Northstar Vale A new reason to smile.

In the few days since her return, Ibis had not seen @Reiko - but she had been very distracted with @Akavir in that time, keeping close to him or hiding out within the vale for games and such; things to keep from prying eyes. He had left to find something to eat and Ibis was lounging in a patch of flowers, reminded of the clover field that had been her favorite spot within her father's claim — her skin buzzing, a smile upon her face. She thought of her friend when a tendril of scent caught her attention. As she sat up, she thought she saw her friend further afield - but that couldn't have been right. If it was Reiko, she'd have gained a few pounds. The silhouette was particularly corpulent, and Ibis was perplexed by the sight.

The flowers were in bloom finally, everything within the vale was bursting with color and sweet scent that helped soothe her nerves that were lost constantly on edge these days. Ibis had come back for over a week now, but distracted by her growing pregnancy and difficulty sleeping, Reiko kept forgetting to go and seek her out to greet her back home- well, that was until the little Queen was in sight and the Empress was quick to bounce into action. 

Ibis! How was your little vacation? Naturally, she quickly walked up to the reclined Queen, dropping down to curl up next to her - so much had happened and Reiko was thirsty for some friendly companionship. She noted the smell of a strange man on Ibis' coat but would ask about that later than to bombard her with what could be personal questions.

Eventually the wolf she was not-so-subtly staring at took notice of her, and began the slow trudge to get closer. Yes, it was Reiko — and yes, she was becoming quite spherical. It was rude to stare. Ibis somehow couldn't help but do just that, and only looked away when Reiko plopped herself against the grass and asked her question. It gave her a moment to focus on something else at least.

Longer than I meant, I'm sorry if I missed anything, Ibis murmured, giving Reiko a brief once-over with her eyes as if to solidify her point. It was good to stretch my legs. I am glad to be home, though. How are -- I mean, you're, blink, blink, blink. How does one reference their best friend's inflating body without sounding -- well -- vaguely mortified?

It's okay. She reassured. I'm simply happy you returned safely. Because that was all that mattered. They all had lost so much and Reiko would have been devastated if, on top of everything else, Ibis had gone missing for good and needed a search party to go after her... Guardians forbid she would go unfound like so many others before her.

Fat? Offering a faux expression of "how dare you!" she twisted her head and then only after a while eased into a mocking grin, teasing her friend before correcting herself. Pregnant, yes. Not wanting to go into details of the whole ordeal, or of who the dads were of the puppies - she was still uncertain if she should tell the truth or go with that her now mate, was the father of them all. 

I should be due by the end of May or so. If she counted her days properly since the beginning of when the symptoms began.

Fat. Reiko's feigned offence made Ibis take on a contrite expression, which then morphed in to one of glee when the truth was revealed: Pregnant, yes.

Oh! That's such good news!! Oh my gosh Reiko — Her little tail whipped at the flower patch, beheading some of the buds, not that they were important. Imagining little mini-Reiko cherubs racing around the vale was thrilling. And so soon! It was a good thing that Ibis had returned when she did.

Do you need anything? I can get Akavir to hunt or -- we could find something for your den, if you have one. Do you have one? Or are you waiting for -- a closer time...? Thoughts buzzed in her head, to the point that Ibis jumped right on by the explanation for Akavir and focused entirely on the upcoming litter. I'm so happy for you, and -- wait, who did you choose? I mean, there weren't many options for uh, men, from what I remember...? Her mind flashed to various fuzzy memories but nothing concrete.

It was good news! The Empress was both excited and afraid of becoming a mother for the first time, she had dreamed of the day since she was very young! If only the way they came about was little... more like the dream she had thought of, the husband, their father, being the man she wanted him to be. 

Ibis was already all over the place mentally at the news, bouncing from one idea to the next and it made the pale woman giggle, letting her ramble on before she added anything. I'm... Not sure? One thing was certain, she wasn't feeling very hungry lately. She did her best to eat something because she knew she had to, but other than that, her appetite was shot. What were you thinking of?

Then the obvious question came around, though she had the right to know, Reiko didn't quite want to answer. Her smile faded, should she tell her partner in leading this pack the truth? ... about that. Her voice went quiet, hoping that no one else would listen in, or could with how low she would talk from now on about the subject. I can't be certain who their actual father is... It could either be Takeshi, or Yuudai... or both. Clearly speaking of this was difficult as she spoke slow, choking on the words as they came.

