Broken Boulder you only hold me up like this 'cause you don't know who i really am

backdated to yesterdayyy

Zamael is gone. It hasn't been terribly long — three, four days? — but he's noticed already. His brother doesn't typically leave the Sanctuary for long, and Alarian is in no state to rationalize. Instead he'd waited anxiously for his return, forcing himself from his den to lurk miserably around the territory for a few days and allowing his fear and suspicion to fester quietly, half caught in a state of denial and half hysterical. He's overreacting, probably. Maybe Zamael just needs a break; he knows what that's like.
But as the sun goes down he finds himself pacing at the borders, thoughts tumbling too quickly for him to get a firm grasp on any of them. He's overreacting— he can't lose him again— what will Eris say?— he should've paid more attention to him— it's all the same, a torrent of regrets and self-loathing and doubt, and for the millionth time he's reminded that he'll never change. Now it's just a matter of waiting— eventually he'll cave, eventually he'll run off again and maybe he'll find Zamael (hopefully alive), or maybe he won't; maybe he'll abandon this life, too, for the search.
He needs to see @Delight. He can't even entertain the idea of telling him he's leaving, but he needs to talk to him. It seems too dramatic to think of it as the last time, so he doesn't. It's just a talk. It takes him a moment to gather the nerve, but finally he turns to find his partner, nauseous and a little overwhelmed with the possible weight of the situation.