Neverwinter Forest A Short Rest

Tag can be just for ref. :D

Mal was not at the borders today, which probably meant there was a higher chance of running into @Okeanos, Ibis, or Cam than if he kept on the edge of things like some sort of wandering gargoyle.  But he was still quite an angular ghost of a beast, lurking beneath the trees as he watched a distant herd of deer browsing away in relative security.  By himself he didn't think he'd be able to take one down, and to a certain point he wasn't even sure he'd be able to do so with the help of the other two siblings.  He could imagine them catching small things, but a deer?  Seemed unlikely.  Too soft. 

But what did that mean for them?  They needed more wolves to help out.  But how did you find people?  Did you have to go like... hunt them down?  Or did they just show up?  Which was proper?  Could they afford to be picky?  Ugh.  Mal's brain continued to jabber away at him while he stared at the delicious looking deer, here but at the same time out of reach.

okeanos has done mostly pretty good with -- not avoiding mal, per se, but certainly keeping himself busy, lest he have to bear the bad news cam brought. ibis and cam's company have helped keep the nagging guilt/urge away thus far. only ibis went to visit their mother, to check on her in the aftermath of cam's news, and okeanos thinks she'll be gone a while. he does not begrudge this -- ibis has always been flighty, has always needed to stretch her wings every so often, so to speak -- but it does mean his options for companionship near his age have been cut in half.

so he makes an effort -- what were his dreams about cultivating a proper friendship again? if only he weren't such a coward -- and lets himself catch mal's scent, idly following it until he runs into the spotty boy. his eyes follow mal's toward the deer herd, his stomach obligingly rumbling. it's been a little while since he had deer, or any animal large enough that more than wolf would need to take it down. is mal thinking the same thing? cautiously he comes closer, and says, "am i interrupting you?" gesturing vaguely toward the herd.

He wanted one.  Bleh.  Oh look, Okeanos.  At least the idea of him being around was treated with less ire than when he'd initially appeared on the scene here.  Sure, Mal still wasn't particularly sure what to do with them, but meh.  If he couldn't have his own sister in his pack he was kind of just resigned to do... Whatever.  He was such an entertaining youth, wasn't he?  With such an expression devoid of smiles -- just this sort of this neutral, bland expression that wasn't really particularly telling of whatever was going on inside his thick skull.

Mal shook his head.  He'd resigned himself to the fact that the deer were just taunting them all.  No... Just... he shrugged a shoulder. I 'unno.  Thinking. He looked back at the deer, somewhat resigned, I think we need more people.  But he had no idea where to start.  Or anything like that.  Maybe Mal should be renamed "Wing-It" because that would be plenty appropriate.  Mal was not exactly a natural at this.

there's still something so novel in being greeted by mal (or, rather, in mal's passive acceptance of his existence, which is close enough to a greeting) that okeanos finds himself utterly charmed every time. it's a problem, probably, especially when he remembers why he's been avoiding the spotty boy in the first place. 

"we do," he agrees, because that's easy, and then winces. "did ibis tell you she was going to visit -- um. going out for a little bit?" okeanos hedges, not sure how cool, conceptually, mal will be with the idea of 'visiting our moms you hate.' "she'll be back," he adds hastily, "but in the meantime..." in the meantime, its just them and cam, which is not exactly a pack so much as a motley assortment of boys. he worries his lower lip, adding, "we can - we should try to recruit, i think."

His answer was sort of muddled -- a combination shrug and shake of his head.  After their last encounter, Mal probably wasn't gonna be too keen to seek Ibis out right away and she probably wasn't too much either.  Both of them probably needed a bit of space and time and eventually they'd sort things out.  Maybe.  Probably.  But if she was gonna come back, that was good and pretty much all he needed to really know.  It wasn't like he expected there to be tons of news from whatever adventure she was on.

Based on the order threads got replied to, Mal hadn't exactly run into as many folks as... Well, basically anyone else.  Perhaps they could sense his attitude problem and ran the other way.  Like who? I've only run into you guys. It was good there weren't many wolves around, yeah, but I dunno.  Haven't seen any.  Pause.  Or how.  Because it wasn't like he was ever involved in that kind of thing at Elysium either.  He did his best to run Mahler off before he got bewitched, but that was about it.

like who, mal asks, and okeanos thinks briefly of who he's run into, the dark girl at the springs with the spotty throat, saarthal... saarthal would be. well, but he wouldn't know how to find her, or anyone he's met, really. "good point," he mutters instead. he doesn't know how elysium had gone about it either -- seems like folks just showed up every so often. phenomenally unhelpful, come to think of it. 

"well," okeanos starts, putting on a more hopeful voice than he feels, "we just need to go out and-- find them, then. be, ah, proactive about it." he tries to imagine mal actively seeking out new company and fails, amending "or, i can do that, at least.". he likes meeting new wolves -- it's just a matter of adding a by the way, come and stay with us, right? it can't be that hard. in any case, he isn't ready to give up on mal's dream, not just yet.

Yeah Mal wasn't exactly going to be good at it.  Or at least signs pointed that way.  They'd see how things went as threads panned out -- assuming they actually got picked up by potential joiners instead of those already in packs.  He could accidentally be okay at it.  Still.  People should totally come by here. I dunno why they're not.  Did they not tell us something about how stuff is supposed to work?  "They" of course meaning Elysium.  The source of all problems in life.  Other stuff is obvious when you think about it, but..  Shrug.

