Otter Creek i'm out of control, living a fictional prose

Phillip, predictably, questions him — but he only shakes his head, moving forward to bury his face in his friend's neck fur. It takes a few moments for those much-hated tears to finally stop. When he breaks the silence, even he doesn't expect the words that tumble from him —
I love you, It's true, isn't it? Yet hearing his own voice makes his heart twist, fills his insides with ice and lead. He hadn't meant to say it. Not yet. He pulls away abruptly, turning so Phillip can't see the way the tears instantly rush back to his eyes. I — fuck, I didn't mean to say that. I'm sorry. It's stupid, isn't it? You're — you're so sweet and perfect, and I'm just this fucked up mess, and I shouldn't even be having these feelings — He cuts himself off, swallowing, thinking of Kratos. He just can't stop fucking up, can he?