Barrow Fields a victim of love rather than hate

the sea could barely be heard from his place on the fields. the sound of his own heart pounding in his ears was enough to drown out any external noise. the painful seizing of his heart was the only thing that continued to move his limbs forward and away from the sound – away from his home. before, it had been different. he had been lost from his family due to no fault of his own. this time, he had made the willing decision to leave. what more could he do? when all he felt was that his presence there had caused turmoil and pain for those around him, there was nothing else left to do but to leave.
 
when he had put enough distance between himself and the borders of rusalka, illidan finally turned to look back over his shoulders and toward his home, or more accurately what had been his home. he did not realize that he had left cadeau behind yet. when he did, he would find himself seized again by the quick pain in his chest. he did not deserve her, either. her friendship would have been better suited for anyone else – anyone who could truly appreciate it.
 
illidan turned away and continued to move forward, stretching the distance between himself and the towering cliffs that guarded the sound. each step was a force within him that seemed to shake him to his core, but the ghost knew that he could not stop. so, he set his mind to search for his mother and sister. though he did not know what he would do once he found them, he did not know where else he could go.

he had wandered away again, except instead of going back to the place with the glowing bugs, the place where he'd broken down before, he went a different direction. no one was going to look for him. ziggy and lana had new friends, better friends. they didn't understand him, and cam didn't have the presence of mind to realize that he was shutting others out, not the other way around.

the slender dark youngster carried on across the field; the distant murmur, like someone whispering right in your ear, intrigued him. it was only when he spotted the other wolf that he came to a halt and stared at him silently for a few long moments, perplexed.

had he been better at reading expressions, cam would have noticed the sadness and pain etched into the man's features. as it was, he was more drawn to the strange pattern of the pelt—a black head, but a very pale body, unlike anything he'd seen before. the man looked like a wolf otherwise, but perhaps he was something else entirely. something of even more intrigue than the distant murmur.

there was only one way to find out. cam plodded toward the stranger, chin lifted as he shot the other a curious but ultimately suspicious gaze and intoned, pitching his voice over the wind, are you a wolf?

his mind was occupied with far too many things to have noticed the dark shape of the stranger that approached him. it was not until the youthful shadow spoke that illidan froze in his tracks and turned around to face the one who had spoken to him. it took several moments for the trance to fade away from his vision, but when he did latch his sights on the dark young man, he was more surprised by the age of him than anything. illidan had only just passed into his first year, but his body and soul felt as though they had aged through lifetimes. he wondered what he had looked like at four months of age – at two. the thought had been a pleasant one, at first. it quickly faded to how his childhood had been spent and all that had come after.
 
the question that had been pitched to him had been one that took him aback. his head reeled just slightly, and his ears swung backward before cupping back to the dark stranger. he thought to look at himself, as though the question had caused him simply to not be a wolf because it had been asked. he knew his blood, though. “yes. do i not look it?” he responded in a haggard tone and then inquired in the same breath.
 
something about cam being out there on his own, made illidan wonder where his home was. he wondered whether the young figure had intended to venture out that way. he wondered if the boy’s parents were battling with worry as they searched for him. all of these thoughts seemed to flash through his mind in an instant and he was forced to exit that train of thought. the young man had moved with enough confidence that he seemed to know his place out there. at least, illidan could only hope.

ah. that made more sense. he hadn't necessarily expected the second question, though, and he pursed his lips, trying to think of how to describe why he'd set off such confusion in cam's mind. at least he was a wolf, though. cam knew how to deal with those. sort of.

your head is weird, he finally offered, a cryptic little nugget of observation. it doesn't look like the rest of you. he lifted his chin, then twisted his head to nose at his flanks in illustration, looking back at the man with a shrug. see? i'm all dark. you're not.

every other wolf seemed to match. why didn't this one match? what made him so special? whatever it was, cam was more than intrigued.

‘your head is weird,’ the young child claimed in a matter-of-fact tone. illidan could not help the ghostly smirk that creased his dark lips. as sullen as he was, there was something grounding about having a complete stranger tell you that you looked weird. it did not offend him in any way, but it certainly cast a warm sensation of amusement that seemed to butterfly in his stomach before being set free by the rest of what the pup had to say.
 
he was right; illidan was an oddity, just as his mother was. the ghost had never happened upon anyone else who carried the same coloration pattern as they did. while it was a unique thing, he wasn’t certain that it was worth celebrating or condemning. it was just how they were. there were plenty of other things that made him weird, after all.
 
“you’re right. you know, my mother looks the same way that i do. sometimes it’s okay to be different from others. sometimes, you can’t always help it,” illidan remarked to the shadow of a youth. then, the hawkish gaze of the wildling latched onto the youthful features of the boy across from him. “i have a friend who looks even stranger than i do. she’s red with a creamy shape on her forehead and a coat that looks nothing like i’ve ever seen before. are all the wolves in your pack like you?”

joy seized cam's heart as illidan mentioned his resemblance to his own mother, followed by a crushing wave of grief, painful in its intensity. his face crumpled, even as his natural sense of curiosity struggled to take in each and every word. at the question, he shook his head, swiping a small, pink tongue along his jowls.

i look like my mummy, too, he explained, pride evident on his features. but daddy is light brown, 'n so is lana, 'n ziggy is white, but they've got black noses like me, and now he was rambling in earnest now, unable to stem the tide of words. he normally wasn't so chatty; something in the man's easy nature had brought it out of him.

he looked up at the wolf, tail wagging, the sadness from before temporarily forgotten. i'm cam, he added, feeling as if that might be helpful for the stranger to know.

i really hate that this waited so long and i know you made a reply about closing it out, but...... i really love cam and i would like to continue this on for a few more replies if you are able to swing it? i know it's a ways back... so if you'd rather we archive, that's totally fine with me too. <3

the younger boy admitted that he shared similarities with his own mother and that his father was different – more like two other names that were mentioned – and all illidan could do was nod in response. there was a certain openness to this child. it was almost shocking how willingly he had approached and how dangerous it could have been if the rusalkan ghost had been more violent of a soul. fate may have realized just how fortunate their meeting was, however.
 
“sounds like you’re all just a little different, but you’re still a family,” he spoke softly, a ghostly smile lingering on the edges of his lips. “now, what about your eyes? do your mom and dad have green eyes too?” illidan then inquired of the child. he was curious to know if that was something that was left up to genetics, or if it had happened all by chance. no matter the reason for it, the ghost was positive that he had never seen such glittering green gems.
 
’cam.’
 
the name was fitting. illidan bowed his head several inches, ears cupped forward atop his dark crown. “i’m called illidan. it’s very nice to meet you, cam.” and it was, at least in that moment. it was nice to have found someone who did not require illidan to be something other than what he was.