Sun Mote Copse Shedding aches for truth in a shape that's new

Wildfire really tried. She asked @Eljay to stay close and keep watch over her but absolutely refused to indulge the hormones setting her insides on fire. (Was that why they called it heat?) It was a little torturous for her and probably even worse for him. But she felt safe, if not entirely sane. She knew she could trust Eljay to be a total gentleman. He wouldn't even touch her unless she asked him. Maybe not even then, she mused.

She'd tried to sleep, yet she was so restless. For the nth time, she rose and circled inside the small space they shared among the tree's roots. Wildfire took a deep breath, peering down at her companion's still form. Predawn light crept over him. Whether he was actually asleep or only pretending, she couldn't tell. She wondered if he was dreaming about puppies. Suddenly, a terrible guilt gripped her.

"Eljay," she said quietly, nudging him. "Eljay, wake up."

Eljay had actually not been dreaming about puppies. Quite the opposite, even: nightmares plagued him. He was surprisingly still in his sleep, showing little of it but perhaps a frown that was easy to overlook. He dreamed about a great river and the rain making it overflow. There were little islands with everyone he loved on them but he couldn't possibly save them all. He had to watch as little Owen crashed into the river because he was running towards Wiffle to save her. Then as he saw a flash of gray on his side he skidded to a halt. Mommy. He had to save moomy! But Wiffle was still out there too! The rain kept crashing and the islands became smaller and smaller as he stood, too torn between the two women he loved (what?) to choose.

Eljay! She called out. Wiffle! he cried out in his sleep. No! Don't die, I never got to tell you I love you! Which was a pretty ridiculous reason for someone not to die, but okay. Dream logic.

When he blazed into awakened Eljay only remembered the blurry outlines of the dream -- choosing between mommy and Wiffle and standing there torn while everyone around him died because of him -- and he jumped up, breathing heavily and looking around with a bewildered look on his face until his eyes eventually fell on Wiffle's sweet face and his nostrils were filled with the scent she left behind everywhere, that drove him crazy.

Much as it broke her heart (and disappointed her loins), she needed to kick him out. It was for his own good. By asking him to stay with her, she was probably tormenting him. It was sweet that he hadn't complained or made any indication of whatever discomfiture he might be feeling, yet suddenly she realized it was extremely inappropriate of her. Kiwi and Sequoia could just as easily keep her company; they wouldn't have to fight nature's most primal instincts to do so.

But as she gently kicked at him, some very unexpected words burst from Eljay's lips. First came her name (her pet name, rather), then a scream of, "Don't die!" "Eljay!" Wildfire cried, quickly realizing he must be having a nightmare. "I'm f—" "I never go to tell you I love you!" Her chestnut eyes flew wide at the dream confession, wondering if there was any truth to that or if he was simply caught up in some whimsical dreamscape with no attachments to reality.

Before she could really process, Eljay was suddenly awake. Her lips parted to say something, which she promptly forgot as she assessed his state. He looked like a wild stallion getting ready to charge her. And rather than find that frightening, it sent a blast of heat like a furnace through Wildfire's body, torching all reason and resolve. Her pupils widened in the early morning light as she, too, began to breathe heavily.

"Eljay," she said after about thirty seconds of staring at one another across the tiny space, their hot breaths mingling with her powerful pheromones, "I need you. Do you understand me? I need you."

Unaware of the weird dream confession he'd just made Eljay blinked and looked around. He tried to steady his breathing like any other normal panic attack but there was something different about the situation now. As his eyes feel on Wiffle he could tell what it was exactly, and yet he didn't understand it at all. It was as if it was just behind the horizon and every time you thought you were getting closer there was still a lot of world to plow through to actually make it there and find the answer to the riddle.

He looked at Wiffle as she said she needed him. They were words that he really wanted to hear, he realised as she spoke them. But not because of the way she smelled (he thought, anyway, but it was hard to tell the difference right now) but just because she was... Wiffle. And he wondered if she said it because of the way she smelled or because, uh, she was Wiffle. No, wait, because he was Eljay. Anyway, he didn't know, but also too afraid to ask and ruin this moment. He was still pretty sleepy too, having just startled awake, and his heart was racing in his chest in the wake of the terrible nightmare.

The answer to her question was a pretty clear 'no', but Eljay doubted that would go over well. The moment would be ruined. So instead of being honest and awkward he said, I... I'm here, and he approached, though Eljay had no clue what on earth to do once he reached her. So he walked pretty slowly, hoping the extra time he bought would deliver him a miraculous answer to all of this questions.

He didn't answer her directly, though what he did say made the fire inside her burn a little brighter. He took a few tentative steps toward her and Wildfire's tail waved encouragingly, fanning her scent all the more. Unable to help herself at this point, she moved toward him too, so they met in the middle. Her nose touched his, then slid along the length of his muzzle, along his cheek, stopping at the corner of his eye. She paused, then placed a tender lick there, whining quietly under her breath.

