Redhawk Caldera angel of mercy

The conversation went on, as these things often went on, even though time had seemed to halt for a moment in Eljay's world. On from Eljay's pain and insecurity towards things he could do with Aunt Fox and Uncle P's puppies; a happier subject, for sure. The fear still roared in his mind, especially now that daddy had confirmed that it wouldn't be a good thing if the puppies turned out like him. The silly thing was that Eljay didn't really want anyone telling him that the pups wouldn't turn out like him just because he spent time with them — he wanted someone to tell him that he had turned out totally fine. He wanted to feel loved and warm and not like he was a giant loser.

With the pit in his stomach still churning Eljay smiled a little when daddy said that he'd be an awesome big cousin. "I'm gonna do my best at helping raise them," said Eljay, a soft smile on his face. Not that he was saying anything that either of them didn't already know; after all, Eljay always tried his very best. "So uhm... Are mommy and you going to, uhm..?" asked Eljay, breaching the subject gingerly. He wanted to learn more about how to take care of pups, but also wondered what he could do before the birth, 'cause he'd brought Fox things but he hadn't been able to do anything to get the pups out safely. Maybe he could try to learn about that if mommy did have siblings in her tummy again.

The siblings were a very double-edged sword though; on the one hand, Eljay loved the idea of having pups to fawn over and teach all sorts of stuff, and maybe they would look up to him the way he looked up to Nightjar some day. Besides, somehow his parents having pups again was a confirmation that they loved him and thought he had turned out fine despite his obvious shortcomings. On the other hand, he was also afraid the pups might not like him as they grew older and bigger, and that mommy and daddy might love them more. What if they were going to be brave and headstrong, and nothing like Eljay? Then maybe it would confirm he was weird.