Neverwinter Forest You’ll just have to wait and see

@Vallkyrie

He'd take the victory that one of his sons was no longer missing. One down, how many to go? Did he want to count? No. He didn't want to. He couldn't. But even if he didn't, he knew they were there, ghosts that lingered just over his shoulder. It weighed him down. He couldn't face the list -- it was evidence he'd failed at something that should have been so simple.

But so, he patrolled. Days blended together, and more often than not, it wasn't like anything exciting happened. That was probably good. With the way things had gone, it was probably a good thing that stuff wasn't exciting. How much more could he stand? How long had it been since he'd smiled on his own? He couldn't remember. What had happened to his life? Why had it gone so wrong? He stopped, peed on a tree, and continued along. His steps were slow. Mal was a different wolf than he had been months ago, pretty scruffy, with a few sharper angles that shouldn't be there. Worn.

Unkept, worn, solemn. He features revealed a harder version of himself though the many trials he had gone through. Vallkyrie suffered too, but those pups that were lost, their packmates dead, Mal was far closer to them then Vallkyrie had ever been.

She watched him a moment as she stood out into the open land beyond their forest and after some time, slowly padded into his direction. Within her jaws, a small muskrat. It was thin from having grown hungry without being able to forage properly. Vallkyrie was thinner too beyond her normal subtle curve of a runner's figure and now onto that of malnourished. The winter storms had taken much from them.

Coming to his from the side toward their border, she settled the rodent down near. If anyone should keep their strength up, it was their leader. We're falling apart Mal... She says then, blatantly honest and the weight of it was heavy in her features. Her icy cold eyes cast up towards the trees. I think this forest, regardless of all its beauty, is cursed. And it was much so a very beautiful forest of pine. Vallkyrie was at her happiest living in a forest and this one held her heart for some time but now it only hurt. I thought things would get better, but it only gets worse. She had been distant with him. Distant from many, in fact, for months savor with her sister who had now too left the forest behind.

Gonna be a bit more vague than I was planning just in case.

She didn't mince words. In a way that hurt more. Probably not an excuse to make things worse, but what he needed was solutions. What those would be, he wouldn't know. She came over and set the muskrat down near him, he paused, restlessly, not taking it at this point.

Why blame the forest? I'm the one who's never had a streak of good luck in his life. I'll do anything for anyone --and they leave. Stay here, people disappear, go searching for them, more disappear. And more often than not it's my child. It was pointed, mostly because of how tired it he was of it all. It wasn't at her, it was at the world in general. I'm not destined to be happy anywhere. Where he was born, then Elysium, his travels, here. There was no end to it. No matter how hard I try. He wanted to be happy, he wanted his friends and family to be happy. So why was this happening?

Mal had a point and it was one which she had, a time before, considered. Maybe the forest itself wasnt cursed but it was Mal's failure as a leader to not only bring in trustworthy, reliable wolves but failure to not enforce rules laid out by him. How many times had Mal said for others to stick together to keep from disappearances? How many had not listened to him? Maybe it was his lack of leadership skill and his first pack being a bit of a struggle because of it. Kyr didnt know, she had never been lead herself so maybe this was more of a case of just really bad luck. And the splotchy wolf was right, he had not much luck.

Vallkyrie could have said 'I told you so' in the manner of his pups, but she didnt. The woman remembered them having a conversation of exactly what could happen if he went on banging every living thing with a pretty face. So many mouths to feed, so many to look after, so many mothers to make happy... He had not decided on a single (or two) reliable mates, ones who he could trust and ones with a strong drive.

Vallkyrie takes a heavy breath, turning her head away and out to the hunting grounds. I'm not happy here either. I've not been for a long time... It should have been obvious to him, to anyone, but she was sure it was not. Too many were not happy here and that is probably why they left, if they didnt die or 'get lost'. Besides Mal himself (although that had been more and more formal for seasons now) what connections did she really have in this pack? It had been now a full year since being here and so many had come and gone, perhaps for the better it almost seemed now. Vallkyrie felt too, maybe, that she should take that step, for what more did she have now but suffering?

Why not find happiness, then? She then thought, her slender frame lowering into a sit. Hua... She went then to think of their closest allies, Is a well-known woman. Reliable, driven... Would being with her make you happy? Of course Kyr didn't know the in and outs of their relationship, but the time they spent with one another, especially when Yuelong had visited, was often. If leading a pack was not in the cards for him and Hua and Aiolos were doing well and he cared for her then, why not make betterment for themselves?

Though honestly right now it was probably a good thing Mal couldn't read her mind. As it was, what she said hurt. If had been a long time, why didn't she say anything a long time ago? The only thing she'd mentioned not liking was his big weird family and that wasn't something he'd wanted to change. So what? She had other stuff she didn't like and just let it stew? Yeah, like he could fix anything like that...

