Redhawk Caldera Let's go and see the stars, the Milky Way or even Mars.
Brecheliant
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#15
Just when Eljay expected her to stand over them like a statue, like a stalwart guardian who would watch but not interfere in their clumsy interactions, Towhee spoke next, and a lot. She said that Wraen and Arcturus were welcome here -- yeah, but hadn't they left for a reason? Eljay had a feeling, knowing Wraen, that she'd be too stubborn to come back on that -- and that Hydra (Eljay actually had no clue who that even was, that's how little he was involved in all of these politics) had said that she was of no danger to them (wait what? had someone from, presumably, Moonspear been of physical danger to Wraen and Arcturus?? wow, he was sure behind on everything).

Towhee said that it would be a good way to thank them, to stay, even though she wouldn't force Maia into anything. Eljay wasn't sure he wanted Maia to stay just because she felt that she owed him some sort of debt for finding her and patching her up. No, it's okay, she doesn't owe me anything, he hastily interjected to hopefully dispel the words Towhee had cast. He didn't want Maia to think that was what he felt. Even though he would be over the moon to have Maia stay, the last he wanted was for her to stay out of some misplaced feeling of duty.

In true Towhee-fashion, Towhee then left Eljay and Maia to their own devices. Uh, by-- Eljay started to stay, but he realised a moment later that Towhee had already turned around and was leaving, and since she was deaf she literally couldn't hear him anyway. She does that, he said, and he sounded almost as if he was apologising on his leader's behalf with replacement shame, rather than providing an explanation for anything.

Maia looked sad, and Eljay hoped that at least his quick interjection about being owed any debts would cheer her up a little. He frowned, feeling sad for making her sad. He didn't want that. He wished he'd managed to respond happier to the news that she would be picked up by Wraen soon, now. The news had just kinda hit him like a bomb drop, so he hadn't been prepared. Maia said that she would try to get them to move closer and that she wanted to make it work. Look, I.. It's okay, I don't want you to think that you owe us any debts. You don't have to make any choices based on what you feel you owe anyone. Towhee said to me once that... no matter where we lived, we would always be Redhawk, Blackthorn and Firebird. In retrospect, maybe she just meant pack mates, but Eljay liked to think of it in a broader sense. Eljay was silent for a few seconds after that, as he tried to remember where he was going with that point... Right! ... And I don't think that family should charge family anything for helping them out of a dire situation.

Towhee possibly wouldn't agree with him, but Eljay didn't care about that. That was what he thought about this situation, and he thought, honestly, that it was rather unfair of Towhee to charge Maia anything. She'd done plenty for them in her time in the pack, and besides, she was family.

Maia said she wanted both, but what did Eljay want..? Of course he wanted Maia to stay here forever, but he also knew that that wasn't very realistic. He wondered if he could find the courage to come with her and Wraen, but he wasn't sure. Especially after what had happened to Maia... The outdoors was just so dangerous. Without a pack to protect them... He didn't think he wanted to put himself and Weejay through that. Besides, he'd only just moved back to Redhawk Caldera, and he loved being back. He wanted to live here forever, at his parents' den, and raise little baby Blackthorns here and...

... He quickly archived that thought and reminded himself he wasn't going to think about the future too much, and stay a bit more in the now. He didn't want to ruin this. He didn't want to chase Maia away. I... I just want you to be happy, Eljay said, words accompanied by a strained breath. That was his priority number one. And of course he wanted all sorts of things, but that would be something to figure out later. Right now, he didn't want Maia to make any decisions burdened by knowing that he wanted something entirely different. He was too afraid to ruin this, and he was too afraid that Maia would make a decision based on anything but her own feelings.
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RE: Let's go and see the stars, the Milky Way or even Mars. - by Eljay - November 13, 2020, 04:57 AM