Takeshi and I are mates now... but please keep Yuudai a secret. I don't know what others might think of me, of them, if they all knew. She chose to keep Takeshi's violation, or why they had two fathers a secret for now - not wanting to alert Ibis... he was her husband now after all... and her job as a wife had to be to protect him, yes? To protect his honour and image.

Ibis quieted when she saw the pinched look on her friend's face. She studied her intently, and cupped her ears forward to listen as things were explained. It baffled her a little that Reiko would be embarrassed about loving two men; it was a far cry from what she had just gone through herself, of which Ibis didn't feel a lick of guilt. What was there to be guilty about? But she would keep her secret - of course she would!

Still, Ibis was concerned. Why keep him a secret when he could be your mate? Does he -- does he know you might carry his kids? Her cheeks flushed; more because she was suddenly running all her own adventures through her mind and wondering if maybe she would have the same result. Reiko, there's nothing wrong with enjoying your body, on your terms. If you wanted to share with one man or many, or even with women - who cares? It makes you happy, so do it. Ibis was smiling as she concluded this, hoping Reiko wouldn't catch on to the hitch in her voice when she swapped genders.

To carry through that, she added: I mean, I think I have you beat anyway.

Does he know? They haven't seen each other since that magical moment, the moment when she thought he, Yuudai, would be her mate, the Emperor to sit at her side and love her until the rest of their days. Why was he avoiding her? She avoided him for well... for avoiding the repercussions for what happened between Takeshi and her. But would she spill her secrets to him if he had come to her? She liked to believe she would! Because Takeshi and I are mates, to honour our parent's final wishes. He had successfully convinced her of such. 

And... I can't be certain of it, but I think he and Hiromi are together. Judging by Hiromi's own swelling belly, the scent of him upon her coat - even she wasn't that ignorant.

Everything Ibis said went against her mother's teachings. How a woman's body sacred and not something to give around for everyone to enjoy, that a mate, was the one individual who should appreciate all the little gifts she could bring. For if she would sleep around, who would respect her mateship with anyone? I'm supposed to be an example, steady, something they all look to for stability. Would they respect me if they knew? There was truth in Ibis's words, but Reiko's own hesitation was confusing. 

Curiously she turned her head to the Queen's final utterance, brows arching, asking for more. Did Ibis mean what Reiko thought she meant?

To some extent she understood. Keeping the legacy of those that came before - mothers, sisters, grandparents - was a great deal of weight, but yes, she understood the value of such responsibility. It didn't mesh with her own sense of right and wrong, though. A storm surged across Reiko's features as she tried to relay her feelings, but Ibis found her closed-off to them the longer she spoke; as if someone had indoctrinated her in to this different way of thinking. She frowned.

You are an example. You are a fine example of a leader, and of a woman. You can bring life in to the world and that is a great power; that's the legacy you should uphold. The power of creation, the beauty in it, and the beauty in yourself. Ibis spoke from the heart, although it was a bit confusing as she laid it out. You cannot bring shame to your family, Reiko. You're alive and you are bringing children in to the world made out of love - that's amazing, you're amazing.

Had she known how these children had been created, perhaps she would have changed her tune. Reiko's raised brows redirected her energy a moment, though. I'm sorry if I'm being pushy about this. I need you to understand though. You're my best friend and I love you, but don't think I won't smack some sense in to you if its required. That's what a girlfriend is for!

No mention of her little.. adventure. Yet.

Every word Ibis uttered brought happiness to the woman's bosom, it lifted her out of that perpetual fear and cloud that kept hanging over her for the past few weeks, growing and festering despite every bandaid she slapped on to try and keep face. To be that leader, to be that wife, to prepare to be that mother. It all helped to illuminate the path - but it all soon, quickly, oh so quickly came crashing down. 

Just as she was about to say how much she loved Ibis too, a look of utter panic exploded from her face. Every facade, every mask, everything she had worked so hard in keeping face to everyone else exploded with a shattered expression of sheer horror. They weren't all made out of love! The words could not be stopped, absolute verbal diarrhea as the sudden flash of that day came flooding in, a shudder ran through her as she rolled over onto her belly, tail curling tightly around and under trying to shield herself from the memories.

Yuudai was a moment of love, of adoration and desire to create - Takeshi however, even as he was her husband, still struck fear in her soul. Every inch of her body trembled as she fought against the feeling.

Reiko's admission curbed some of Ibis' enthusiasm and vigor; the girl looked at her friend intently, at first perplexed with how to take the comment, but then a subtle darkness enveloped her little face. She shot to her feet, the thin fur along her scruff and spine bristling like quills.

