Broken Boulder i can't tell if the want justifies the need

Awkward. He craved the safety of a full retreat more than ever, and still— still, he hesitated. The kiss broke him from his thoughts. It was his turn to hide his face in the other's fur, opting to tuck himself a little closer to Delight when all he wanted to do was flee. The significance of the decision was lost on him now, caught between conflicting emotions. There was something deeply unsettling about their closeness now, but the longer he lingered, the less he thought he could bear to untangle himself.
He didn't say anything. He didn't trust himself to speak, and for now, it was enough to know that the experience hadn't put Delight off entirely. But— well— there'd been a fight, and then there was disappointing sex, and really Alarian didn't think he could get any better at fucking everything up. And whenever one of them finally worked up the nerve to suggest they part ways, he knew whatever obligation he felt to— to not close off entirely would leave with Delight. And then— he'd probably just die or something. Or, spend a lot of time wishing he could.