Hideaway Strath we don't know when to quit no no

As moving day got closer, Charles felt anxiety rise in him. He still wasn't really a full-fledged part of Lotus' life, just bringing food for @Nyra sometimes (though it was necessary less and less) and sometimes bringing @Lotus something to chew on (mostly sticks). He didn't really know how to be a bigger part of her life. He didn't know how to be a father, and it was painfully obvious with every passing day. Would it just be the same? Would she even know that he was her father? When he thought of Lotus he did feel the desire to be there for her, he did have feelings like how he imagined a father must feel... but he didn't know what to do with them.

Today Charles was tracking @Whrist's scent, because he had noticed that at the meeting about the Archangels, Whrist hadn't said anything. Did she consider staying here? She was totally coming with him, right? They were friends, and she also had that weird thing with Nyra (he guessed that they were just like, really good friends or something). He just needed to get a confirmation that she'd come along right now. In a time where the ground was unsteady under his feet, he really needed to be sure of at least one thing good in his life.

I missed this, I’m so sorry this past month has been hell and a half. I’m back now. If you don’t want to continue with this one let me know we can do another

The clouds flowed through the blue sky like bumble bees through a field of flowers. Whrist lay on her back her font paws tucked up against her chest, Her light white blue eyes watched the clouds flow past her looking for shapes, she sighed softly. She didn’t want to leave Kynareth Deagon of the Abbey however she didn’t want to lose either Nyra or Charles.

Whrist opened her maw, yawned and stretched then closed her eyes for a nap. The sun warmed her black fur of her belly and made it shimmer almost blue. Her ears twitched as someone approached however she didn’t open her eyes as she wolf napped, if they wanted her attention they'd have bug her for it.

no problem! we can keep this one <3

When he happened upon Whrist it looked like she was asleep. Charles called out, Hey. as he approached her, figuring that ought to wake her up. It was a bit easier to approach her this way, anyway. Charles sat down beside Whrist and he sighed once, then decided to just start talking.

Was thinking about going away when Nyra and Lotus do. It will be different from here. You're coming along, yeah? He said it as if it was a statement, although there was a small beacon of insecurity shining in his words, in the way he said 'yeah'. He really needed her to just say yes right now, whether it was in a sleepy mumble or a genuine response.

Lazily she opened her white blues the color such a stark contrast from her face, she shifted her head to look toward Charles, her expression softening into one of delight and her tail swaying a few times before resting loosely upon the ground again. She enjoyed seeing him and felt so relaxed around him she did not bother to sit up but rather remained on her back looking up at him. Delighting in the splashes of color in his coat and the shapes they made. She imagined the white in his pelt like the clouds in the sky and suddenly she wanted to touch it. Unable to resist she shifted her whole body just a bit closer to him and rested her cheek against his leg stifling a… was that a giggle? She didn’t giggle… instead she exhaled watching the fur of his leg shift.

His words however brought reality crashing down and her eyes slid closed, her smile faded, she even seemed to deflate a little as her breath caught in her throat. “I …. Can’t …” She almost whined the second word but managed to choke it instead. She buried her forehead against his leg in an attempt to hide her face as she squeezed her eyes tighter.

Would he just up and walk away right now? If he did he’d rip out a piece of her heart. It took all her self control not to sob aloud, though she felt like her heart was cracking in two somehow. Her mind flitted to the moment she learned Kynareth Deagon had a wife, and how much that had almost broken her but very quickly she had learn that he could still make her feel special despite the fact he had a ‘wife’ and why lately had she been comparing Charles to Kynareth; until this very moment she hadn’t realized her feelings for Charles ran as deep for him and her feelings for Kynareth did. Could she somehow keep both of them?

“Please” she whispered  whether she was begging him to stop talking, begging him to stay, begging him to go and not hurt her anymore, she was not sure but the word slipped out away

Charles was surprised and caught off-guard a little when Whrist suddenly touched him. He shouldn't be, perhaps; she was like that. He knew they were just very different on the touch spectrum. Charles managed not to startle too hard, but his muscles stiffened at the touch nonetheless, despite the clear positive intent. He wasn't sure he'd ever get used to being touched by anyone, in any way, without feeling as though there might be something bad about to happen to him; that he would get hurt by them.

His words seemed to draw all of her giggly bubbly positivity out of the room, though. Can't what? Charles asked her, not instantly realising that she was saying 'no' to his rhetorical question. He clearly wasn't getting whatever was up here, and he stared at Whrist in apparent confusion.

After a moment she said please which only confused the coywolf further. Charles frowned, feeling totally uncomfortable (he wasn't very good at talking about feelings) and decided to just keep sort of sitting there next to Whrist, tense, and waiting for the moment to pass. He didn't really want to be in any sort of emotional situation, really. He just wanted to have fun. And he wanted — needed — Whrist to come with him to the Archangels. Saying that seemed to be what got him into this situation though, and so, even though he needed her to say that she would, Charles shut up about it for now, hoping that would make this moment of uncomfortable emotion just pass and glide away like the clouds in the sky.

