Mount Apikuni 'cause loving and hating are one and the same

The build-up has been so painfully slow, like a bad day that only gets worse; like waking up from a nightmare on the wrong side of the bed only to find that you've forgotten to do your laundry, misplaced your keys, and finally — finally, when you're about to get out the door, you remember — you were supposed to be at work an hour early this morning.
That's where Zephyr is at, but a hundred times worse. Death and injury and emotional trauma — that's been his week. And now this — this emotional rollercoaster he doesn't have the time or energy or patience for, not now and maybe not ever. Fuck this. Stop it, Tears fill his eyes, voice coming out half a whine, and he hates it. Stop — pretending to care about me if you don't really mean it. No one ever does — not even my own mom — and I'm so tired of getting my hopes up... His voice breaks on the last sentence, dissolving into a sob. His hind legs fold suddenly beneath him, and he falls back onto his haunches, head dipping as he tries to control his sudden hysteria. It doesn't work.