Northstar Vale I can make anybody go to prison

Oooo… danger and skeeze! Now, that sounded fun. The young Redhawk imagined about ten different scenarios involving him fighting off giant moose creatures with sultry eyes and jagged razor teeth. It sounded sick. Towhee didn’t seem to think that was the best idea, though. Even though she did not forbid him, the disapproval on her face made it seem tantalizing. 

A trip for just Jack, he thought. Akashingo wouldn’t go anywhere. He could spend some time getting ripped before he showed up to school those skeeze-bags. They’d fall in love with him in no time, especially when they saw how strong he was. 

Lost in these daydreams, Jack Snipe nearly missed his mom’s confirmation. She would take him to see her home when she was feeling better. She even had family there, still. 

A skeptical look found his face. Towhee was pretty old. Not like crypt keeper status, but she definitely had some crinkly bits. 

How old is he?! he asked incredulously.