Porcupine Ridge Here, There And Everywhere

@Ibis ? Gonna have Vespera meet as many RE members as possible C:

The chat with Yuudai had her thinking about what she could do to improve herself, maybe even surpass her own expectations. But the girl had no idea where to start, for now, she was stuck traveling with a new group that Reiko had formed and along the way. There were a few other members that tagged along that Reiko knew and Vespera felt like she was in a box of her own since she didn't know any of these wolves. The exile had only spoken to Reiko once and that was when they were forming, the mysterious woman had been keeping herself busy while the dark woman felt left behind in the dust.

Vespera rode along with the uneven land of the ridge, she really had nothing to do or didn't have anything to think about, for once, she felt silent, maybe she could run into a member and have an awkward conversation, but it would be better than nothing. Her violet orbs scanned the area and made note of her environment even though there was nothing to look at. Her surroundings felt as dull as she was while her heart was aching for something, or someone to cross her path, no matter how much she really didn't care for interactions.

They needed to move on, but Ibis couldn't, not yet. She still could not find her aunt Sarah and the loss of yet another member of her family weighed heavily upon her. From the ridge she could look down in to the valley which cleaved through the mountains; it was beautiful, and had she been in another frame of mind she would have been enthralled by the majesty of it. Instead she saw the haze of misty wet snow coupled with a moody sky and felt her throat constrict with emotion.

All she could do was wait for Sarah to catch up to them, and beg the others to just wait. She knew that their patience was growing thin, though. It was unfair of her to demand they linger too long; they needed sanctuary, now more than ever. Ibis struggled for sleep when the rest of the travelling group would huddle for the night, and took to roaming for hours across the ridge on the hunt for those she missed so deeply. Never once did she return with company, and so her sadness grew deeper still.

On one such moment - nowhere near twilight this time, but still quite brisk and chilly for the waif of a girl - she patrolled an area of the ridge along its eastern expanse. Here she could see a patch of blue sky overhead, witness the clouds gather and tumble like the depths of a scryer's crystal ball; she sighs, watching as that patch of clear blue is swallowed up by grey, and as her posture droops, she takes notice of a shape approaching from over her shoulder. It is one of the travellers - a large woman, one of the largest she has ever seen, but not the one she's eager to reunite with.

Rather than call out to them she stays quiet, watching for a bit, and then turns to stare down in to the glorious valley once more; but no matter how many days Ibis spends missing those she loves, she cannot summon them by sheer force of will.

Just her luck, someone actually did come, of course, it was someone that she didn't know. But the scent of the stranger filled her nostrils as she continued to stroll along the ridge, the scent became stronger as she got closer to the other wolf and her vision began to become clear. Once she came into view, Vespera recognized her just a bit, it was the one they called 'Ibis' and she was the one that was talking with Reiko about this 'Sarah.' All the exile could think was that Ibis was connected to this Sarah somehow but she didn't want to play detective and try to guess. The dark woman was careful with her steps as she noticed that the girl was looking down the valley as if she was remorseful in some way, but Vespera was no therapist so she didn't really know the right words to say.

"Tough night," She spoke with casualty as her muzzle pointing towards the valley like she was observing it with Ibis. But she wasn't one for starting conversations, but it seemed that the smaller woman wasn't going to start the conversation so she reluctantly took the obligation to start one. Vespera didn't get too close to her so she took a seat near Ibis at the edge of the ridge and continued to stare down at the valley for eye contact did make her a bit uncomfortable.

As the woman drew nearer, Ibis' nearest ear flicked to show she was aware of her presence. They settled along the ridge, at first merely sitting nearby, but then within the silence stirred a voice. Not wanting to appear closed-off (despite feeling exactly that), Ibis glanced towards the giant of a woman with a thin smile upon her face. A practised look, this time unnaturally cold compared to how the girl usually composed herself. She just couldn't summon enough good feeling in that moment.

A tough night indeed. There had been many during her short life thus far. Ibis nods, watching over the ledge for a moment longer, and then focuses on her present company. Unfortunately, she murmurs with a little nod, but then bypasses that topic in lieu of another: But just look at that view. Makes me feel bad for, well, feeling.. bad. Did that even make sense? It was hard for her to be the positive, up-beat, always-cheerful little girl these days - but maybe she didn't have to be that way all the time.

Vespera didn't really look at Ibis like one would in a normal conversation, instead she would slightly shift her head and glance towards the girl and would notice her small smile, but she honestly looked tired. Ibis responded to her first words which would confirm some of Vespera's internal suspicions that something might be the matter with her but Vespera wouldn't press her about it since it really wasn't her business. Then, the smaller female stated that she felt bad for feeling bad when looking at the valley which made the dark woman raise a brow and morphed her expression to look a little bit confused. The exile thought that conversing with Ibis might annoy her or exhaust her since her response wasn't really a cohesive sentence. But she was here now, so might as well do something.

"Yeah I get it," I think, she shrugged as she lifted her muzzle to look up at the overarching sky a little better, "there is just a lot going around you and yet there is always something plaguing your mind," she said with a laid-back tone. She was trying to relate to Ibis since Vespera felt the same way about something bugging you constantly over past experiences, even though she had no idea what Ibis was thinking about. "My mind always reminds me on a daily basis about how much life can really fucking suck," Vespera said with an annoyed and honest tone, though she wasn't directing her irritation at Ibis.

