Redhawk Caldera If she gives you her heart don't you break it

It had been a rough few days.

He'd found out that Towhee was pregnant and hadn't even told him of her plans to get pregnant. He'd been caring for Towhee when she been unwell, though thankfully that had passed.

He'd found out Niamh was pregnant and in a bad mood. That Reyes had attacked Niamh. But there was more to it, he felt. It just wasn't right. The way Niamh had snapped at him for asking her to be more careful while pregnant, had merely asked what had caused the fight...

It didn't sit right with him. To see Maia and get a little break from keeping Niamh comfortable and warm until Phox returns was a sight for sore eyes, for sure. He felt tired and like he was running on empty.

There was something different about her that day. She was nervous and she spoke differently, with more meaning, when she said she was glad to see him too.

Then she said it. A lot of it. But the first sentence was the most important, because it spoke of her expectations:
I know you really love it here, but...
That meant that 'here' wasn't a possibility, not for her. He'd always thought that she would learn to love the Caldera. That Wraen settled nearby so they could still see each other.

So their children could grow up in the Blackthorn den.

No matter how open ended she left things, he knew the expectations uttered with this first few words.

He wasn't sure he wanted this anymore, either.
He'd often thought about how he wanted her around all the time, too.
He'd even thought of moving.

But he'd never thought of Maia asking him to move.

He'd always thought that.. maybe, one of them would get tired first. And that person would decide to move. Or maybe, they'd decide together. Talk about it. Talk about where.

It might not have been an ultimatum or a demand, but Eljay felt the pressure of those words. He felt how much it meant, and how much it meant what he'd reply. And he was in no state to handle any more being relied on, having to make decisions, being needed.

He was torn and a part of him, the same part that was hurt by Towhee and Niamh's lack of trust in him, wanted to just say okay and go with. Another part of him was not ready, wanted to ask her to come here instead.

And a big part of him just wanted to crumble down and cry, because there was just so much pressure and he felt like he would burst. That his knees would buckle under the pressure he was under.

I need you too, he said solemnly after a long silence. I... I want that too. To be with you more. But I -- He sighed, a frown on his face. I'm sorry, a lot is going on, it's -- I need some time to.. to think about that. It was then that the worn tiredness on his face truly showed, the cracks in the happiness that Maia had caused a man that was already running on empty.

He'd put his feelings on hold for the grand scheme of things for Niamh, because she was hurt; could he do the same for Maia, because she needed him?