Ankyra Sound you're appealing to emotions that i simply do not have

The silence that falls between them only increases his anxiety, leaving space for a million thoughts to race through his mind. By the time Midar speaks, he's convinced himself that this is it; he's come here to break things off, to leave him. His lover's voice startles him a little, but the cold fear shooting through his chest quickly melts away as he listens — and he realizes several things. That he'd been wrong about the reason for Midar's anger, about his intentions here. The realization softens him; the depth of the other's feeling has yet to truly dawn on him, but as he tastes the first hints he realizes he likes it.
Yet he can't help but call to mind the reason he'd launched himself so thoughtlessly into that lake. He — His eyes find Midar, voice breaking a little, and he swallows hard. It was my fault he was in there. I scared him. He was standing there and — I coughed, and I looked up and he wasn't there anymore. I couldn't — I couldn't let him die because of me. But he did, didn't he? Alarian had left him there in the snow, half-drowned and freezing; he'd condemned him to a slower death, risking his lover's life in the process. And for what? The purity of his soul? He swallows again, looking away and fighting the urge to vomit. His next words are almost a whisper. I'm sorry.