Hideaway Strath i think i might be scared

At her first words he’s knitting his brows together, clearly disagreeing with her mentally. Yet he doesn’t say anything yet. They’re going back and forth and it was just be polite if he continued to allow it to carry on like that. 

Before it’s his turn to defend once more. He scoffs this time. “You’re wrong. I don’t blame my behavior on any of that shit.” He spits. “I consciously make these decisions and know what could come from them. I know what I do is bad, but does that stop me? No.it might stop me if I truly cared enough to, but that’s not often that that happens.”

He is surprised she could tell he saw Simmik in her, but that’s besides the point. Sadly, whereas Leigh reads too far into it, he does not. For he only made the simple connection to their twin, pumpkin colored eyes. Besides that, Leigh is her own person and he likes different things about her individually just as he did about Simmik or anyone else. 

“Leigh. You overcomplicate me. I am a simple man, really. I like to kill, so I kill. I like to fuck, so I fuck. I like to lead my pack and I care for every individual in it. So I do what I must to take care of you all. I make most, if not every decision, with my pack in mind. I play the fucking good boy so my pack doesn’t get completely fucking obliterated. I wouldn’t give a rats ass if it was just me, but I’m also responsible for all of you. So I can’t just go around making the decisions I used to when I don’t have the numbers to back it up. Back then, I did. Also not to sound fucking sappy, but I like you for who you are not for who you remind me of.”

So then he shrugs once more. “Think of me pathetic, but I know who I am. I can and do care for others I’m just very selective of who they are. I can be very loyal, but only to those who’ve shown me the same light. Only to those who deserve it. I’m not a fucking charity case, dear. I thought you’d have figured that out by now.” He ends heartlessly, even though his previous words did have a hint of heartfelt emotion in them. He stares right at her a d nods once. “You’re right. I am hurt by those I care about. I can get hurt. I can feel loss and sorrow. So I show it? No. When I do though, it’s not in the ways most do. I’m sorry to say but if you think you’ve figured me out, you haven’t yet. You might in the future, but as of right now, you’re looking for questions you don’t have the answer to. And you won’t be getting them any time soon.” 

He stands and pads towards her. “You don’t have to forgive me, but for Christ sake stop giving me the damn silent treatment and avoiding me. ‘Cause at this rate, you’d be doing for the remainder that you know me. I will probably continue doing fucked up shit that you don’t agree with and that’s just how I am and I’m not changing anytime soon.”