Northstar Vale girl, you knock me out

@Andraste

the chaos of the past week left bhediya with no recollection of her own promise. she'd told her friend that she would come to visit, but how long had it been since? the sun was preparing to set, but there was enough light to make the detour to courtfall. 

once at the border, she gave a short howl — andy, i'm here! — before taking a few apprehensive steps over the border. she figured that the consequences to this decision would be negligible, given her status within uaine gorsedd, but walked in slight submission nonetheless.

Respite; relief is found in the summons;
it is a reprieve from mulling over mideve dreams when not ensnared within the waking hours; when the infuriating quiver within thighs did not ail her. Yet! she had awoken disheveled, delirious, with fulsome feeling and lungs arid; tongue muted and chords strummed entirely of their own sanity, naming no name of
that corsair  (valiance)
the creature  (vainglory)
her cheiftan  (virtuous)
bridesmark to burn and stormcloak to singe. To wish to want to wail—
and from the lotuslake she now strides ashamed agitated! Addled, angered!
means nothing nothing not a thing no one thing
and though eventually come to drape her neck down 'round the little inkling's shoulders with nothing short of amiable greeting, the fée indeed remembers only now the druid's promise;
halfsights sought the so-aforementioned companion, voice a bit thinned, airy,  "Ze rest of your season passed without trouble, then?"

andraste's embrace was appreciated. bhediya stepped away and turned to face her companion, noting the red mark on her throat. what happened? she asked, deciding that she would use the topic to avoid discussing her heat. it had been some time since the altercation on the mount, but she still felt uneasy having it brough up in conversation. 

she continued to stroll deeper into the territory, taking into account the scenery that had previously gone unnoticed. i have news, the seraph said. she eventually stopped walking to sit beneath the canopy, hoping that andy would do the same.

Beneath flurryless boughs did they rest;
and for several heartbeats, the sibyl's enquiry went unanswered, for Andraste flushed deep beneath the translucency of her frore-hide for the very origins of her novel scarification; both anticipating and dreading the possible arrival of her beloved. She had whined with the wanting in her own awakening  (he had not been there!)  and though not as feverish as those first few hours, still looked 'round the winteryland with a timid eye:

"It is ze bridesmark. My– we have wed. H-him and I,"
the male she had so mortifyingly blathered of to Bhediya;
​who had news for the distracted dryad; and so looked upon her with a brow writ with willingness to listen as much as she might.

that's wonderful news! bhediya exclaimed. the news of andraste's wedding was more exciting than the anything that she had to say. her tail thumped behind her as she awaited the details. when did it happen? she asked, and how? can i meet him? the mountain could wait; if allowed, bhe would not have been opposed to spending the night in the vale.

the expectant look on andy's face let bhe know that it was her turn to share. i left uaine gorsedd, she explained, looking away from her companion's silver gaze, i'm founding a new settlement, in the lair where we first met. their home was modest, but she was confident that it would grow with time.

She was wilting under the weight of her own blooming, now—
“I, ah– there was this great elk that I chanced upon, ze eve before. I had made a concoction to help mark my way for later, as I suppose I'd, well, perhaps hunt all ze same. It was a boon, though, this, this elk, you understands, and so I could not simply watch him waltz away from my realm. S-so, well, I pursued, and returned to our chamber only to wake him  –  @Melkor, you see  –  and it was as a hunt. We downed our quarry ... and, I ... well, hoped he might say my haven's vows. He did, and, ah, he gave me my bridesmark, and I his. And ... and, then, we ... ”
—a worse liar than the jailbird, she. Andraste promptly brims at the seams with the blush of it all as she found herself stuttering soon into silence of details that, more oft than not, she would not have a care of delving into.

But now, she very much feared that the call for Arórëlen would be anything other than a howl.

Affrighted that he might have heard, might lurk within the gloaming—! For now for now for now, she clumsily concludes herself with a funny, pale-throated  "We brought our find back down from ze spires,"  and took pointed interest now in Bhediya's own endeavors;
departed from Uaine and instead for the Lair, wherein the two had first come to be acquainted with another. Good;
let the better souls remove the stained mem'ry from within those green depths. 

​"When your claim has surer footing,"  she muses, mulling,  "perhaps, in time, we might establish a trade route?"

the whispers shared between the pair brought forth a quiet giggle. the events following the climax (or preceding?) could be easily inferred, so bhediya did not push for further explanation. i'm happy for you, she said. with one paw, raven reached to comb once through the fur lining her companion's shoulder. 

she nodded in agreeance to andraste's proposal. i'm hoping that it doesn't take too long, she sighed, staring down at the loose skin lining her stomach, i'd like to give birth there. while never a mother in the proper sense, bhediya had been pregnant twice before. even without the physical symptoms, she knew by empyrea's assurance that this would be her third.

how's courtfall been? the seraph asked. they were friends, but their relationship had to retain some sort of professionalism. bhediya knelt down to preen the fur on her thigh while awaiting andy's response.

