Lake Rodney what would you say if i came home now

Everything was happening all at once now, and really fast. Maia agreed to having puppies, said that was what she wanted and even part of why she'd become a leader. Eljay had never thought much about becoming a leader, not until recently, when he thought of his parents and their legacy, and thought about his own. He didn't think it was necessary for him to be a leader to get permission to have pups. He didn't think they'd guilt trip him into giving up that for the sake of them wanting everything to themselves.

A part of him didn't even want to go to the Fen. He wanted to go somewhere with Maia, to be together with her, somewhere where they would be the main stars and where everyone would accept that for a fact. He didn't think that Maia would go for that, though, was afraid to ruin this good moment by making a suggestion that'd bring her further away from Wraen and everything that she loved. He wasn't sure if she was ready for a step that big, but maybe some day they could take it, together.

Today wouldn't be that day, though. There was enough going on without suggesting running off into the night together... However easier it would've been to just do that instead of having to face the pregnant women that he was letting down some day. Just thinking of them made Eljay feel like flying into a panic again, though. The pressure was too much and it was what had made him crack.

Eljay nuzzled gently into Maia's fur when she said that he was her family and that she loved him, and finally a weary, but heartfelt smile broke through the dark clouds that had been playing on his face. Thank you, he murmured. When she suggested making it official he finally lifted his head from the safety of her neck and he looked at her. He looked weary and completely worn out, perhaps even moreso than when Maia had first asked him to move, but there was a soft, fragile smile on his face nonetheless. I'd love that, he said with a soft sigh. He looked over his shoulder once more, then said, But maybe somewhere more, uhm, appropriate? And he got up to walk away — from Redhawk Caldera, from Towhee, from Niamh, from Phox, from the Blackthorn den, and from all the wolves that he so deeply cared about and considered his family.

He felt like he was about to throw up at the thought of leaving them to their own devices, but he knew that he couldn't return there right now.

Staying for another day longer would break him.

They would break him.

No... He would break himself for them.