What do you mean. Did - did someone hurt you? A flash of memory startled her then; an image of a drowned woman, face buried in the mire. The shock and horror and disgust all tangled in to a heap, which she had swallowed down. One of her last memories of their last home - a murderer on the loose. Somehow her brain tied that to Reiko's comment. Reiko, Ibis sighed her name, delicate upon her lips, but incised with residual fervor from her earlier diatribe.

If only she were bigger, bolder, stronger; if only she were Okeanos! Or any man. If only she had been here.

The shaking wouldn't stop, her mouth could barely form words as her own body worked against her. Against every desire to compose herself should anyone walk in on this mess of a woman they chose to follow. What would they think of the Empire then? A stable place to stay, to rest, to trust their fellow members and their leader was a disheveled, whimpering woman at the feet of a friend. 

They weren't all made with love. She repeated, not wanting to utter the vile words herself, to let the reality of what happened to slip through her vocals in fear of whatever wave of earth-shattering terror would come her way again. I shouldn't have sought Yuudai out, he got mad, I was wrong. Owl eyed, soaked with salt that was just begging to begin to roll down her cheeks, she looked up to Ibis who unlike the Empress, was standing tall. 

You need to promise, it's between us. She groveled, uncertain of what else to do to keep the peace. My husband, Takeshi, is their father.

A tension caught in her shoulders. She was not trained in fighting, could not put herself between Reiko and any danger even if she wanted to, but the look on Ibis' face spoke of a loyalty and a sense of offense that blazed with a freshly tapped intensity. She was always a girl who felt things too strongly - but never had she felt such a great desire to do another person harm. It frightened her; but more than that, she felt utterly capable at the same time - as if her foray in to the wilderness had awakened a new self.

I -- Ibis wanted to refuse her. Shout it from the proverbial rooftops; find the strongest men in the pack and drive the awful man out, out, out! A wretched black spot upon their glorious new beginning. I promise, she choked out through gritted teeth.

Husband, she recited once Reiko had concluded her story. Husband. How could a husband treat a wife that way? How could Reiko allow herself to be subjected to any harm, when he was meant to love her? No. Wrong. Not a husband. A captor. The girl's spine prickled further and her tail-tip twitched. A husband should love you, trust you, and honor you. No man that harms you can earn that title - I will keep your secret Reiko, because you need me to - but, but what? She couldn't demand the truth at a later date; she couldn't chase this horrible man out, or punish him in any real way. If he hurts you again --

The threat was left open-ended. Ibis could do nothing and this lack of agency frustrated her more than anything. She'd find some way to fix this, she swore to herself. One day.

Her stomach ached, she felt nauseous and wanting to purge the non-existent content within her belly onto the floor, but it didn't come. Right now she envied Ibis' strength, her own sense of justice, and certainty in her beliefs. It took a moment but she was eventually able to relax the tense muscles that seized every fiber of her being. Deflated and defeated as she lay on the ground, but at least she was no longer coiled and wound up. Thank you.

But it didn't stop there. More truth from Ibis came forth, digging through her ears and made its home within her thoughts. All the thoughts, everything that overshadowed her days - she was right. Oh man was she right. How could she continue to dispute it? Dispute she does, she was in that spider's web he had weaved and ensnared her in. 

He won't. There was no certainty in her own tone, barely believing it herself as she spoke. I've accepted our arrangement, I hope we can be a true family soon. He said he would raise them all as his own... I have faith. At this point, she could only hope that Takeshi would uphold that, would make both their lives easier by following through and doing just as she hoped he would. 

She could only lie and protect him for so long... even she knew that.

She huffed at the thanks, and resisted rolling her eyes at the rest.

Raise as his own - sure, that's great. He'll raise any of your sons to do the same to their sisters, to their future wives, great. That's perfect, Reiko. A new start and we're already trying to clean up a mess by some idiot man. Ibis couldn't help but let her thoughts flow, vitriol and all, until they ended. It wasn't what Reiko wanted to hear right now - nor what she deserved. She should have been sympathizing and doing her best to soften the situation, but Ibis was angry, and she could rarely control herself when her energies got so focused.

A new thought struck her then: What about me, Reiko? She couldn't shake the obvious worry in her voice. Reiko had shared a deep secret, and now it was her turn - but seeing as how all of this stemmed from Reiko's view of promiscuity, how would she react to the truth of Ibis' so-called vacation?

