Blackfeather Woods And all the lights that lead us there are blinding

She was loathe to leave @Taikon 's side when the sun finally began to announce the arrival of morning. He needed to eat, though; she could tell he hadn't done much of it while he was traveling, and she wanted to make sure he got plenty to eat now, especially while he was healing. 

She would hunt for him later, just as he had done for her, but this morning, she planned to search the nearest cache and find something for him. She slowly and gently removed herself from his side where she had been curled around him, and quietly padded from the den. 

She returned within a few minutes, a day old rabbit between her jaws. Setting it down in the entrance of the den, she moved to where Taikon was and settled back down beside him. She didn't want to wake him, so she would wait until he woke on his own. Taktuq had already ventured out for the day—not uncommon for her. She spent most days exploring or hunting. Taki usually spent the most time with her at night before her niece fell asleep. 

Content to watch over things while Taikon slept, she rested her head on her paws and waited.

Sleep had been restless. He'd kicked and shuddered and rolled and whined during the night. There were moments he would wake up in a panic and forget where he was before settling again. No doubt Takiyok had been woken many times at night from this lack of sleep. Finally in the early morning, his mind and body settled and he fell into something resembling full rest. His chest heaved, and he curled in upon himself, feeling colder than he should have given the temperature of their den.
Taikon woke to the scent of rabbit. He breathed, feeling Takiyok warm beside him. Weakly, he managed to smile and lift his head up to look at her. The daylight bounced on the walls of their abode and at last, he could see the warmth of her orange eyes. Morning, he said, happy just to be able to see her and touch her and talk to her again. The travelling had been lonelier than he could've ever imagined.
He stretched a bit, feeling the popping of his joints and back. His neck and leg were very sore, and his eyes were feverish. He sniffed at the rabbit, feeling something vaguely like an appetite. Moving toward the entrance, he took it and pulled it back inside, unwilling to venture out into the cold just yet. When he felt the fur of the rabbit in his mouth, however, nausea returned and he had to quickly put it down and sit back down by Taki. He looked at it, wanting to eat and yet feeling like if he did, he might explode.

Taki lifted her head the second he did, her gaze searching for and holding his. Morning, she murmured. She was unsure how he would be feeling, and her expression shifted into a concerned frown when he got up to retrieve the rabbit. I would have moved that closer to you, she told him. You're in pain and you should rest. She had felt what he was feeling, and moving was agonizing in his state. 

Her concern deepened when he set the rabbit down and turned away from it. She gently nuzzled his cheek. Do you not feel up to eating? she asked him. She wished he would at least eat a little, but she knew she couldn't force it. Maybe something else sounds good? she suggested. I can go out hunting later and try to find you something that sounds better to you, Taki offered. She didn't mind at all; she just wanted him to be okay—she needed him to be okay. If he wasn't, then she would always blame herself, not to mention it would just be one more thing in her life that was ripped away from her—she would keep going on, but with that much less hope that she was meant to have any kind of real happiness in her life.

I know, he answered calmly, nodding appreciatively. He had always felt worse when he was in pain if he didn't move at all. Even though he understood her need to baby him a little bit, he was an adult and still had just a bit of pride left in him. He knew that she did all of it out of.. care, and so he couldn't possibly complain. He swallowed as she nuzzled him lightly, shaking his head a bit and frowning. He'd been struggling to keep food down and stay warm for days. Though he knew many who had died after such symptoms, he knew many more who recovered.
The swelling, though, had not decreased much at all overnight. Actually, he began, furrowing his brow and looking down. Taikon didn't like to ask for help. He was used to being the knight in shining armour that assisted others, like Zephyr and Taki herself, when they were most in need. To have someone returning the favour was something quite new for him. He probably only accepted it because he felt comfortable being vulnerable around her. We need a medic, or, I need one, I think. If no one has come to Ivory Rose with those skills, it might be worth sending an envoy to the Glen to ask Luna if she knows anyone...
He swallowed again, feeling the familiar taste of hot saliva running over his tongue, threatening vomit. He lay down, this time on his side, and pushed the rabbit away with his paw. I don't know if this will go away by itself, he said, rather knowingly.

She knew that he knew—she also knew that he was stubborn like she was and didn't like to be cared for by others. But he would just have to get over it. 

When he brought up the topic of a medic, a sharp spike of dread shot through her chest. She had known his wounds were bad and more than she could really manage, but she had been willing to try and help him as much as she was able. She had been trying to convince herself that with rest and food, he would be okay, but his words just shed light on how unreasonable that was. The shock of it all had barely worn off but suddenly, she could imagine him dying right in front of her and that being her fault too. 

