Duck Lake we sang silent night in three parts, which was fun

So you live here, now. For some reason the words feel like being struck. Yeah, right at the bottom of the lake, He jokes wearily, immediately regretting it — though he kind of wishes it was true. Can't be a fuck-up if you're dead at the bottom of a lake. He goes silent for another moment, swallowing hard as he tries to find the nerve to say more.
I'm sorry, He manages finally, voice tight, and something breaks within him. I tried. I tried so hard to keep everything together — to keep myself together, for the Sanctuary. But I just — His voice breaks and he stops to take a breath, trying to calm his fried nerves. I couldn't do it anymore. Zamael left, and Eris died, and I realized that — that I was just making everyone miserable. That I couldn't be anything I was trying to be for you guys. That I don't even know who I am anymore — and you're better off with Seabreeze and Olive and — Delight. As soon as the name passes his lips, his voice leaves him again, and he can only suck in a shaking breath and watch Lily's face anxiously.