Sun Mote Copse from the heart

@Weejay ?? let me know if any of the pp is not ok

It was tough on Weejay that Elfie was gone. Eljay wished that he could protect her from the pain of family leaving like that. He remembered the pain all too well from the times his relatives had gone away. In the end Eljay had just let Elfie go because he knew he could not stop his son, but in the process he felt that he had hurt his daughter. Maybe he should have fought harder for it, for Elfie, for Weejay... But it was what it was. Weejay was more outgoing to leave the territory and visit Elfie, who wasn't all that far away, but to the father who was afraid to leave the pack borders it was far, far away. He tried his best to be a father to Weejay and he tried his best to provide for Weejay -- but the upcoming winter worried him considering the lack of prey and the disasters that had struck so far.

Eljay had become thin through it all -- the worry, the lack of food, it all piled up -- and looked much like a few years ago, when he had not eaten because of the worry for his mother, when he had almost perished.

Weejay? Do you want to do something fun..? asked Eljay as he approached his daughter, hoping to be able to divert her attention a little. And maybe figure out how she was feeling about Elfie and if she had yet visited him in his new, hopefully temporary, home on one of her trips outside of the territory. Eljay still didn't like those trips, but he knew that he could do nothing to stop them and he didn't want to chase Weejay off like he had Elfie, so Eljay had become less strict about monitoring her absences and freaking out about them.

Throughout all Weejay had endured, she had yet to resent her father. She resented many things; the oncoming of winter; the loss of her flowers; the departure of her brother; the death of her mother.. and yet she had known that Eljay, like her, was just a pawn in all of this -- and as long as he stayed by her, things might be okay. 

She had been staring listlessly at her old garden when she heard the tread of her father behind her. Peering round her shoulders, she caught sight of Eljay -- and for the first time the emaciation of his frame sunk in. It reminded her of how Wildfire had looked those last few days; a jolt of terror shot through her, causing a frown to wrinkle her soft features. Daddy, you aren't looking very well. She stood up and inspected him solemnly, tail flagging. Fun was not on the agenda anymore -- not when he looked like this. Do you want to go to the stream? Maybe see if there are some fish?

Weejay said that she was not looking very well, and Eljay frowned. He wished that it would not be so visible on him, so that she would not have to worry. It's been tough, he admitted. He didn't really want to admit it, and he wouldn't have said it on his own... But now that it was out there, it felt like a relief to have said it. The world had never allowed him to be weak, not much of it had anyway, and sometimes it felt good to get to be weak, just for a moment. To admit it, even though it was a shameful fact. Never been too good at the small prey. And seeing Weejay grow up to be strong and healthy and with all the sustenance she needed was his number one goal. As long as he had that, the rest didn't matter all that much.

Upon Weejay's suggestion to go to the river, he seemed unsure a moment but then agreed. Let's see if there's something left to fish, he said, even though fishing'd never been his forte either. But with the pair of them, maybe he could chase and she could catch. Chasing was a thing he knew to do.

As Eljay came into motion, he sighed and said, You've gotta be missing Elfie. It was stated as a fact, as he could not imagine his sensitive bright girl not to miss her brother. Eljay missed him, too, even despite never gaining his respect or love in the way he hoped and wished for. It was empty and quiet without him, even though Weejay was a great comfort to have around.

Eljay's admission was met with an understanding nod. Weejay was nothing if not empathetic -- and the same stroke of tough fate that hounded her dad, had struck her too. 

Having lived it, she understood. She more than understood -- and like her father wished it was some other way. It'll get better. Weejay said, spoken with certainty whether it was true or not. To fear otherwise went against her very grain of existence. Someday things would be better. 

Falling in step along her father Weejay gave a curt nod at his agreement to fish. As they walked down to the river the inevitable came up -- the very topic Weejay had repressed and somehow avoided. @Elfie. 

She missed him terribly. She wanted to understand why he had left, free of judgment -- but all she felt was an ugly pit of something cold in her stomach. She missed her big brother that she adored, idolized, and looked up to more than words could possibly adequately sum up. Soldiering through all of her muddied emotions, Weejay gave a sparse smile that barely hid how she truly felt. Yeah, I miss him. More than missed -- she keenly felt his absence. Do you think we can visit him soon?

'It'll get better', she said, and Eljay smiled lightly at his daughter's positive attitude. It was great that she wasn't letting the worries get to her as much as he did. As they fell in step beside each other Eljay gently nosed Weejay's shoulder as they set off. He wished that he could offer her more, but he was glad that he could at least offer her enough food to keep her on her feet.