You worry about your two - suitors, careful now; but... My vacation, as you call it. I needed to get out and stretch my legs, but I did more than that. I.. Lost count of how many, but there were men. A woman, at one point. She could have rattled off names if she had known them; but then the only names she knew for certain were Mal and Akavir. Thinking of the dark man she'd brought home, she felt her cheeks flush. I never considered that I might.. be pregnant. It was fun, that was all.

The tense look Ibis passed to her friend said it all: was she to be joyous in this possibility, as she had been for Reiko? Or would she be condemned, for her apparent crime of being open with her body?

Again, she wasn't wrong. But Reiko had to put her paw down eventually. Finding enough strength to stand back up, despite the wet streaks staining her cheeks and legs that were mere seconds away from collapsing again, she frowned at the toxic words uttered. Do you think I will raise children like that? She took offense to the accusation. Even if Takeshi was a horrible man, in the end, failing to be a proper father - she hoped that her own part in raising the young wound win them over in the end.

Ibis continued and Reiko returned to a more neutral state in order to listen. A woman at one point? That is what caught her attention more than anything. Come to think of it... Ibis had been hinting of such things earlier in the conversation and acting strangely in the past too. Oh Ibis... She started, unsure of what to say now.

She had thought of it being possible, and now more so than before that her friend might bring new life as well. I'm sure it was. A pause... This whole meeting came to a different turn, all she wanted was to sit and chat with Ibis, and now it had gotten all so heavy. If you were in heat... you may be as well. She thought that Ibis perhaps was according to the scent she left behind before leaving; but again, it was all assumptions.

Is the man you brought in one of them?

Oh, Ibis... Was that pity in her voice? Maybe not, but that's how Ibis heard her name as it fell from her friend's lips. She heard the rest but did not react to it, too busy staring empty-eyed ahead; thinking of those moments of passion, expression, play, and how they might affect her entire future now. She had always wanted to be a mother, but not yet - no, she was too young. That youthful ignorance coupled with a sense of security (in knowing she could come back to the Empire after her adventure) had given her the courage to strike out on her own and have her fun. How was she to know?

Is the man you brought one of them? — Akavir. He was here somewhere, he could have heard their entire discussion; Ibis looked around then, as if expecting him to materialize and begin throwing judgement at them both, when really it was Ibis feeling self-conscious of her decisions for the first time since making them.

Yes, his name is Akavir. I brought him home, we.. We have a connection. The words felt as if the fled from her, as if she were slowly deflating around the weight of her new reality. Pregnant. No; she would deny that until it became clearer, until she knew for certain. She was not ready. Her gaze flashed with determination at that thought and she looked to Reiko, wondering if she would be rebuked. Am I a lesser woman because of my choices, Reiko? I loved none of them. I only wanted - I'm not sure, the fun of it? The passion? To feel something more than the sadness that has plagued me since the Emberwood.

She needed validation or condemnation, something, lest she wallow in this limbo for eternity.

For Ibis' sake now, Reiko gathered as much strength as she could. It was her turn now to reassure her friend, how well she would succeed would soon come to light but she couldn't be certain of her own ability to ease the Queen's worry. That's good. The words were barely audible, more so a note for herself than anything.

Asbolutely not. Both their situations, even if they seemed similar, were very different. It's quite normal and I'm happy you explored it all. It was, and even if she had her own reservations of her own first experience of the season, she knew the truth of it all. You had fun the whole time? No man forced themselves upon you I hope? Her brows arched in worry, hoping to hear that all went well.

But there was that ever-looming possibility. Every man, every new experience, they all came at a possible cost during that time of the year. What do you want if you're pregnant? She tried to pick her words carefully, it was possible Ibis had not accepted her fate as Reiko had already - no matter how it might have happened, she was readying to be a mother already.

Forced --? No, I'd never let that happen. She replied, sharp as a whip, only to realize what that sounded like. She hadn't meant to compare herself with Reiko or their similar-but-different situation; Reiko had not asked for it to happen, she hadn't let anything transpire, it had been forced upon her by a lesser man than the one she cared for. Hearing her blunder caused her ears to slant back, and her expression to turn apologetic; but already Reiko was moving on.

What do you want if you're pregnant?

What an odd question. What did Reiko expect her to do? If she was pregnant then that was that, her life was over and the family she always wanted - granted she'd wanted it later on in life - was soon to become a reality. Maybe these children would be a stronger constant than her parents, or her brother, and never ever ever leave her. It was a desperate wish that did not soothe any of Ibis' growing nerves. But what to do - ? Was her friend advocating for something unthinkable?