Wildly, she wondered how Eljay would react if she were to say something blatant and filthy, like "do me" or even "fuck me." It would probably scare him away, so it was fortunate that Wildfire wasn't really the sort for dirty talk. No, she was the type to whisper sweet nothings in her lover's ear. So she did just that. Did that make Eljay her lover now?

No, he couldn't claim that title until he claimed her. Taking a step back, she tried to hit the brakes a little, collect herself a bit. "Eljay, do you want this too?" And probably more out of impatience than real consideration, Wildfire thought to speak plainly. "I want you—" "To mate me"? "To make love to me"? Neither one felt quite right, so she settled on, "I want you inside me."

Eljay felt squeamish as he noticed she approached, too, leaving him a lot less time to figure out what to do. He ended up looking pretty unsure of himself by the time they reached each other; he'd always been one to wear his emotions on his sleeve. The truth of the matter was that Eljay didn't really know what any of this was. He had a vague notion that he should do something, but he'd never been told (and if he had he had probably been so shocked that he'd forgotten over time) what, uh, how, exactly, pups were made. And he wasn't even entirely sure that this was what was going to happen now. All he knew was that his body wanted things and it sure looked like Wiffle's did, too.

But.. shouldn't he protect her from both of their bodies' needs..? Isn't that why he was here in the first place, to make sure nobody else did... Things? Wiffle's question made him answer: Yes Although he had no idea what he was saying yes to, exactly.

Wiffle soon disclosed what exactly "this" was and he looked visibly startled. What? Ahh, he kicked himself mentally, don't kill the mood! I mean, I -- Sorry, just, I need you too and I'm confused and I don't really know what to do at all. I'm so sorry! He was screaming at himself not to say these honest but dumb words the whole time but it didn't help. Eljay felt like he was almost going to cry, feeling pressure build up in his head, but he managed to choke it back, reminding himself over and over that surely Wiffle's reaction would never be as awful as his brain was telling him it'd be. It was Wiffle, after all, and she was the sweetest wolf he knew.

He startled like a skittish horse and it nearly snapped Wildfire out of it entirely... but not quite. There in his jumble of words were four very important ones: "I need you too." He might not know exactly what he wanted but he did know that he wanted it. Or, rather, needed it.

"Shh," she said gently. "That's okay. I can show you," she promised, reaching out to nose his mouth again, just a brief touch meant to calm him. "I think your body and your instincts will tell you what to do," Wildfire added a bit demurely, tail still revolving slowly and fanning the cloud of sweet, fragrant pheromones around them.

Seemingly out of nowhere, Wildfire chortled. "When I said I wanted you inside me, I didn't just mean I want to mate with you. I do want that but, Eljay, if we do this, it'll almost surely result in children. And I-I—" Her own stuttering took her by surprise. She steadied herself with a deep breath. "I want that." I think, she tacked on, being honest with herself, at least. "I want to have your babies, if you want that too."

Like expected by brain-logic, Wiffle was totally sweet about the whole thing and started to not only shush him, which luckily made his emotions sink a bit again so that the cry-alarm was gone for now, but also explained what she had meant. She explained it so sweetly and calmly, and it made Eljay feel all the feels again that had startled him so much when they'd cried and hugged together earlier. A few things startlingly clicked into place: when mommy had said that you didn't know you were in love even though it was super clear to everyone else. Was this that? It felt so good and yet so scary and dangerous in a way. He wanted to just be with Wiffle and protect her all the time.

She said his body would know what to do and he nodded. It did feel like that, although he also wasn't too sure he really wanted it. But... She told him that this would mean that she might get pregnant and that was a language the midwife and aspiring father understood. Her stuttering took Eljay by surprise, too, but he listened patiently, waiting for her to gather her words. He swallowed dryly as Wiffle said that she wanted to have children with him, but the implications of that weren't entirely clear to him. He could only guess that it meant she also wanted to be with him, right..? But he was too afraid to ask, too afraid to burn his fingers on this despite how sweet she'd been.

Okay, he said hoarsely to show he understood more or less what she said. Being a father was his dream, and to do it with Wiffle too was like.. even better.

Eljay wanted to really just get on with the puppy making, but a nagging voice just wouldn't leave him alone. It caused him to speak out any his uncertainties again: Is that... Does that mean you want to be, uhm.. together? but somehow he couldn't get the last word past his lips. He looked at Wiffle and nosed the fur in her neck while breathing in her scent. She smelled so wonderfully sweet, but then again, she always did. He wanted to ask for confirmation so badly but he also didn't want to keep Wiffle too long from what she wanted so much. What do I do? he asked, and he buried his face as well as he could against Wiffle's shoulder, feeling super embarrassed about his lack of understanding. His instincts weren't exactly helping along as well as he'd hoped.

