Wheeling Gull Isle Still you give yourself away

John had never stopped praying. John had never forgotten him. He didn't say so forthright, but his words implied it.

An answer to prayer. 

Your mother would be proud.

Was she still around to see it? Why hadn't she come here herself? Maybe it was too much, to see this place again, like it seemed to be for Dinah. Maybe something worse. Tears stung his eyes at the thought of it. Was she still around to see it? He couldn't quite squeeze out the question.

He focused on God.

I know, Simeon said softly, and he remembered when Dinah had returned from the sea with dad, smiling, on her heels, and with trinkets and gifts and news of her new name: Dinah Marina. He remembered where he'd tucked the little piece of petrified wood she'd given him. Safe. Surrendered, on the night he'd descended into the Lion's Den after dad had died and Judah had disappeared.

No one but he knew what had happened down there. No one but he, and God.

I know He hasn't left me. Even when He was silent. Even when it felt like He took much more than He'd gave.

They're here. Dinah, too. And Grandma Towhee, but for how long? Distance had not mended the rift between Kai and Dee, and Simeon did not know if he could choose between either of them now, or if he even wanted to.

No. He knew that.

John, he had so many questions to ask him, so many queries, so much need for wisdom, guidance, direction, help. So much need for someone to lead him. His jaw set, trembled. Same old, same old, go running to the first ears to listen. John, now - but it couldn't be John. It couldn't be Malakai. Couldn't be Dinah. Couldn't be Judah, Gramma, or mom. Not first.

Can you... a long pause. The wind settled. Stillness. A gentle breath. I want to be baptized, then, with more resolve, I want you to baptize me. The thought of water crashing over his head, of fear, filling his lungs. I need this. I need Him, his leg quivered, I'm ready.