Bitterroot Valley feels like we only go backwards

The shift was so subtle, but he couldn't have missed it; some piece of him had been re-attached, painfully, bleeding as heavily as the ragged gap it had left in the first place. This was real. He allowed his brother near him, closing his eyes for a moment as he breathed in his scent. Finally.
It would have been so easy to ignore how much it hurt. Fortunately or unfortunately, Alarian had never let anything pass easily. The touch to his cheek broke his reverie. His lips peeled back, exposing his teeth for a few beats, but he was still. Why did you leave me? Why didn't you come back? Alarian couldn't look at him, not yet, not as the questions were still spilling from him.
He would keep asking until they stopped. He would have answers— and then... then, he didn't know. Maybe then, he would finally be done. The search for Zamael had driven him for so long, he had forgotten how deep this went; he had forgotten that it was part of his core, the foundation he had built himself upon. He hadn't quite processed it yet, but already something was settling within him. Already he could feel the beginning of some kind of end.