I want a family. I feel I have one here, with you. Pairing that with her admission that her encountered had not been gender-specific made it sound like -- well, they'd make a cute couple, but it hadn't really crossed Ibis' mind yet that Reiko might swing that way. It was another slip of the tongue. You know I've always wanted my loved ones close. I'm always thinking about Okeanos coming home, or my mothers visiting, and... Having these kids, I might have a real shot at a family and the happiness that comes along with it. If I am pregnant, then I'll be their mom. I'll do my very best for them.

Ibis' words cut right through her. Deeper than any fangs ever could. Visibly flinching at the declaration that Ibis had said, Reiko had nothing in return other than an injured expression. Her ears went flat as she slightly pulled back away from the smaller woman as if to try and distance herself from the wounds that tore through her already pained soul. 

It had gone over her head over and over what Ibis was saying - always taking her words as nothing but affection shared between close friends than anything else - perhaps the personal turmoil she has been going through was enough to blind her. It didn't help that she was distracted by the just uttered words either that wounded her deeply. I'm happy to hear it. Now she mostly wanted to walk away and ponder over what had been said by both women, but more had to be said.

You may not like hearing what I have to say... but you might want to think of keeping him as a husband; for the children's sakes. Or any of them, even the woman - because Reiko herself didn't care what genders the parents were in the end. Puppies are better off with two parents, please take that into consideration. If you and Akavir have a connection, see if he can be a father and a King for you and your possible puppies.

The pain lingering in Reiko's expression was there because of her. Whatever gaity they had shared over the announcement that she was pregnant felt leagues away from this moment, and while the woman recoiled, Ibis felt herself withering. It was the last thing she wanted to do - purposefully or otherwise - to anyone she cared about. She would find a way to apologize; but the words didn't work in the moment.

Then, there came a proposal that Ibis had not considered; perhaps she should have thought about Akavir in such a way, but he was just another fling so far - a cute boy, attentive to her, affectionate and playful. A husband? It didn't feel right, and made her flush with new warmth. It was worth considering, she reasoned - merely for Reiko's sake, so she wouldn't have to face her own struggle alone.

I.. ah, but there was a hitch in her throat. Her tongue was tied. She couldn't think of what to say at that concept, but knew Reiko meant well and - it was probably a good idea, in the long run. Someone to help her. Was it right to rope someone in to a position like that? Whose to say he would even agree? I'll consider it. He... He doesn't know. He thinks he's the only one, and if I am pregnant... That feels wrong, like a trick. Maybe there was some sense to be found within Reiko's culture of restraint after all.

There was a mild disappointment hidden underneath her new facade that Ibis wasn't already truthful with her new companion. No, it wasn't fair to him - but all her partners should have been wiser as well in what they were participating in, even Akavir. It was selfish to think that nothing would come of a woman's heat and leave her with the possible outcome on her own, for her, and the newborn children who may need a second parent to help raise them. Thankfully for Ibis, she at least had a pack, and Reiko wasn't going anywhere. 

You are right, it's not fair for him. And that is why men had to be as cautious as women during this time of the year as far as Reiko and her teachings went. Before he finds it out on his own, you may want to let him know. At least in her opinion, it was more respectable to be honest than to be found out later; perhaps if he was going to be angry, it would be lessened with honesty. 

I'm not your mom, so I will leave it at that. And perhaps they could both take some time to mull everything over.

Ibis would presume the goodness in everyone from the get-go; or that's what she liked to do, and tended to do. To think that the boy she had become so smitten with might be angry with her for sharing herself so frivolously, or perhaps even condemn her for it, was sobering. In the end it would be up to the queen to decide; but she had much to think about. The quiet the fell upon the pair was a strong enough hint that their back-and-forth was concluding soon - both soured to one another, perhaps. Ibis did not know what to say next, so fraught with contemplation, that if Reiko chose that moment to disperse from her company she would not have noticed. There was much now to think about, and all Ibis had to do now was convince herself she was strong enough to face the possible backlash - from a boy she barely knew, of all things.

With nothing left to say, she did eventually slip away from Ibis' company, quietly as to not disturb her while she thought. Reiko too needed some time alone, a lot had been said, some less pleasant than others and she hoped that it did not cause a permanent rift between them... it was the last thing she desired in this whole damn world. They had gone through so much already that this, this couldn't be what broke them apart.