Ravensblood Forest Now I'm on my way

She was having trouble wrapping her head around all of this. Her self-preservation instincts were urging her to avoid, avoid, avoid as it always did when things got too upsetting, or too confusing, or just too much. Her coping mechanism was to breeze on forward and pretend nothing had happened. It was why she had yet to return to her family and let them know she was okay, despite deciding she would make the trip ages ago. It was why she hardly ever brought up Matty or visited the glacier. And it was what had her wanting to run back home to hide in her forest and in her routines now. 

She stared at him, obviously conflicted. Some of what he said seemed like poor excuses for being shitty neighbors. From what she had learned, it wasn't like anyone had antagonized his pack; it seemed like quite the opposite, yet he smoothly delivered the words as if they were the absolute truth. Had he actually cried? It was hard to imagine him doing so. If it was so upsetting to him, why had he done it in the first place? She understood impulsivity, but this seemed like more than that. 

She didn't know what to do. Part of her wanted to forget it all and close the distance between them to push her face into the fur of his neck. She hated this tension between them. But another part of her grew nauseous at the the thought of being that close to him. How did she know which one to listen to?

I need some time, she finally said, repeating his suggestion. I don't know how to feel or what to think about it. She was woefully ill-equipped for such an overwhelming situation with more far reaching consequences than she could even know.