Broken Boulder pattern evolving, motion insolvent

Suddenly all he could think about was— that. The memory he had boxed and chained and covered in all manner of locks and buried somewhere deep in his mind. That single sentence, that one indirect mention set off some kind of reaction; at once it flew from the cage he had locked it in and possessed him as fully as it had when it happened— only hours ago.
It felt like both a much shorter and a much longer time. I— earlier, I ran into Aditya, Already his voice was slightly choked. He was— upset. His mate, Dawn— that leader that visited— cheated on him. I— He swallowed hard, wondering why this was so difficult, why his chest felt tight and his ears burned and prickled with shame and self-loathing.
I was trying to comfort him— he was angry, at her— and then he grabbed me, and then he was on top of me— Alarian remembered to breathe, then, before he added: I said yes— he asked, when he was on top of me— and I said yes, Another pause, this time to swallow back the nausea rising in his throat; he had said yes because he was desperate— because he was disgusting. But then it was over, and he was apologizing— and then he was gone.
His voice finally broke at gone, lowering now so his next confession was barely audible. It— it still kind of hurts, a little— he wasn't gentle. And I feel— gross— I should have said no.