If she told him the truth would he stay with her? She needed him to stay, she hadn’t felt so relaxed or happy in a long time. White blues slid open slowly to look up at him, She wanted to take his leg in her maw and hold him though this she knew would send him over the edge. She would be content with the contact between her cheek and his leg, it was much but it was enough. She looked up at him, her pink tongue slipped between her lips and laved across her nares nervously.

Heart pounding so loudly she thought he might hear it, she swallowed before asking softly “I can’t leave … Will you stay…. Here… with Me … and Kynareth Deagon…” Her breath caught in her throat, her eyes pleading. They had been nothing more then friends thus far and she had enjoyed every moment of it. So why did it seem her heart was to be laid out just for him, just for Charles, and his next words might determine the fate of her poor battered organ. Whrist knew not to open her heart not like this yet here it was and for some reason she couldn’t help it.

I can't leave. The words were pretty much the worst that he could've gotten. Charles didn't understand it at all. What did she have to live for right here? Why couldn't she leave? What was more important than her friendship to him, anyway? He felt a mix of emotions — anger that she would put other things above him and try to force him to stay, guilt for being so angry at her, sadness that she would stay behind — as she asked him to stay right here with her. And Kynareth.

Wait, why was she dragging Kynareth Deagon into this? Charles was distracted from the whirlwind of emotions by this and quite suddenly asked, What you mean? Why would I stay for Kynareth? He sounded defensive, guarded, maybe even a bit angry at the insinuation, and he was all of those things. He didn't want anyone to think he was into dudes. That stuff was just plain unnatural. He definitely didn't want Whrist, practically his only friend in this place, to think that about him.

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Whrist rolled onto her belly but remained laying down she didn’t want to crowd Charles or overwhelm him. She found it was rather easy to do that to him and she planned to make an effort to not do that to him if she could help herself. She did however seek to make eye contact, her white blue’s to his yellow ambers.

Her voice cracked as she Fumbled for word “He…” Whrist grit her teeth, She was never really good with them “He’s…” At a loss again her mind wandered,  Dammit, Whrist was a greedy bitch and she knew it, but how could she tell him she wanted them both, she wanted to keep him forever, and if she could not could she have a memory that would keep her warm, make her travel to visit him more often.

Should she just say it? She as usual couldn’t help herself she rarely denied herself what she wanted. She blurted out loud without looking away “I want you, and I want @Kynareth Deagon.”

“I want you both… together.” She paused Her voice became slightly husky, and quieter

“ Here.” She continued softly

“With me”  She wanted to look away but she didn’t want her intent to be misconstrued this was to important to her.

Her breathing slowed and hitched, Would he even consider such a thing? Was she a fool for wanting it. Did she just loose Charles forever in her attempt to keep him? Her eyes pleaded with him, bearing her soul to him, her fears, her desires, her needs. Her head began to swim from lack of air yet she couldn’t find the strength to breath, not yet.

It seemed like things were always difficult with Whrist. Like there were always things on her mind that she wanted to spill. The biggest difference between her and Charles was that he had plenty of things on his mind, but he kept them safely locked up inside. Life was a lot easier that way. In a way he resented Whrist for spilling her guts to him: partly because it made his life more complicated than continuing to live in pretend-world, and perhaps partly because he resented that she was brave enough to speak her truest self, to speak her heart, where he could not.

It would've been easy enough to pretend that he didn't know what she was talking about, if not for the sultry way she spoke to him. Charles honestly didn't really get why she wanted him. Especially why she wanted him and.. Kynareth?? Kynareth Deagon was the hottest guy in the pack, if not the Teekon Wilds, so honestly Charles didn't understand what she then needed him for. He wondered if she was playing a prank on him. If the whole goal of this confession was to laugh in his face. He pictured two years from now they'd meet up and she'd laugh about that one time he thought he could measure up to Kynareth Deagon.

She wanted them both — together? This was getting weirder and weirder. Here. With her. Her voice suggested what her words were leaving out quite nicely. His mouth felt dry. The thought of doing Whrist was kind of weird because she was also his friend. The only woman he'd ever been with was Nyra, and it wasn't really a pleasant sort of thing. Whrist... Did she want children, too? Or was this really just 'for fun'? Charles found it hard to imagine why anyone would want to do that for fun, and honestly, he wasn't too sure he could even do it with the absence of the alluring scent. And what would Kynareth's role in this be? Heck, what even would his own be?

What do you mean? Charles asked, his voice pitching a little as he tried to piece everything together. He looked guarded, though he didn't move away. Like... What do you... Want to — I just don't really understand what — He swallowed thickly, his mouth dry. Then he said, his voice defensive: I'm not into dudes.