However it had happened for Bhediya, it was not her place to assume how such had come about; the silver only found herself murmuring in her own manner of agreement. The deep flush from moments before began to ebb with the arrival of something solemn and resigned that had her quieting in the midst of the shade's grooming  —  bah!

"After I was felled by ze sky, I set myself on ze path of creating Courtfall. I left ze family who I no longer held faith for in ze finding of me."  Wavering, faintly,  "I left my children. Banished myself of them. My son, anguished. My daughter, angered. I could no longer look at them ze way I once had—
if I am to live, then I will live with all that which I may do each day. I do not expect forgiveness. I do not deserve to be married. I do not deserve to be a mother. I did not ever believe I would return to it,"  drawn, rubied brow; exhausted eyes. Exhausted,  "but if this is some ... second chance, in ze form of my Court, of Melkor ... I will not wander. I will not wish for 'easy,' for much in life is not so. And yet, even as I will quicken,"  tearing, thoroughly withered,  "I must kill ze thing within me that I cannot trust. Ze part of myself that knows where they are, and begs of me to go and find them. That I should still have stayed where I had been struck down. That I should have awaited for my Dragomir,"  saltglint, sorrowstain,  "my Isilmë. That all I have done—"

But they flourished now, she could fathom, beneath the wing of one who  (for all of her crass avaricity)  was more of a mother in a day than then-Aurëwen had been in an hour. Well-guarded; mending with mother Moonspire.

And it would be the same for the fowl.

Snuffling, sniffling; sentimental, stupidly; she rubs at the ruination of her features, all rickety and glaring and resolute into the gloaming.  "I will be better, with what I have made here, and with whom. I must."

and then andraste was weeping, just as she had before. bhediya didn't know what she'd said that'd triggered such an episode, but thought that she would have to be more careful with her words. where is all of this coming from? she asked, wondering if the emotions being shared now had any collection to those shared before, you don't seem like yourself.

she realized then that neither really knew much about the other. maybe this woman was andraste's true self, and bhediya just hadn't been trusted enough before to see it. 

yeah, she added, assuming her companion was finished, you've got to work on moving on, andy, from whatever is bothering you so much. there seemed to be a world of torment hidden in the blanchard's past, and while curious, bhe would not ask for further detail unless prompted to do so.

"There are days when I forgive myself. Days where I wake and look into his face and can look forward to ze new life and ze new lives that will come of us. And then,"  a weighty sign, anchoring into the bedrock of all that had become her refoundation,  "there are days like this. Where I can only think of ze past, and wish to only say, 'for all I have failed you, you will always find a place by my side.'"  If ever they should want it. Need it.  "I left behind motherhood in order to create this ... what-ever it is that my Court will become. Now that I seek to try my paw at it again, I ..."

A helpless shake of head:  "I do not mean to burden you so. There is much that perhaps has gone on within your own life, and ... I do not wish to stifle it with my tears. Forgive me, Bees."  Eyes a bit red and saltsore; a thin smile as she looks to the inkling herself. If she meant to better herself each day, and move on well and truly from the woes of Aurëwen, then it must not be spent with forays to all manner of her heart's ... myriad sorrows of love.  "Tell me more of this pack of yours, if you wish, or ... ?"

it's not..., bhediya began, it's not a burden, andy. i just don't understand where it came from. that question had still gone unanswered. she would always be there for her friend when the need presented itself, but she needed to see the root of the problem before trying to help.

and andraste was right; bhe did have her own collection of problems, all simultaneously rising to its peak. she drew in a deep breath and tried to forget them, figuring that andraste wouldn't want to be burdened with worries for her companion.

the seraph looked up at her friend with a sheepish gaze. the pack, our numbers are slowly growing, she announced with newfound pride, and it's a good group. i think that you'd like them.

all of my posts in this thread r sponsered by no braincells

Andraste had no answer as to her outburst's origins, herself;
perhaps it was only some horrid habit of self-depreciation, bidden by a wish to be as honest with all as she might possibly be and continually borne upon the ideals that  (as aforementioned on the Mount with this very same halfling)  she was an unworthy recipient to such affections that came with marriage and such allowances that came with bearing children.

And perhaps she was only deserving of either if each day she strove to better her person in the way she so meant to exact.

A sigh, in the silence; a smile, for Bhediya's admittance:  "That is fortunate,"  a tip of scarred brow.  "I am thinking I will like them, as well. It is late, howe'er,"  rising now, rolling the weighted ache of sorrows from shoulders as she appraised the inkwell with rabbitsoft eyes.  "You are more than welcome to rest within our Court, if you would like?"

Perhaps a hollow might be found near Cuivénen, warmed by the steamed earth below and above.