Ravensblood Forest journey before destination

It was only when the colossus before her uttered ‘I could find your pup for you’ that the frosted countenance began to thaw with consideration — and then went frigid as a possessive sort of lunacy shone through her. This male offered to find her son, when her beloved trikova was already upturning this damned forest as it was? When she’d already sent her champion to Kaistleoki with their plight, and who was to say they’d even acquiesce? “You w-would—?”

Her breath shuttered and then came light, pattering through her breast and down down down to stifle in her lungs because I lost him I lost him I lost my son the life I made and gave this world to this world I lost lost lost can’t find I lost I lost him I lost and don't I can’t I and she couldn’t think couldn’t breathe as she went all aquiver, staggering in place as her ribs heaved heaved heaved trying to escape her, escape the tears searing and salt down her once-lovely face never again—

For the first time since the late spring, Aurëwen saw stars crowd in both of her eyes, crept in with a smothering gloam she felt take roost within every minute fracture of her being and should’ve never left no mother stupid mother can’t mother I can’t no I lost I lost my love my life child mate daughter father brother incantnsn my fault my fault my fault fault fault fault my-my faultkt mine—

And then she was stumbling, crumpling to elbows knees paws belly as the will to crawl from this rattling of her was seized, as she was by a seizure she’d naught felt in seasons and seasons. If she were able to think, she’d might’ve thought she was drowning beneath the dark waters maybe I am—