Swiftcurrent Creek witchlore

nervously lestan waited, and nervously he looked over his own shoulder several times, as if wanting to disappear into the 
when akavir arrived, there was no word. the cousins stared at one another, lestan aware of his shortcomings even as a visible worry entered his gaze.
what had happened to akavir?
he wet his lips. "i don't r-remember everything t-that h-happened here, c-cousin. what i s-said. w-what i did." his eyes closed with the recollection of fever and pain, the golden bird winging in his mind, the deer of fire which galloped through fitful dreams. "i'd l-like to c-come — to s-stay. for s-shardik. but also to s-start over, akavir." now the hushed voice fell into shreds. did he even have the right to ask?