They hadn't taught him how to hunt but he'd eventually figured it out on his own thanks to instinct.  His own irritation at the world made it obvious that borders existed to tell people to go away, to warn people that the people inside weren't to be trifled with.  But how did they go from a random small collective to an actual pack?  Mal frowned.  And not everyone should leave at once, so...  He was not good at finishing sentences.

it takes okeanos a minute to figure out who mal means by they, and he can't help the slight downward turn of his mouth. not at the sentiment (at any other time, he'd feel the vague itch to argue the point) but at -- well. ignoring his half sentences: "has cam talked to you, actually?" he bursts out finally, fidgeting with the grass, "about what happened at elysium?"

It was really unlikely Mal's opinion on Elysium was gonna change any time soon.  His miserable experiences had been left to fester far too long.  Okeanos' question was a little odd to him, though.  Despite blinking in confusion a second, Mal ended up just shrugging a shoulder seemingly not too concerned, His mom died or something maybe?  Not anything I can fix.  But Mal seemed keen on just continuing on to something else, Look, there's nothing tying me to that pack any more -- you might, but I don't. They didn't care about me or my sisters, I'm just gonna return that favor. Delight had been metaphorically dead to him for a while.  Well, maybe not entirely dead, but he had stopped being a major factor in Mal's life long before the youth bailed from the pack.  It was probably better this way in the end.  He looked back to the deer, eyeballing them a moment.

okeanos winces and almost drops it. maybe it's better if mal just doesn't know--if he doesn't care, it won't matter either way, right? he can almost convince himself of that. but okeanos is not good at secrets, and he doesn't think this one should be a secret in the first place. "his mom and -- and your dad," he says in a long breath, the words nearly tripping over each other. he does not feel lighter for having said it, and frightened of what mal's reaction will be, rushes on. "um, i mean, i'm not -- that just seemed like, like you should know, even if it doesn't change anything about our relationship to elysium, i'm not -- i don't know." he stops to breathe, chewing his tongue nervously. mal just said he doesn't have anything tying him there, so maybe he won't care at all, and okeanos is just -- being okeanos, all too-large emotions in a too-large body. "anyway, i just thought you should know," he repeats lamely, forcing himself to look away, back to the deer mal was eyeballing a moment prior.

Mal's first reaction seemed to be almost like he didn't hear in the first place.  Yeah, she died or something, blah blah.  He was thinking about the deer.  Eventually his brain processed it, understood it on paper.  But what did he actually do with it?  What was he supposed to feel?  To do?  It made him feel kind of... Numb, maybe.  But was that it?

To call Mal anything other than emotionally immature would be horribly incorrect.  It was probably best to be stonily unresponsive so that was what he did.  He didn't look back to Okeanos at all, and even looked away from the deer entirely.  The best choice in Mal's mind was to stab at Delight's memory.  I think he made it pretty clear he didn't want to be my father. So what does that make me, more alone than I already am?! he quipped, bristling and stalking a few paces away, also not entirely sure if he wanted to continue stalking off away from this.  The deer had definitely noticed his outburst though, staring at him with their ears pointed right his way.

mal's reaction is not entirely unexpected (nor, in okeanos' mind, unwarranted) but he flinches anyway at the force of his words. the desperate, silly urge to reach out somehow and soothe his friend nearly overtakes him -- he takes a half step after mal before he catches himself. something tells him that will only makes things worse. instead he forces himself to sit, his ears laying back against his head.

"no, you're not alone," okeanos says quietly, "and you're right about him. i'm sorry if i shouldn't have told you." but you should know, he adds mentally. not to be sad about it, though okeanos wonders if somewhere, secretly, he is, but because it seems -- important. to know. then again, blood family is so ingrained in okeanos as important, as something to track, regardless of relationship... maybe it is different for mal. it occurs to him than mal probably doesn't even know about his younger siblings; that, though, he doesn't bring up--maybe mal's right and it doesn't matter at all.

He looked back over a pointed shoulder.  Mal wasn't hearing any of it, really.  The world was all about how bad he had it, wasn't it?  On a normal day he had issues relating to others, but throw a wrench like that at him and all hope was lost on that front.  Of course I am -- obviously meant to be, so what does it matter in the end? They left one by one, by one, by one... by one.  A sharp cant of his head, and one more bitterly pointed question, Who's next?  He looked back forward, slowly starting to walk.  It was about all he could think of doing.  It wasn't like the yearling was going to go and face anything or anyone unless he had to.

well, he can't argue mal has a point. as long as he's known him, his blood has been slowly exiting out of his life. the wolves that should have stayed with him and been there for him. okeanos lays his ears back, his mouth a thin, flat line. "i only meant," he says quietly (in for a penny, out for a pound), "you have me, as long as you'll have me." 

he suspects this, too, will fall on deaf ears -- and there's no point pushing mal like this unless he wants to meet teeth -- so he takes a careful step away, and then another. no; he'll let mal have his well-earned sulk, and nurse one of his own, too, while he's at it. after all, he's alone right now, too, and unlike mal, the familiar is unfamiliar and more than a little lonely.

Despite being by all appearances an adult, Mal was certainly lacking in maturity.  By a lot.  He would win no awards for his behavior, his thoughtfulness or how kind he was for others.  He knew how to misbehave and yell, but that was about it.  There's also the fact that his hatred of basically everyone at Elysium meant he had no idea what a proper relationship looked like, but that would be putting the cart about a mile before the horse.

So, being a self-centered twit, he continued to keep things all about himself.  Yeah, right. If my sisters wouldn't even stick around, why would you? he hissed, stalking away at a faster clip now, not really waiting for a reply unless Okeanos really wanted to try.  Mal was very good at not listening, and excelled at feeling sorry for himself.