered her a solution. It wasn’t the cleanest, or the most morally correct. But it would have saved her. It would have saved them. Sadly he turned from her, making his way back to his den, and his sleeping mate. Perhaps now she truly was alone.

And just like that, she had lost a lover, a friend, and a future that held so much more than what she had now. But it was for the better. It had to be this way. Neither one of them would be painted as murderers, peace would be kept, Reiko and Takeshi simply had to find some common ground between them, even if that seemed impossible at this point, it had to be done sooner rather than later for the sake of the empire!

Sacrifices always had to be made for the good of everyone. Even if Yuudai managed to say his departure, she, could not. Instead, she watched him walk off and turned her head to the sky to watch as the final stars twinkled and faded as they streaked across the sky, burning brightly and fading just as quickly as the passion between the star-crossed lovers. 

Despite the aching she felt, she had to remind herself that it was all better this way - as a tear rolled down her own cheek.