Sun Mote Copse silver lining

Honestly, Eljay wasn't sure what to do with himself. He felt guilty that he had not looked for Elfie before, out of fear and because he had been so weak due to the starvation. It had been a fall like no other, and followed by winter it simply meant he had not been able to look much before. And now it was too late. He didn't know if he would've found something if he had looked earlier, of course, but what if he had? What if he could've saved Elfie?

Wraen said that she thought Elfie'd find his way back if he was out there somewhere, healthy and alive. Eljay nodded numbly as he wondered this. Would Elfie want to visit his lame and cowardly father? Would the situation in the Strath have changed his thoughts on this? Eljay honestly didn't know, even if Elfie was alive, what he would think now. But many months had passed and with each passing month, hopes of that ever happening sank lower.

Yet he appreciated that Wraen tried to keep hope alive. It was very alike her. Thanks, he said with a sigh. I guess we can't do much but wait and hope, now. He doubted that they could actually find Elfie, and even if they did, Eljay wasn't entirely convinced that his son would view him any different, or be happy here at the Copse. Maybe it was for the better. A disheartening thought, and he soon decided to push it away before it would send him in a panic.

Do you ever think you want to be a parent? he asked because he didn't know what else to talk about, and he had to talk about something, right now, before he would get panicked feelings again. After he asked the question Eljay realised that it was a pretty rude and possibly sensitive one, and he silently cursed himself for saying it.