Fox's Glade White Shadows

Korei had been rather quiet since her and Alarian's recent talks of her past. She wanted to curl up and hide, forget he ever heard about any of it. She wanted to start anew, forget it all...but it just kept coming back. Following her, shadowing her. And she hated it, she hated her past. Hated the pain that came with it and something that came up in her mind...

What if she was wrong? What if it was wrong to leave...what if she would have been happy? She began to doubt...and it was ripping at her inside. And it showed outside, through sadness and quiet. 

@Alarian

He's noticed that Korei has become solemn lately, quiet — he just doesn't really know what to say. Maybe he doesn't have the energy to say anything. Maybe he's tired of caring —
Okay, that's not quite true; he'd love to find some kind of dial controlling the amount of fucks he gives out on a daily basis and spin it all the way to 0, but life never likes to work so conveniently. He still cares, but it feels like he knows too well what she's going through — how long had his past followed him around? And in the end, he hadn't even outrun it as he'd wanted to — he'd simply burned it all to the ground. So, he's a little wary of trying to offer Korei any sort of advice or comfort, lest he burn her life to ashes, too.
Or maybe he already has, and that's why he finds himself seeking her out. When he finally spots her, he doesn't say anything, but he draws nearer to her with a soft chuff. It's not difficult to sense the melancholy surrounding her — but he's still at a loss, so he only takes a breath and settles on his haunches about a foot away from her.

Korei Julia sighed, feeling the crisp air blow across her fur, and she closed her eyes as she took a deep breath. She hears his chuff, but says nothing. Just staying silent. She still feels safe in his presence, she always had and always would. But it just felt different the tone in the air. And then she hears his breath, and sighs again.

"I shouldn't have been like that...I...I cut you off like that...I shouldn't have" she said, still with her gaze away from him. "My family just seems to keep coming back in my mind..."

He's not sure what he'd expected — but as usual, he finds this isn't it. He resists the urge to interrupt her, only shifting a little uncomfortably as she speaks. No, it's okay, I — He starts when she finishes speaking, exhaling through his nose briefly as he cuts himself off. I know I'm not always the easiest to talk to — and I know what it's like to... want to forget. I shouldn't have pushed you.
He pauses, gaze flitting briefly to the ground before it returns to Korei. For a long time, I had to deal with the same thing — memories of my family, everything I lost and left behind. I just... kept running. I never looked back — until I met you. And Lennon, his mind adds cruelly, forcing him to pause and swallow hard past the lump suddenly nestled in his throat. I've always seen a lot of myself in you, but — you're stronger, in a lot of ways. You've grown so much since we met, and you've dealt with the ghosts of your past better than I ever dealt with mine. I just — I worry anyway. I know what it's like to feel that way, and what it can drive someone to do. I just don't want to see you hurt.

Korei Julia still did not look back to him, her tail still as the air turned cold. Or was it just her imagining so? She didn't know. She didn't know many things now. Where they were going, if it was right to leave Moonspear, if it was right to just let things pass by rather than facing them. Korei sighed, she wanted to cry and say that she should not have kept secrets...but for once, she also knew he was right. Pushing her had forced her to drive Alarian away, ward him off. 

"I'm not strong...I ran" she let out a quiet whine. "You heard my...my sister. They hate me now...but maybe if I stayed" she began to sob quietly, trying to hide it. "I'm not strong..."

His chest tightens at her denial, and further when the tears start. For several beats, he's frozen, uncertain what to say or do — it seems he can only make things worse. But he has to try to help, right?
So he moves to press his nose tentatively to Korei's cheek if the gesture is allowed, only lingering briefly. He takes a breath as he pulls away, thoughts still scattered by the sound of her sobs. Korei — listen, He urges her gently, voice barely a murmur. Sometimes... sometimes a situation just isn't good for you. And — maybe it feels like you owed it to your family to stay, to try to make them happy. But you don't. Not at the expense of your own happiness.
You never left the Sanctuary, even when Lennon left — even when the cats came and everyone got sick. You've always been a loyal friend. Probably too loyal, He continues, nudging her affectionately with his nose in hopes of cheering her up. So I think you're strong for leaving your family. You weren't happy there — and no one is worth being miserable forever.
It's why Zamael had left him, and why he'd left the Sanctuary; it's why he'll never let any who share his blood back into his life, no matter how much it hurts. It's why he won't let Korei hate herself for making the decision she did. It's the one type of selfishness he can embrace in himself — finally.

Korei managed a small smile at the touch to her cheek. Almost instantly her crying sobs were gone, just the sniffling remained. But so did the smile, as he spoke in a murmur. He always somehow managed that, to bring a warmth to her heart. And make her smile, whether he was down himself or not. But as soon as he mentioned Lennon, her smile was gone and she sighed loudly. Her head resting at her paws.

"But was it right? To leave them? We were all grieving and I...you heard what she said." Korei had made it all so much worse in leaving. Disappearing, without even a trace...And what if her sister told the others? What if they came looking?

He sucks in a breath at her questioning, pausing a beat before he can draw up an answer for her. My family was grieving when I left them, He admits softly; he's not proud of it, but he can't change the past now. They'd already lost my father and my brother. But there's... really no good time to leave someone, I think. His mind flashes to Zamael, to Delight, and his chest aches for both of them.
We can't change the past anyway, He continues, trying to ignore the way the words twist in his guts like a knife. It's the truth, so he doesn't know why it hurts to say it. All we can do is try to move forward — it doesn't matter anymore if the things we did back then were right or wrong. It's done now.

Korei felt sad as he spoke. Really, she barey knew Alarian herself. Besides some things told to her from him, here and there. But still, it tugged at her heart. It hurt that she had left, but his words eased her...and only made her hurt for him for than herself. Korei waited until he was done, and then pushed her head up against his chin and sighed. That made her feel all warm inside, and safe.

"It is...it's done now. In the past..." she murmured quietly. And they were going to move on from it all now.

He's a little startled when Korei moves closer, tucking her head under his chin, but surprise quickly melts away into something far more foreign to him. There's a light, golden warmth blooming in his chest; a pleasant heat that reminds him of home and happy memories. He closes his eyes and takes a slow breath, leaning into the touch.
I love you, He murmurs, barely above a whisper. They're alone anyway, but these words are only for her — the bravest girl he's ever met, the only wolf to follow him into the fires of his self-destruction and come out relatively unscathed. Maybe there's something in their mutual sin, their shared story of abandonment; a companionship found only among wolves with the word run etched into their weary splintered souls.

Korei Julia hummed happily against him, her eyes gently closed as she rested under his chin...then he said something. Something made her heart flutter inside her heart, a warm feeling surging through her. And she sighed happily now, still under his chin. She opened her eyes for a moment. "I...I love you too, Alarian...I love you too."

Korei lifted her muzzle to his chin, delivering a light lick at his fur. "I will go anywhere with you...I am always safe by you...thank you, Alarian."