Blackfeather Woods When I wake up, I'm afraid

Her words soften him, and the agreement finalizes the reality of the situation in his mind. It'd been easy to put his feelings aside while he talked to Rowan, and then Takiyok, thinking aloud and putting everything else on hold while they worked out the specifics of their arrangement. In the moment it had only been a task that had needed completing, a business transaction, same as the rest — but now, it feels real. Taikon is going to have children in his forest. Taikon is going to embrace Takiyok the way he'd embraced him, except it will be different, because Takiyok isn't broken. Takiyok is a woman, a mother, a wife — everything that Zephyr was meant to be, and never wanted. He still doesn't want it — but he wants Taikon, or even someone like him. Someone full of thoughts about the world, about people, about how he can help and how things might be better. He's learning that it will never happen. Men like Taikon want women and children, and Zephyr's feelings do not matter in this.
What matters is the safety of the pack, the greater good for all of them. He thinks of Phillip, then, and Rowan and his family — and even little Taktuq, stranger that she is to him. This decision affects them all. And being bitter would not bring Taikon back to him anyway; it would only drive the pair away, and leave the pack worse off for it. There is only one good path forward, despite the hurt it brings him. His own feelings cannot be a factor anymore, not if he's going to keep the peace for those he loves. This is what it means to be a protector.
He nods, stifling his bitterness in favor of a businesslike demeanor. We have a deal, then, if Taikon agrees, He says, as toneless as ever. Thank you for discussing this with me, Takiyok.