Ouroboros Spine hey there, it's all gonna be fine

@Raindrop when you have time!

It'd been hard to make space alongside his grief, and time alongside his regular duties. He'd been an automaton for months, now, just doing his best to help the pack carry on. And, the thing was, he knew there was more that he could be doing. He could find a moment to hunt with Arrluk, or he could find a few kind words for Ajei, or he could try and learn to work with pelts so that Vairë could sleep on something new.

He could do those things, but sometimes, he felt like he couldn't. Most of the time, to be very honest. He felt tired and frozen and sad, and even knowing many others felt the same or worse, Valiant struggled to step up and help.

Today, though — he was taking a small step. He meandered along a seldom-used path between Vairë's ulaq and Raindrop's den. He'd seen a couple of her kids around, and even the woman herself from time to time, but it'd been months since he'd had a proper conversation with her. With anyone, really. His stilted chat with White Elk had reminded him of that.

So he was seeking out a friend. And he thought — well, maybe they'd hunt. Or maybe he'd ask her about pelts. Maybe they could go fishing, just for old time's sake.

"Rain?" he called out as he approached, not wanting to startle one of her girls by getting too close.

Raindrop had been cleaning the den, as she often did. She kept herself busy, which helped take her mind off of the recent tragedy that had struck Moonglow. She did not know Moonwoman well, but she was someone of importance to Raindrop. Kukutux had taught her so much. Raindrop couldn't imagine the pain that those close to her felt. It made Raindrop remember how blessed she was to have her family, even though some of them were off on a journey. Sumac had taken Pine along with him to look for his brothers. Pine made the choice to go with her father. Raindrop knew Sumac would keep her safe.

When an old friend approached her den, she jumped, just a little. It had been so quiet, especially when the children are out and about. She turned around, a welcoming smile on her face. That smile grew though, when she saw it was Valiant. She trotted forward, her tail swinging. "Valiant, it's so good to see you." "The girls are out exploring, so I've been tidying up the den." She didn't want to mention what had happened, at least not yet. She didn't want to make him uncomfortable. "How are you? How are Vaire and the children?"

Valiant was sorry to have startled the woman, but he couldn't beat himself up about it too much. It occurred to him only then that Raindrop had never once been anything but happy to see him — and it wasn't that that was rare or anything, but... Well, he just appreciated her. Was glad to have her in his life at a time when he seemed to be hemorrhaging... people in his life.

His kids, mainly.

"Aw, well," he said, trying to remove some of the weight from his voice but still sounding heavy as he went on: "They've all hit the road. Itchy paws run in their blood — they got that from my side, mostly."

Not, he thought, that moonwoman's children tended to stick all in one place. The Nuiruks at least still had a place, and that was more than could be said for the Morningsiders.

Vairë was still dog sick. Valiant didn't feel like talking about that. He neatly dodged the question, saying, "We're doin' as best as we're able to without 'em. Without everyone, seems like. Life goes on."

Now there was sympathy in his eyes. It felt underhanded, turning things back on Raindrop, but it wasn't as though they weren't going through some of the same things. So he figured fair was fair when he asked her, "How you holdin' up?"

Sumac was gone, too, after all. One of those pretty little girls had gone with him. Valiant knew another had recently returned, but shoot — he hadn't seen all four in one place since they were tiny. It had to be hard on a woman like Raindrop, who was a homebody if Valiant had ever saw one.

I’m so sorry that its already been a month. :( I’ve been so busy. Thank you for your patience. :)

He explained that his children had up and flown the nest; and Raindrop realized it was only a matter of time before her children thought of doing the same. Itchy paws ran in her family too. 

“It must be quiet. It has been for us. It seems like only yesterday we had both become parents. You and Vairë, and Sumac and I.” There was melancholy in her voice, and she wore a melancholy smile. She would be lying if she said that Sumac’s absence hadn’t gotten to her sometimes.

“So it does.” She agreed with a gentle nod of her head. 

The question she had asked Valiant had been turned back to her. She didn’t have too much to say; “I’m holding on.” A sigh, “I’m very thankful that Moonglow took us in. It would be harder raising three girls without any support.” 

There was a pause, a moment to breathe, to collect her thoughts. She knew she could be honest with Valiant. Yet she formed her words carefully. “Thank you, for being here, Valiant.” “It’s been hard without Sumac. I just hope he and Pine are safe out there.” “They’re out searching for his family. A couple of them were here in the Teekons last year.” Whether they still were here or not was a mystery.

Valiant smiled thinly. He appreciated Raindrop's words and her steady support, but she was right — things were hard. Things were changing, all the time, and Valiant just wanted to hold on.

"I hope he finds them," he murmured, thinking of his own brief reconnection with Minnow. He didn't want to talk about her, though. Or about Vaïre. The only happy thing left in his life was his kids, and they were all a very distant happy thing.

His kids and Raindrop.

"And I hope they find their way back soon. It's hard with the wolves you love. Hard to be so small in such a big world."

He, too, felt he could say these things to Raindrop. Things about feeling small, and lost, and helpless. It made his throat feel tight, for a moment, but to cry would be just a step too far. He swallowed it down, and then opened a welcoming arm to his old friend. Perhaps to comfort her. Perhaps because no one had held him since Dutch had come to say goodbye.

"I do too." She whispered. It seemed that, no matter what had changed, there was one ever-present thing in her life, at least since she had arrived in this land. And that was Valiant. They had met two years prior, before setting off on their own journeys. Yet, they always found each other at one point or another. Perhaps, something was meant to be. Perhaps he was meant to be in her life, and she in his. But for now, these would only be private thoughts.

"It really is." She replied. And when he offered an embrace, she didn't hesitate to wrap her arms around him. She breathed in his scent, committing it to memory. Tucking it away in a place where she would always know, and remember it.