Neverwinter Forest she feels free.

She felt rejuvenated. A brighter soul, who happily smiled at her beautiful children as they ran off to adventures. Finally, did her rituals come through, finally, did a sign come! The Goddess blessed Miriam with a sign, through her dreams did she follow a white owl, to a white wolf. The wolf held two pups, who were peacefully playing as the maiden watch from behind the scenes. There was no one else, besides the three.

They were of pure light, and the forest that looked much of Neverwinter, she could not see any darkness. Not even a sign of Mal, held within the dreams- but it gave her peace. She felt, that despite all that happened, Miriam was a maiden of light, and so were her children. It was how she saw the dream, a sign of a blessing.

For the first time in a long while, she stepped out of the den, felling like a new wolf.

Mal, meanwhile, was back to feeling pretty glum. Look, he got to be happy for like maybe a day before Cupid woke up. Now after that nice revelation when everyone was together, of being reminded of what happened... how long ago? It felt like forever, so many other things had happened. It all still hurt, but at least a few more days had gone by.

But just because he might feel like garbage, it didn't stop him from going and doing the stuff he was supposed to do, he'd just give Cupid space. Aibreann could do final delivery of food to him, or he could give some to Caerus if they weren't glued to each other still. Patrols and hunts to do. And after catching a young rabbit, he brought it to Miriam. Most of the time he just dropped it and left after a little bit of play with the pups if they were about -- but today was different apparently. He actually stopped mid-stride for a moment, blinking as he spotted Miriam outside the den. That wasn't normal.

Was she still against the whole talking thing? He didn't know. But he still gave her a couple of amiable wags of his tail, continuing forward to drop the rabbit at her feet. I hope you're doing well. Let me know if you need anything, yeah? It was a polite thing. He fully expected she'd shy away and not answer, if she hadn't already, but he gave her the chance, as he always did -- he just might not try as hard as normal to get a reply.

Miriam still felt cross on how to feel about Mal. The Goddess had not given any sign about him- neither any that he was good, or bad. She felt perhaps, it was meant that the maiden was supposed to judge herself on what was to be. She could not ignore him forever, for the light in her world, her two little pups, had also belonged to the man, Mal, whom was their father. He had every right to be in their lives, and so graciously let her stay in his territory.

"I'm sorry," Miriam apologized, "I had.. Been lost in the darkness for a long time, waiting for the Goddess to answer my prayers." She knew at heart what had been done was wrong, and expressed so with honest words, "but I let myself go there, and should not pretended you weren't there."

"I hope you will forgive me." Miriam looked at him with earnesty, as she expressed she knew what was wrong. It wasn't right of her, to ignore him, and sometimes her pup while trying to find the Goddesss for answers. She relied so heavily upon the answer, that even all that waiting, an answer to him never came. She was resolved to find her own answer, to whether he was light, or dark.

The maiden held faith, that it would not end in vain.

He hadn't expected a reply. It had been how long of a span of time where he'd gotten maybe a handful of words out of her? And now she spoke, and she said more than just a word or a name or a greeting. A full sentence. More. There were a lot of things Mal didn't understand. Where would he even start with them? He always did what he thought was right, but every once and a while there was something he wasn't sure of and that was just his best guess. He meant well, but sometimes that wasn't enough.

And there were certain things that other people did that were certainly worth grudges, and other things that were not. Some might have been spiteful at the way Miriam had treated him, but not Mal. It didn't require any thought, not that he was thinking particularly well because he was amazed she said something in the first place, No, it's ok. Um. Like how I've always said, I just want everyone to be safe and happy. I don't know how I could help with things, but I do want to. And uh. Yeah. Blink. Yeah, he was good at talking, wasn't he?

Miriam didn't know what to think of him, he was like an innocent child, who knew knew no better. She felt like his kind words contradicated the actions he took over time. Leading strange wolves in, however only to end up having multiple sire his wolves. 'What she wanted,' was not correct during the time, she was just an innocent maiden in heat, and desired protection.

She did not want the result, of what had happened.

She didn't want to be saved in that way.

Yet, he seemed to not understand. She wasn't sure how to phrase it either, but she knew her words needed to be spoken.

"I only wanted safety, and as much as I love Asmoses and Liliana.. That was not what I had desired."

"I wanted you to protect me, not in the way of what happened."

"I only want a husband- a partner, to give me that, and the children I birth to."

Her head went low, "not someone, whom I thought was under the Horned God."

He listened, and everything she said seemed to have the underlying tone of 'not him'. Cupid, Zephyr, Miriam, probably Ibis too -- when it came right down to it -- none of them really wanted him. In the moment it had all seemed good to him, but what was it? Confusion? Regrets? Did any of them know how that made him feel that he'd done what they'd wanted and asked (at least as far as he'd understood at the time) and then got chucked aside? Probably not. Why couldn't they have been clear with what they wanted in the first place?