But now was not the time to fall apart; she had to take care of him, and that meant finding him a healer. Okay, she said, keeping her voice steady and attempting to keep the fear from her expression. I'll go and see if I can find a healer, she promised him.

She watched him adjust and roll over on his side, pushing the rejected meal away. Worry surged again, tightening the knot in her stomach. Her face fell then, and her stoic mask slipped a little—she had grown accustomed to not hiding her emotions from Taikon, and so it was becoming more difficult to do so around him, even at times when she really wanted to. She sighed as warm moisture pricked the corners of her eyes. I hate this, she whispered. I should have gone, not you. You don't deserve this. He was laying there, hurt and in pain because of her, and she was having trouble dealing with it.

Taikon knew that it wasn't what she wanted to hear from him. He wanted to power through the way that she always seemed to, but the realist in him knew that the sickness that ailed him was simply unlikely to be healed with rest and time alone. She probably knew it too, having experienced injuries herself and likely having seen them in others. He didn't like having to ask for help, but he needed to be alive for her and Taktuq and the way he was feeling, he worried he would lose the lucidity he needed to care for himself quickly.
She expressed herself, and he felt guilty for making her feel this way. He frowned, swallowing, his throat harshly clanging. He realized he was dehydrated, but unwilling to get up to get water from the forest stream. It will be fine, Taki, he soothed, knowing well that it might not be fine. I went because you were a better rock for Taktuq, and the visit itself was good. Valette is a very loving woman, and she sends her love to you and to Taktuq, he said, his voice sounding weird and strained from being on his side. He had a very good impression of Valette. Had he known her husband had passed shortly after he left, he would have felt terrible.

She knew what he said was true; it made more sense for her to stay here and for him to go, but it was hard to remind herself of that when he was hurting. What made things even more difficult was that she didn't have the skills to truly help him. He needed someone who could heal the infection that had set into his wounds, and she knew nothing about how to do that. 

She was glad to hear about Valette and that they knew where Taktuq was. She sighed and nodded. You are the one that needs to be taken care of, and you are trying to make me feel better. It was backwards and she would not let herself give him anymore reason to think that he needed to worry about her right now.

How can I help you right now? she asked. Soon, she would set out to find him someone to tend to his wounds but until then, there had to be something she could do.

Taikon laughed weakly, for though the humour felt like someone was standing on his neck, he couldn't help but appreciate her worry and frustration. It meant she cared, and there was something very loving and refreshing about that. It hadn't been often he'd had anyone to look out for him. But there she was.
He peered at her, wishing he felt like cuddling or bringing her in close, but the thought of it made him feel sicker with the fever that ran ever higher. Tell me about things here, he said calmly. I need the distraction. More than that, he wanted to know if there had been any updates. Zephyr surely was constantly looking for reasons not to let Taki have children in the spring. Taktuq might have spoken. Anything might have happened in the weeks he'd been away.

She wanted to reach out to him, nuzzle into her spot. But she was afraid she would hurt him more. She wanted things to be as they were before he had left. But they couldn't—it was a foolish wish that she pushed away as quickly as it had formed. Tears threatened as they had multiple times already, but she held them back; she didn't want him to feel like he needed to comfort her anymore than he already had. 

She drew in a quiet breath. Well, not very much has changed here, she told him, happy to offer any kind of help, even if it was just a distraction. Taktuq is distant and does not tell me much. She has to be traumatized after what happened, but she does not seem to want to talk about it. I do not feel right making her. That might be the wrong way to handle it, but it was what felt right to her. I have spent most of my time patrolling and— she hesitated a second, feeling vulnerable for what she was about to say. —waiting for you to return, she finished a moment later. Though their reunion was tainted by fear and dread, and the uncertainty of whether or not he would make it through this.

He heaved a breath, releasing it in a hefty sigh as Takiyok described his time away. It was unfortunate that Taktuq had not come around at all. He had hoped that the distance might have helped her come back to reality. Takiyok was a good listener, and he had expected the girl and her aunt might have broke some ground. To hear that she was no better off worried him.
He managed a gentle smile, even on his side, as she mentioned that she had been anxious for his return. I had plans to bring you a gift, he said. It was supposed to be really romantic and all that, he continued, unable to keep himself from laughing softly despite the pain it caused his swollen muscles. It was true. He had wanted to bring her back a souvenir from Easthollow, but hadn't stayed long enough to find anything. Then, he had hoped at the very least for a pretty rock or tasty animal, but all of that hope went out the window after the attack. One day, the shit will stop raining from the skies, and we will be free to..
He trailed off. Love. He'd had plans for grandiose gestures and poetry and all of the things that he knew how to do from a lifetime before, but life had a way of interrupting such blueprints for happiness.