She probably wasn't making any sense. But she didn't feel like clarifying either, being too drained from the hike and each loss that piled up. It was harder now that Ibis was awake; she often thought about how easy it would have been to linger in the Emberwood, to waste away there regardless of what the little family wanted. Maybe if she had just let go, she would not be in the pain she was in now. That was a selfish thought and she knew it was wrong of her to put anyone through the same loss that she suffered. So many people came in to her life only to leave without a word, and it burned her each time.

My mind always reminds me on a daily basis about how much life can really fucking suck, The dark woman snapped, her voice twinged with annoyance which Ibis took personally. Or maybe it was the use of cussing that she disliked; it was not often that anyone used such language around her, and her ears flicked back in surprise upon hearing it. She inhaled sharply but took a moment to pause and relax herself, compose herself, before answering: Sometimes its nice. It never lasts, which I've come to understand.

She wondered to herself: how long would this last? How long before this group splintered apart and she was left all alone, yet again?

It seemed that Vespera's comment had taken Ibis back a bit since she noticed that the woman's ears flattened, perhaps she had taken the comment personally since she inhaled sharply. The dark woman felt her heart pound against her chest, is this my first fuck up encounter? Jesus Christ, I wonder how Reiko would take this since these two wolves know each other, her anxiety was starting to kick in. The exile swallowed and calmed her nerves, "sorry..." She mumbled, but she hated apologizing but her anxiety wouldn't allow her to go back now, "I just had it rough for a... really long time," she breathed, it was all she could say, what could she say? She didn't want to start making excuses but her mind was scrambling.

Ibis said that it was nice and that things don't usually last which felt like an arrow to Vespera's heart, she hated the fact that what she was saying was true. However, she wouldn't let it be true, she wanted happiness and a family more than ever, perhaps she and Ibis could come and understand each other, "but... don't you wish it would?" she twisted her paw on the ground and looked like a child that had just broken something. The girl looked at the ground, for once, she was feeling vulnerable, and she loathed it, she hated that she let herself slip and looking like a scared little pup that wants to be part of something, part of a family, a community.

The subtle humility within the girl made Ibis' heart swell. She was reminded so strongly of her lost Lily in that moment; there was no way Ibis could stay truly offended or angry with anyone, especially with such a strong resemblance to someone she loved so very dearly. Offering the girl a small smile (which she realized wouldn't be seen because Vespera was looking down), she chuffed softly to garner her attention, hearing her quiet comments, which sounded more like a lamentation than anything. But she was right, too.

Of course I wish it. I wish everyone could be happy, and fed, and healthy, and together -- most of all, together. She sighed, and looked up at the sky as it began to transition through shades of varying darkness. In the morning there would be light, she told herself. All I want is a family that stays together. You know, I thought for a while... That I was cursed, she felt foolish for even voicing this, as childish as it sounded, but it was the truth. Ibis glanced to the girl and her smirk had become something a little bit stronger. Everyone leaves me. Except for Reiko -- so far.

The dark woman was mentally screaming at herself to get it together since she was in the presence of another, but she had been fighting herself for so long that she was beginning to lose the war. Ibis gave a friendly chuff to get her attention, first Vespera darted her gaze to look at the woman and what she could see was a smile painted on her face, so the dark woman craned her head up with her face more calm and interested. The woman then answered her question by saying that she would, of course, want everyone to be happy and to be healthy and together.

To be a family.

The woman felt youthful and innocent for the first time in a long time, her ears swiveled forward with a wonderous look in her eyes. Ibis wanted the same thing that she always wanted a family. A family to keep close and to always be with. "yeah..." A look of realization morphed on her face as she turned her muzzle to look at the ground once more, then, she raised her crown and gazed at the sky.

"Me too."

The girl said that everyone had left her except Reiko, another cord that hit hard on Vespera, she folded her ears back a bit and her eyes narrowed a bit, "guess we both have something in common..." she muttered as she was trying to shelf the anger that was boiling inside of her.

Well look at them, two massive sad-sacks wallowing in their sadness together. Sure, they had something in common - more than one somethings, actually - but was it a good sign that the sorrow was what linked them? Sounds like a path that would lead to unhealthy co-dependence. Luckily Ibis was more upbeat than that, and when the girl mentioned their sameness, she merely nodded. The solemnity of the moment was starting to make this encounter awkward. Ibis watched the woman, saw the way she was staring at the dirt and bore witness to the reduced posture, and then turned away, looking out over the valley and imagined the possibilities.

In a few hours the group would be moving on to Kaistleoki. Once they reunited with Ira things would progress quickly - some would no doubt choose to pledge themselves to the kingdom. Ibis wasn't sure what she was going to do if they all splintered apart. For now she would bask in the company of the other woman - sorrowful they both proved to be, but it was better than nothing.

Things will get better, Ibis offered eventually, and while her voice was subdued, there was a soft hope to her tone. They can't really get worse now, can they. That was rhetorical; and also quite naive.

Silence overshadowed the two sorrowful women, Vespera admitted that being stuck in the deep end of her depression wasn't fun, but what could she do? She had been running into misfortunes all her life and she didn't know what she could do to break the long chain that cursed her life. But, the words of Yuudai started to echo in her head, we may surprise you, we may surprise you, we may surprise you... It was all that she could hear, his repeating phrase made her eyes flutter up into the same direction that Ibis was staring off to, but that was unintentional. Ibis's voice shattered the repetition of Yuudai's words, her voice was filtered with a slight glimmer of hope, but there was still something broken within the woman that made it clear to Vespera that even Ibis wasn't quite sure.

But the girl was more optimistic than Vespera, so swallowing her spit, she raised her head up as the girl spoke and continued to eye the valley below her.

"I hope so..." she said sheepishly as the wind moved her fur in the motion of a wave.

"I really hope so..."