Wapun Meadow So I never really knew you

forward dated to August 28th, 2019

Through backtracking and retracking, Sadiq had finally found his way through the Wilds and was finally able to recognize the lake and the mountain that he supposed was some kind of home. @Takiyok was here and his niece and nephews, and that was home enough for him. He could only imagine the tongue wagging her was sure to receive from being gone to long.

On the edge of the meadow, a small smile tilted his lips. Despite the trouble he was sure to be in, Sadiq was glad to see Takiyok and her children again.

She repeated her search yet again, begging the universe to let her find even one hint that would lead her to wherever Ego was. She knew he had been with Stigmata sometime in the moments before his death, and she couldn't stop picturing him hurt and alone somewhere. She couldn't bear the thought of her son suffering in such a way. 

Almost frantically, she moved through the meadow, nose gliding through grass and flowers, finding her son her singular focus. She almost missed the familiar scent. Almost. Taki stopped and lifted her head. Anger flashed through her. Where the fuck had he been. Here she was dealing with all of this shit, and yet again, a brother was suddenly gone. 

She tracked Sadiq's scent, breaking into a sprint when she saw his snowy form in the distance. She slid to a halt a few feet in front of him, her face a mixture of fury and absolute despair. Where have you been?

Of course he had expected anger. The Yakone litter was full of self-righteous indignation, and emotions settle close to the surface., and Takiyok was the most passionate one amongst them all. So anger was a reaction he expected, but he hadn’t thoughts she would be hysterical. She looked worn and exhausted, in equal parts to his disheveled appearance.

His planned speech evaporated as Sadiq looked Taki over, pushing away his splitting headache to better understand why she was so upset. Confused, she wouldn’t be this worried over him. In fact he wasn’t sure he truly expected her to realize he had been gone. “It doesn’t matter. What’s wrong?” He didn’t particularly care for Takiyok to worry over him, he could take her anger but not her worry. And she was obviously worried about something more important than him. Now he just had to figure out what it was.

She closed her eyes and turned away, fighting back tears. She didn't want to cry right now, but it seemed her body had other plans; silent tears slipped down her cheeks anyway, and it was a few moments before she could compose herself enough to speak. She drew in a shaky breath and focused her gaze on him once more. Stigmata is dead and Ego is missing, she answered, voice wavering over her son's name. I've been searching for him as much as I can, but I can't leave the other children for very long; they're...inconsolable. She fell back on her haunches as if unable to stand under the weight of everything she was feeling. She was so lost in the sea of her own despair that she hadn't even noticed he was injured.

Sadiq’s jaw dropped in disbelieve, swallowing thickly and looking away he closed his eyes in sadness. He couldn’t bear to see his sister cry, not now, not ever. The guilt was like a tsunami against his soul, and he realized his error immediately, he hadn’t been there. “Takiyok I’m so sorry, I should have been here. I— I’m truly sorry sister.” He had no idea how to help her, of course he would help her look for Ego that was a given, but he knew that Stigmata’s death must have been a hard hit for Takiyok.

Although he wasn’t typically a touchy feely kinda guy, Sadiq stepped closer to his littermate. Reaching up, as Taki was almost as big as he was, he rested his head atop of hers. “Tell me what you need from me?”

She shook her head at his apology. It didn't matter now, and she didn't have the energy to be angry with him, nor did she want to be. She needed her family, and he was here; that's all she cared about.

She leaned into his affection and closed her eyes again as tears continued to stream down her face. She couldn't find any words to answer his question at first. She didn't know what she needed, and she was, honestly, too exhausted to try and a figure it out. But she did know one thing he could do. The children...I don't know how to reach them, she started, her tone defeated. Stag is despondent and removed, Monarch is angry and lashing out, and Mesa acts like nothing has happened. I just fear that I'm not doing enough to help them, but I don't know what else to do. She felt like she was failing them. Maybe they would respond better to you? She didn't know if it would work, but it couldn't hurt. She knew he loved them just as much as she did, and maybe he could help them wade through this trauma.

He nodded his head against her own, “Ok I can spend sometime with them, I’ll help any way I can.” It didn’t help his guilt, but he would do anything to try and make it up to them, all of them. “We will find him Takiyok, you and me together, we’ll search until we find him.” Sadiq had never been the one to do the comforting, Siarut and Tahani had always been better at the heart to heart moments. But he was all she had, and he had already blown it once. He wasn’t gonna do it again.

Thank you, she offered, still unable to pull herself from his comforting embrace. She hadn't shared her worries over her grieving children with anyone yet, and despite her own despair, she felt some relief that she could share some of her burden with family. 

His next words, although meant to soothe, didn't seem to help much. She would search for her son for as long as she had legs to walk, but she had trouble keeping hope that she would ever find him. She had already lost too much of her family, searched for them even now, but still had found no signs to even tell her if they were still alive. Why would this be any different? It helped some that she would have Sadiq searching for him, and she nodded her head, drawing in a deep, steadying breath so that she could compose herself. I hope so, was all she managed to say.

This was not his strong suit, dealing with other people’s emotions. He wasn’t sure of the right words to tell her, or the right thing to do to help her move past this pain. “Come sister. Let’s go back.” He met het eye, and headed toward their home. He suppressed his limp as much as possible, there was no need to worry her further. Sadiq waited for her to join him, the few steps he had taken toward home. A smile on his lips.

She nodded at his words and followed quietly at his side. She hadn't found any signs of Ego nearby, and she needed to go home and check on her remaining children. She would come out and search for him tomorrow and every day after that she could manage to slip away and look for her missing son. Like with the rest of her missing family, she would never stop searching. 

The walk home would most likely be silent; she had no words left to say right now, and she knew Sadiq wouldn't mind the quiet.