Either way, his expression had hardened for a second, but her next words broke him from that into brief confusion when she brought up Hua. Wait where did that come from? To him it felt like she was prying. Nobody knew about himself and Aibreann, and with how Kyr had set him on the defensive, he wasn't going to have her be the first to share that now-old secret with. Instead he replied, trying to figure out what she was actually implying. What do you even mean? Like he was supposed to prance off into the sunset or something? Everything was complicated, not that she knew.

He didnt take the hint, directly questioning her motives with a defensive nature. Yuelong was their closest ally and they were doing good as far as she knew, other then themselves. He could have either taken it that they should stay with them as this, allies, or he could have taken it in the manner the watchful eye of the scout was no fool too. She did live here, after all. She did walk in and out of the borders every day. She had ears, eyes and a great sense of smell.

She sighed. Both irritated, sorrowful and impatient with her leader.

The pack is suffering, Mal. Unhappy, broken, lost, simply tired and the forest and its memories was only a painful reminder of everything they had endured. Surely, Mal could ride it out for longer, hold onto his pride (Kyr knew she would have if it was her own) until the bitter end. But would that be what was best for his remaining members, for the few children still well and alive in his prescene? There isnt any happiness here any longer. Find it. Maybe starting fresh elsewhere at least will give the wolves here something to hope for. He would take it one way or anothet: Either she was telling him to give up or she was telling him to cut his losses and start over. In reality it was very much both.

I dont think I can stay much longer... She admits then begrudgingly. She too knew she could stick it out to the bitter end, but when would it end? How much more would she grow resent for her home before she too vanished from them? Look, She shifted, a single slender paw toying at the earth as she did so. I have never abandoned you. Never once wandered off too long, never once came running back like everything was okay and figuring a single apology would smooth over everything... Not like countless others who used these lands as a revolving door, to settle and get comfy in pack life so they could recover before going back to their ventures. She had stayed through it all for a year and now she was done.

And he still questioned her judgement. Still didnt trust her like had so did everyone else that came and went. It was one of the reasons why he was having all these problems to begin with. I wont leave your family in a bind and I wont leave without telling the others goodbye. She wasnt like the rest. But I do hope you take the time to think about what I said. Unless he told her to leave now, of course. She wasnt a part of his big weird family. She knew that now more then ever.

While Mal still wanted desperately wanted to fix things, it seemed Kyr had long given up. Even as depressed as he was, Mal would walk through fire to help any of them if he was asked. And if nobody did ask... Then how would he know? Why didn't she say things before if it was such an issue? Seriously, why?

Before it was maybe a small metaphorical chasm between them, but that widened to a huge gulf in those few seconds. And he did look hurt by it, a single paw taking a step back. What was he supposed to say to all that? So you just want me to give up and leave because you're giving up and going to leave? His ears tipped back. I've been trying to build something for everyone--- But apparently that wasn't good enough. For anyone. And she was just saying she was going to join in with everyone else who'd left him in the end. Why did they keep doing that?

She thinks then for a moment, what if she had told him of her worry, her discomfort, her troubles here? It would not have changed anything, she imagined. It would have only been another worry for Mal, that yet another one of his members lived within the confines of the forest unhappily. Those things which had happened in this pack, causing the huntress to go to dislike the home which she lived, were such things that were mostly of no control of Mal's own and what he could have done to prevent some said things, he likely would have not. After all, Mal had not listened to Kyr before when she had suggested that sleeping around probably wasn’t the best idea either…


Her crown tosses to the side, icy eyes cast to the frozen forest floor around them. He had taken a step back from her, the hurt in his eyes something she did not wish to see any more then she had already done so. His mismatched gaze, of the sun and one of the moon like the Gods which shined down on them. She wanted better for the young leader, she truly did, but she also wanted better for her own self, too. She would not go down with this ship with him.


I'm sorry Mal... She finally said, a sigh and her eyes cast up from the grounds and out to the south, towards the Glen. Still she couldn’t bring herself to look at him again. Keep trying then. Pick up the pieces until there isn’t any pieces left. She said then, a sharper tone-back to business, as it were, if that’s all which they had for one another now. Of course she wasn’t going to try and force her leader to just give up on the pack if there was still a fighting chance, but it was just that Vallkyrie didn’t see that anymore. That was the problem, she imagined. I hope for the best... And she always had but it was never given to her, not here. Not for a long time.

There wasn't much to say. He just looked at her, quietly before finally saying, I can't do all this alone. But they left. Did he really need to say it? Everyone always gave up on him. Why? He always tried, and for some reason they all decided to just leave. Okay, sure, he wasn't actually alone, but to lose Smmik, his missing children, Lenny, Hao, now Kyr... What had he done wrong? It hurt. 

Why did they want to give up on dreams? Why was he going to be left behind? Was he somehow so offensive to them that nobody wanted to stay and be a part of the pack-as-a-family with him? Nobody listened, nobody believed him...