Redhawk Caldera if only you knew

set about a day after the lazy afternoons thread.

Eljay had meant to return the rabbit to mommy like she had asked, but he'd been afraid to return home. He had ended up sleeping somewhere under a tree, feeling forlorn and sad to be away from his baby siblings and mommy and daddy. He'd barely gotten any sleep in and after awaking he had found the boy that looked like Peter. Now he had dropped by the cache, only to find the rabbit carcass he was supposed to bring half-eaten by scavengers. Eljay shood away a couple of ravens that were picking at the meat and he grabbed the carcass in his mouth.

With heavy paws he wandered back in the direction of home, afraid that mommy would be upset that he had been gone all night and that she would be upset, like Uncle P was, with his behaviour of late. As he arrived by the den with the ravaged rabbit carcass he chuffed to announce his presence, wondering if daddy @Elwood or mommy @Finley were nearby. He hoped they hadn't gone looking for him. He'd just been afraid they were angry and that's why he hadn't come back right away. Surely one of them was present, what with the pups still young and confined to the den.

Slight PP @Elwood hope u do not mind none

Fin had worried for her son when he hadn't returned home. She'd thought for certain that no matter what emotional struggles her son was experiencing that at least the thought of helping take care of his baby siblings would have drawn him back. In spite of her desire to go after him, they'd decided to allow him some time on his own. It seemed to be perhaps the best thing to do, but still she had barely slept through the night and was up early, listening and watching and waiting for her eldest to come home.

The kids were fussing up a storm when Eljay arrived, but they seemed preoccupied enough with each other for her to slip out when she finally caught his approaching scent. Fin emerged from the den and smiled to see his face, though her nerves caught at the crumpled way he stood at their doorstep. She nudged his temple softly in greeting and placed a kiss upon his nose before sitting back and studying him with concern.

"How you doing, kid?" Fin asked gently.

When mommy emerged, Eljay guiltily looked away and licked his lips submissively. He moved in to lick mommy's chin and then the question came. He wasn't really sure how to answer that, or what information to divulge. He was afraid they'd get mad if he would tell mommy that he'd found Peter back. He was afraid because they thought he was crazy, surely, and he didn't want them to think he was. He wanted to be normal, but he knew that he wasn't. Or was it everyone else that was going crazy? The fact that he couldn't even tell anymore didn't seem like a good sign.

"I dunno, mommy..." he murmured, and he stole a brief glance with mommy before he looked away again. "I think I found Petey... I... He looked like Petey, at least. But you prolly just think I'm crazy, too..." His voice quavered and he took a deep breath to control his emotions.

His words broke her heart, just as did the crumpled posture he took on when facing her. Eljay had made such great improvements since the birth of the firebirds, and even further with his new little siblings. But he seemed now to have reverted to a boy she had not seen for some time - sad, terrified, anxious and miserable.

"You're not crazy, Jay," Fin said gently, "You're just hurting. And when you hurt, it's hard to face the things that are hurting you because it feels like that only makes it worse." She wondered about this wolf that Eljay had found that looked like Peter Pan, but he seemed to understand that his new friend was not literally his old one. She said nothing about it now, but remained vigilant about searching each comment he made just in case it alluded to something more worrisome.

"Facing it though is the only way that you can start to feel better," Fin added after a moment. It was an odd concept, her teaching someone else how to deal with grief when she was clearly no expert in the matter. She had avoided facing what had happened to Hawkin for what, three years? She grimaced slightly and began to hope that Elwood soon would show.

Mommy said that he wasn't going crazy, he was just hurt, but then why did it feel like everyone thought he was? Eljay frowned unhappily while mommy tried to reassure him and said that facing the things that were hurting you was hard, but that it was ultimately the only thing that someone could do.

Eljay bit his lip and looked at mommy, his lip wobbling a bit as he asked, frightened and pained: "But what if... What if you don't know what's the truth?" He shifted his weight nervously, his posture remaining submissive by instinct because he realised that it wasn't just that everyone else thought he might be crazy — what if he was going crazy?