Broken Boulder i can't tell if the want justifies the need

He found Delight in his path before he could take another step, and his heart leapt up into his throat, beating so fast and loud he struggled to focus on what was being said. At first, he didn't understand. Then— then, 'I was thinking about you, too. Then he couldn't breathe, and for some reason the words felt sharp and unforgiving— it wasn't supposed to happen like this. And, fuck— Zamael was fucking right, the asshole.
You shouldn't, His voice cracked a little, raw and full of relief and apprehension in equal, warring amounts. Before he could stop himself, he took a step towards Delight, unable to look away from him. Even now he was beautiful— the word caught on the frayed edges of his emotions, whirled around his head as if to taunt him; he'd never dared allow himself to think of his friend that way. His friend. They weren't friends any more, were they? It's a bad idea. I— I fuck everything up, and I'll fuck this up, too.
Another step closer. His heart didn't slow, not for a second, matching the pace of his thoughts and his breath and this stupid, irrational, ill-advised urge rising within him like floodwater. He was close enough to touch now; the den wasn't large, and suddenly he was hyper-aware of how alone they were. I don't want to hurt you, He murmured, moving even closer, taking in Delight's scent and realizing he wanted this too much. More than he'd wanted anything in a long time. But he didn't want to hurt him.
He lingered for a beat, two, so close he could just barely feel the heat from Delight's body, but not quite touching. But, I— Alarian swallowed the words fighting to escape and leaned to press his nose into the soft chocolate fur of his cheek, muzzle trailing through the fur there and coming to rest at the base of his ear if the touch was allowed; he pressed himself gently to Delight, certain the other could feel the shallowness of his breath and the pounding of his heart. He let the touch say what he could not vocalize— but I'm going to anyway, because I don't know how to do anything else, and I think I need you.