Eljay knew it must be tough to think about Elfie for Weejay. It was tough for him too, although for mostly different reasons, as Eljay felt he failed as a parent a lot and Elfie was the embodiment of that feeling. Even moreso now that he had left. Weejay asked to visit and Eljay froze in step for one moment as he thought of going outside the pack territories, then continued walking.

It took another few seconds before he eventually said: Yeah.. I suppose that would be nice. We should be careful, though. It's dangerous out there. Eljay had had enough bad experiences to know that that much was true. He worried for Weejay's health outside just as much as he did for Elfie's every day that he wasn't right here, at home.

Weejay had been holding it together enough -- up until she felt her father's touch along her shoulder. It had been made in affection, but for some reason, Weejay felt her blood run cold  -- because that touch had been all that was needed to open the dams to her true feelings, the ones she buried by indefatiguable optimism and cheery masquerades.

She kept her head stiff, looking away so her father might not see the tears that welled there. Collect yourself, idiot, she admonished inwardly. Dragging in a deep breath to steady her nerves, Weejay tried on a smile that felt all too fake. "It'd be nice, like you said! And we could show him the plants and berries I found that don't die in the winter." She was hopeful -- too hopeful - that this would change her father's mind.. but Weejay had yet to truly understand that adults were often more entrenched in their ways than even trees were - and it took tremendous uprooting to change their minds.

Weejay grew excited at the thought of visiting Elfie. Eljay smiled at her boundless enthusiasm even despite the circumstances: the lack of food (though he supposed for her it might be what might seem normal despite the hunger, since she had not experienced any normal falls and winters so far), and the fact that Elfie was gone. It still stung for Eljay that Elfie had chosen consciously to move away from the Copse, from home, from Wiffle's last resting place, but mostly... From them, from him and Weejay. He knew it must hurt her too. Even the thought of visiting Elfie when he hadn't visited the Copse himself stung, but Eljay was warming up to the thought. It would be good to see Elfie again, even if just for a bit.

Yeah, I bet he'd love to see them, Eljay said with a smile. He wondered, Are you interested in learning more about healing, too? Sugar's looking to learn, too. I thought you two could maybe learn together since you're both interested in plants. I could call you if anyone's hurt so you can learn. He added: Only if that's something you wanted, of course. He had never had much interest in healing himself until later in his life; before then, he'd liked flowers but not done any healing. But he was here now, able to teach her, and that might not always be the case.

Eljay was not the only one stung by Elfie's decisions; Weejay, of all people, would have understood his feelings implicitly. In that regard, they were in the same boat.

Her spirits had momentarily dunked, but now were on top again about seeing Elfie. She could forgive him all, if she saw him -- the second she saw him, those thoughts of how could you leave us / why did you leave us would fade away.. She just wanted to see him again, and she knew her father did too.

Prompted to think about her future rather than Elfie, Weejay's ears clipped back and she did a double-take. She had never considered healing - but hearing Sugar Glider was interested in it, awoke a little streak of competitiveness in Weejay. "Ummm.. sure. Plus it'd teach me more about plants, right?" Because that was really the main objective here, Weejay.

do you want to maybe finish this soon and we can have a new one where they search for Elfie around where stuff in asterism grove collapsed?

The thought of seeing Elfie again definitely made Eljay feel a lot better. It was a nice thought that Weejay wanted to bring plants for him, too, even though Eljay wondered if he'd be very interested. But he probably loved his sister enough to pretend.

Yeah, Eljay said when Weejay uncertainly asked if it would teach her more about plants. Plants are pretty important when it comes to healing. There's all sort of plants that are useful for taking away pain or helping a wound heal. Eljay didn't consider himself the best at healing, but he tried and he would definitely enjoy teaching his own daughter about it.

yes! <3

The plant-side of the healing world intrigued Weejay. It was a good distraction too, for the fact that Elfie was gone. As long as she thought about other things, those dark thoughts didn't take root -- or at least, she didn't notice they did..

"So you'll teach me about all of those plants too, daddy?" Weejay spoke up, eyes hopeful. "I wanna learn." Maybe being a healer was her career-path besides idle gardening.. Weejay hadn't really thought much of her future before today, but something about working with plants and her packmates seemed like a good compromise.

Of course, Eljay said with a soft smile. It was sweet how much Weejay loved plants. He'd liked them too, mostly for their aesthetic values, when he was young, though it'd taken him years to change that interest into something useful by learning about midwifing. He nosed Weejay's cheek and suggested, Now, let's collect some more plants we can show Elfie when we get to him. and started making his way deeper into the copse.