She gave a small, sad huff of laughter as he mentioned bringing her a gift. I do not need gifts, she told him. She just needed him, alive and healthy. She had grown far too accustomed to him being with her; she had let herself come to need him on many levels, and she didn't want to have to continue on without him. She had continued on without too many loved ones, and her soul was tired from it. 

She walked over and very carefully settled down behind him so that she could rest her head on his side away from any injuries. She sighed and closed her eyes for a moment, opening them back up when she spoke again. I hope you are right. I think we could both use a break. They were supposed to come here and grow closer together—learn more about each other, but it seemed like there were things in their way at every turn. She wondered if she would ever know a calm, happy life.

No, but you deserve them, he answered slyly. She wandered back over to him, positioning herself and resting her head on him. He sighed with her, finding it all very domestic. It would have been pleasant if he wasn't constantly in pain and feeling ready to vomit. For the moment, the nausea subsided, and her warmth was a welcome comfort. He nodded, knowing that she needed a reprieve as much as he did. Hopefully, their plans for the spring would be just that, and go mostly uninterrupted by horror.
I missed you, he said softly, face still against the dirt. It was possible he had said it before when he had first returned, but his mind felt cloudy and dazed. He didn't need to travel with her. He knew he was... well, he'd thought he was capable of travelling by himself without consequence before Astraeus had proven him wrong, but it had just been too much time. They'd spent far too many hours together on the road from Sagtannet for him to be able to just give up the warm scent of her fur and the long talks they shared. You've ruined me, he joked, sticking his tongue out and blowing a raspberry.

She smiled and made a non-committal sound, offering a slight shake of her head. She wasn't sure she agreed with that, but as she had learned in the past, she wouldn't likely change his mind. She would just have to find some way to return the favor. 

She closed her eyes and released a soft sigh at his next words. I missed you too, she told him quietly. She had missed him more than she had even anticipated. The days spent, patrolling the borders, searching for his approaching form in the lands beyond the forest were long and lonely. She missed his constant company; she felt she could be completely herself around him, and she hadn't found that kind of connection in a long time. Even now, as he breathed beneath her, she feared she would lose what they had. His scent was tainted with infection, and she feared the worst was still yet to come. 

His teasing words distracted her from her dark thoughts. That was my plan all along, she told him. You have discovered my secret.

The journey had been long, and lonely, and had no purpose but to return to her and Taktuq. The boy leader and his boy leader friends were of little consequence to him. His world had zoomed in. He remembered what it felt like, to see nothing but another, to care not about oneself and only find interest in them. It was the obsession that had been programmed into all things that could feel, he thought, for even birds seemed capable of it.
But he welcomed his delusion that only she mattered just then. It distracted him from himself and the dire need of his body.
Clearly this was your plot, he reasoned, playing the hero in their roleplay scenario. And you thought I would not discover your dastardly plans, ho ho, he pushed his back foot against her back foot as though he was trying to shove it away. You won't get away with this, Queen, Taikon announced.

She chuckled softly despite the situation. You are mine now, she told him, nipping playfully at the leg that pretended to push her away. Any attempts to escape will be thwarted. If only that were the truth; it seemed the universe was trying its hardest to ruin whatever they had been trying to build together. 

She sighed and nuzzled her nose into the fur along his shoulders. She breathed deeply, as she often did to soothe herself. Only now his comforting scent was tainted with sickness, and it only reminded her of their daunting situation. She needed to find a healer as quickly as possible, and she worried about her ability to do that. She kept her worries to herself, though, not wanting to remind him of what he likely already knew.

Agh, clearly, my love has discovered my weakness, he declared. It was only afterward that he realized he had used the forbidden L-word, and at that point wasn't entirely sure what to do, stalling with vague laughter as though everything she and he had just said was funny. As though it didn't cause very real pain to his taut and painful abdominal muscles. As though he did not love her.
But she was already pushing herself into him, and he was already enjoying it. He felt her breathe. It reminded him to breathe, too. Aphrodite had taught him that. He needed her, and so he followed. Takiyok. He said simply, staring at her. Longing. Wanting. Strange. Her version of reality was not the truth through his fever. But he focused on her regardless. She was beautiful. And he wished that he could please her.