No, instead it confused him. His ears tipped back a little. It showed in his voice. But I had asked.. And it wasn't what you said. He didn't like the way things had turned out. He wanted everyone to be happy together, not weird, not angry. How was it just on Mal to read minds? It hadn't seemed weird to me. If I had actually known, stuff would be different. Or would it? Hard to tell. He'd like to think that if people actually said what they mean then it'd simplify things. 

The more he was reminded of it, the more Mal wasn't sure if Aibreann was just happy to settle or actually liked him. But at least there was Hua. Probably, right? Too bad that scenario was difficult. Couldn't some part of his life be what he wanted? He was tired of hurting from things that were never done with malice. He had done what he was asked -- with permission, which he thought was exactly what they wanted too. But things were never simple.

"We, as woman, are gifted by the Goddess with the ability to birth," Miriam started, "but darkness had taken advantage of it and lended us a curse, where we fall whims to our desires, a lustful sin." Even she, truly doesn't remember that night. She remembered being hungry, and seeing a handsome man, it was all she wanted, but not truly, at heart, to what she wanted. 

"I wanted protection, against myself." She wasn't sure how the other woman felt, but by the reponds from Cupid, perhaps so. She did not know the rest, if they held regret that the maiden had, or truthfully wanted the male. At the time, she wanted him, but her heart simply did not. 

"It's the darkness that lures us all to these desires."

"In the end, I got them," her gaze wandered toward her den, a shine of warmth through her wispful eyes, "but, they did not come through two lovers. Only two associates."

Why was it on his shoulders? He hadn't hunted her down, he hadn't chased down Clover either. Shouldn't she be responsible for herself? It wasn't like he had as big of an idea of how it was for her, but he definitely felt like her explanation was a way to pass the buck. Mal didn't come equipped with the fear of some higher power -- his only care was whether or not those around him who were earthbound were happy. It kept things simple. Do what you want, as long everyone's happy and agrees and all that. It should be that simple, to him.

His next words were somewhat sour, towards himself, not her, as he took a couple of steps away, And from the fact I wasn't given much of an opportunity to change things, you can just admit I'm not what you want anyway. She could just be like the others. Quit dancing around it, bust out the cruel facts. It's not like how he'd helped care for Cupid had changed anything, so why would anything change for Miriam? It wouldn't. He was just some regret. Go ahead. Admit he was garbage.

"No," she admitted, "but," she looked back up, a warm smile to her face, "at least it was someone who is in their life. Trying to make things right- even if it's not his fault entirely." Miriam of course, knew he shouldn't be all to blame. She put most of it onto the darkness, and them heading it's call. That what it does, and what always do..

She felt more prepared to fight it, and should've been as she, as a maiden of the Orchid.

"Thank you." Perhaps at this point, the girl had been shaking. She of course, held fear of this conversation, how to face Mal, and properly express how it should be. Like a doll, she would remain still and without a voice.. But with children, and the realization what had beeen done, she gained a courage.

However, it still was scary. 

Miriam did her best.

His ears folded back more, and he did a good job at staring at the ground, gaze occasionally flicking back to her. Perhaps what Miriam was saying was supposed to be comforting somehow, but the message that got through was 'no, but consolation prize.' She apparently had some sort of direction and this was her head pat and 'you tried' to Mal. He tried to smile in return, but it was weak. He didn't have much to say -- well, anything, really. While Miriam might be free of whatever cloud had hung over her, Mal's had formed again, and he started bottling it all up to bury.

When he did speak in reply to her thanks, it was controlled, trying to make none of it bug him, Just.. Let me know how I can help. Now all he wanted was to go back to Hua. He couldn't now, but she was the one he was certain of -- instead, maybe he'd go back to Aibreann again. Even if he still had questions, he could put them aside. He did like her, but all that went on in the pack made him feel doubts. But he lingered. Because he wasn't sure if there was more.

Miriam did not know the damage she had done. She wished to give the truth out, to free herself of the plague that came through her pregnancy. However, it seemed she simply passed it onto another, "you're a good father," and despite all that happened.. The regrets she held.. He was a good parent.

"You are of light."

Her kids- all the kids loved him so."I'm going back to the children. Thank you for listening."

Okay. What she said maybe helped a tiny bit, maybe a little more honest with his smile, but it still wasn't strong. There wasn't joy or pride, or what was there was diluted. Not the light comment, mind you, that didn't really mean too much to him. Especially not when other things were hanging over his head. So he offered that smile. 

He didn't trust himself to say too much, not that he could find many words to say things right now, Yeah. No problem. He could offer that at least. A dip of his head, and he started to turn away. He'd go be a regret elsewhere, and would do so unless stopped.

She only smiled warmly back before turning so- still not realizing the damage she had caused. Miriam no longer thought too badly of the man, and despite the illusions she held earlier.. She chalked it up to the darkness playing mind-tricks, and in the end causing her to commit these sins. 

Though the Goddess, forgiven her. She was no longer wrapped in that black blanket, and her children were born with her grace. Miriam was satisfied.