He seemed to tap the brakes too. Although this made the fire simmering in the pit of her belly flicker impatiently, she gave no indication of the urgent pressure continually building inside her. Eljay started to ask a question, though he didn't finish it. Wildfire could guess what he'd been about to ask but wasn't entirely certain how to answer. Did he really love her? She loved him, though she wasn't in love with him. Because she'd always performed this particular act simply to procreate, Wildfire perhaps had a bit of a skewed perspective on all of it.

That didn't mean they couldn't build something from this: a partnership as well as a family. There was so much potential chemistry between them. Was it backward to get knocked up first and attempt a relationship after the fact? Possibly. But Wildfire was feeling very "YOLO" just now, certainly a byproduct of her hormones. She already knew this was going to happen. They could figure out the rest later, honestly. They would figure it out, she was sure. Eljay was going to be a fantastic father.

A smile curved her lips at that thought, the first since learning of Bat's untimely demise. "I'll show you," she promised in a whisper. She noticed the morning sun peeking through the bare boughs overhead and glanced upward for a beat, then back down to Eljay's silvered face. "But first, c'mere." She nuzzled him, then turned and hopped out of the tangle of roots, giving herself a hearty shake as she emerged in the winter sun's radiant glow.

Wiffle didn't press his question further, both a relief and a lingering worry. It also worried Eljay a bit that it seemed like he was feeling a lot less urgent about the whole, uh, mating thing. Wiffle had already said that she wanted him inside of her and he just wanted to snuggle. Was that weird? But he also knew he needed to do this mating thing in order to have pups. so, despite all of the other uncertainties, he knew that that's what he wanted, too.

Wiffle seemed less urgent then and promised to show him. He followed her gaze into the sunlight outside. As she nuzzled him Eljay felt his stomach swirl. When she went outside, he followed obediently, getting another whiff of her scent in his face which caused such an abundance of feelings that it was hard to keep it all contained in one wolf.

But he did, and stepped into the sunlight with a wag of his tail. It was strange somehow to be in the Copse again rather than the mystical underground place that belonged to just them, but at the same time the sunlight was pleasant and made him feel a bit more confident (from 1 to 5% maybe). His tail wagged gently as he stepped towards Wiffle again, still with little clue of what was next but trusting Wiffle to guide him through it. She hadn't ridiculed him so far, so he was probably safe from the feared scrutiny.

The fresh air cleared her head for a moment, the sun dancing in her eyes as Wildfire looked skyward for a moment. She experienced a moment of doubt then. Should she really go through with this? Would she come to her senses a week from now and be horrified by what she'd done? She truly pondered that for a long moment, then shook her head. She truly cared about Eljay and it meant something to her to help his dreams come true. Sure, it was a good thing the pregnancy would last two months; it would give them plenty of time to suss out the details of this spontaneous arrangement.

She turned, a fresh wave of heat consuming her as her eyes locked on Eljay. He looked a little uncertain about himself, which wasn't unusual. And Wildfire found she wasn't deterred by it. It would be sort of fun, guiding him. It would probably be the most awkward sex of her life... but that was okay. It would be the most loving and sweet since those youthful trysts with Floki all those years ago. Thinking about those made her smile and stoked her fire all at once, leading her to unleash her very best bedroom eyes on the unsuspecting Blackthorn.

Wildfire was tempted to flirt a little, maybe even play hard-to-get and lead Eljay on a frolicsome chase through the copse. But she had officially run out of patience. Besides, she didn't want to run the risk of scaring him off somehow. "I need you," she repeated in a low, sensual voice. "I want you." Golden eyes dancing, she pranced over to him, bumped her red crown beneath his chin and then ~*kerflompled*~ him.

/scene

There was a moment where Eljay thought that the situation might diffuse and it might not happened. It both made him nervous -- because puppies, and also it would bond him to Wiffle, even though he wanted her to want that part of it, too, and not just because of puppies -- and a little relieved -- because he didn't know what to do. At least his anxiety had calmed down for the moment because Wiffle was so patient and sweet and she would guide him through the process of all of this.

There was a tingle in his spine as Wiffle said those words in the voice that she used to say them. Eljay's eyes widened and he nuzzled Wiffle's face before she approached him. Through the kerflompeling process Eljay would ask quite some questions, be super awkward, and check in frequently to make sure that Wiffle was okay. For him, it wasn't that good; besides his anxiety, Eljay didn't really feel like this was something he absolutely needed in his life or that even felt really good for him, despite Wiffle's scent and the knowledge it'd create puppies. He didn't feel very aroused, but luckily nobody had told Eljay stories about how amazing sex was so he wasn't aware of the strangeness of that. Admittedly, his biggest reasons for wanting it were that he really liked Wiffle (and that she wanted this) and prime reason number one: that it would give them babies.

time for a morning after thread?