Kildeer Rest just give me time to give you a waste of time

tags for visibility but anyone is welcome to hop in!
dated for the 24th

He was in no state to be outside of the territory, and he didn't even want to think about how many different people he was pissing off at that exact moment. It was difficult enough to slip past @Zamael and @Eris; he'd just gone the exact opposite direction when he caught @Delight and @Ulf's scents, and he could've sworn he'd glimpsed Lily on his way past the borders. But somehow, he'd made it to freedom, and he wasn't quite sure what he'd do with it now.
He just needed a break.
Really, this time. It was tempting to give death another go, but he'd have to find more nightshade. There was no more Runion to use, he thought with a grimace. He felt the breeze across his wounds and winced slightly, slowing his pace to glance around with the one eye that still worked (he still wasn't used to it, still wasn't even over the fact that it had happened, but it was easier if he didn't think about it). He could see Sleeping Dragon in the distance, and the river running through the valley; he couldn't reach either of those places, not today. His meeting place with Samothes was out of the question, especially in his state, but— he'd been second-guessing that anyway, lately.

One thing he liked about the territory of grassy plains just outside Broken Boulder was how quiet it always was— sometimes he hated it, but usually when he found himself here, he needed the silence. This time was no exception. Everything hurt; his head, his neck, his shoulder, his eye— fuck, honestly everything. But he needed this— time alone, to think, without the danger of running into a packmate. At least until they noticed he was gone.
There was always too much going on. The rivalry with Queenie. The whole Runion thing. His conversation with Aditya had left him raw; he'd decided there was nothing left to salvage between them, not when he'd walked away as Alarian pleaded with him to stay, and it hurt to realize. And he still worried about the state of his relationships with Lily and Eris— not to mention Ulf, who had seemed off lately, yet he didn't have the energy to try to fix any of these things. Then there was Zamael; a constant presence, his main source of support, and presently one he largely took for granted. Perhaps that was unfair of him— or maybe he deserved this, at least for a bit, after all he'd suffered (he was blind in one eye, damnit)— right?
But none of that had driven him out here, actually. No, it was—
Goddamn Delight Singing-Sunlight. What was with that name, anyway? It was ridiculously cute, and he hated it sometimes, because (almost) everything about Delight was ridiculously cute. And Alarian— well, he was like a hermit crab. Ugly and kind of mean and very awkward to go on a date with. So the problem was obvious; except, he was pretty sure Delight was somehow into it, and that was kind of terrifying. Who likes to date hermit crabs? Weirdo.
So he was going with pretending it was totally unrequited and always would be. That was way easier than talking about feelings.