Noctisardor Bypass now i'm wandering around, wandering without a clue

would love for her to meet some more packmates - tagging @Praimfaya @Astraeus @Calcifer

Rivenwood was supposed to be just another stop on the road. Laurel had everything planned out; she would have a family with Xan, and she would make sure that the child that resembled Indra would be murdered before hers was born, so that she could have Indra back again. She needed Indra back again, so much...

Now, though, everything seemed different. Xan was gone. Those plans seemed so far off. Laurel wondered if they would ever return. She still longed for a family, but this time, the lies she had whispered into Xan's ears were the truth she felt in her heart; she just wanted a peaceful life. She just wanted peace and quiet. She wanted all those things she told Mahler about.

Now all she lacked was someone to share it with. Her Indra. Xan... She missed him, but she mostly missed the representation of what he was. She missed someone she could trust in this life, she missed... love. Had she ever loved him? She wasn't sure. Was trust truly love? But she had loved him, she had loved him when she had first borne his children.

Oh, Lucas...

All these wolves had taken different places in her life over time. Now, she was alone, but she still could not feel lonely with a gracious host such as Mahler around.

Time would tell if he could be her next Indra, or if he would turn out to be her next Iliksis. That was perhaps the most frightening thing of life these days.

Today though, Laurel was on a mission to learn more about the rest of the pack. She had met various pack mates, but not all of them yet. Laurel walked by the side of the northern mountains of the bypass, and she glanced up at them, wondering if she would ever learn to climb; was there truly an opportunity for someone of her age to learn new tricks such as climbing mountains, when she had dwelled on them only during travel throughout her whole life?

He thought about leaving her all the time, yet it wasn't until Larkspur went into heat that Tambourine actually made like a banana and split. He would never regret any of his children, though he couldn't bear repeating such a horrible mistake. His lips moved in silent apology to his kids, alive and dead, even as he ran like hell away from that horrible, horrible woman.

Tambourine drifted for a few days, occasionally battling with an urge to go back to her, despite himself. She was an awful partner, an even worse mother, and he'd wasted the prime years of his life entangled with her. But it was all he'd known for so long, he missed the comfortable familiarity of it.

"Dude," he said aloud, startling a robin from its bath in a nearby puddle, "that's fucked up and you know it. Just..." His pale eyes lifted with the bird, then noticed the bypass in the middle distance and fixed there. Tambourine slowed to a stop and cocked his head as the robin perched safely on a budding branch overhead.

"Well, shit," he blurted after a moment, a grin breaking out on his face, "it's been a minute, Teekons." He hadn't come here deliberately, yet he laughed as he broke into a trot, heading eagerly toward his hold stomping grounds and forgetting all about his impulse to run back into that miserable bitch's arms.

Speaking of terrible mothers, Laurel was taking a drink at the Bypass' lake and then started heading towards its western borders. She hadn't yet found any of her pack mates today; perhaps some of them were out patrolling? Laurel trotted towards the borders, where she found an unexpectedly somewhat familiar face. Was that Reek?

When she came closer she realised how dumb her initial assessment had been. First of all, what would Reek be doing here? (Laurel had no clue how close she was to the Grotto and to the forest where she was born) And second of all, he was probably long dead. One could always hope, she thought bitterly as she watched the approaching figure up ahead. He didn't seem to have noticed her just yet as he made his way towards the Bypass, and Laurel stood, not exactly a stalwart guardian. Her body was tense — because he was a man (because you know what men can do to you, dearest, and there's nothing you can do about it or their desires) — as she watched him; wary, apprehensive, but not backing down from her new pack's borders.

Roaming through these wilds was such a blast from the past! He had popped in a time or two since his childhood days, though Larkspur had never allowed them to stay anywhere for very long. Free of her now, he took the time to linger and marvel as memories slowly bubbled to the surface like a simmering pot of tomato soup. Stark, he thought with a twist of his lips, and Banner! He still didn't have the first clue what had ever become of them. Oh, and Silas... He remembered the two of them as young boys, declaring themselves best friends. Where was he now? He hadn't thought about them in years but Tambourine would never forget Marauder's Keep, specifically The Crook; his brief stay with Reek's pack; losing his toes; that damn bear...

After he'd left and come back the first time—before reuniting with his childhood "friend"—he remembered bumping into a beautiful girl, whose name he couldn't even remember. He did remember regaling her with the tales of his travels. And he'd thought he was a globetrotter then, a thought which made him laugh now. He tried to think of her name. Pretty sure it started with an "R," Tambourine mused as he moseyed. Eventually, he shook his head and moved further along memory lane. This was where he had conceived Ukelele with Poughkeepsie... well, not far from here, anyway. He stopped to ponder his surroundings, gauge whether anything was particularly familiar.

He knew, without a doubt, that this was the Teekon Wilds, though nothing in particular stood out to him just yet. He kept plodding along. He wondered if Lele or Harps had ever spent any time here. He knew his eldest daughter had been with him on one of his visits before Spur had swept them elsewhere. But what about his younger child? Tambourine's tail went rigid behind him as he stumbled over a tree root, stopping him from falling on his face. He doubted he would find Harps in this little corner of the world, though he supposed he could always ask around.

Eventually, he came closer to the landmark which had triggered his recognition: the bypass. And for the first time in days, Tambourine wasn't alone. Although he hadn't been a proper part of a pack in years, he minded his manners as he trotted closer and called out, "Hey!" As the word left his mouth, he realized something: without Spur constantly swatting his ass to get a move on, he could actually entertain the thought of settling down somewhere.

As he continued his approach, he called out to her with a 'hey'. Laurel watched him from afar and as he drew nearer, tensely so. She didn't recognise him when he came closer. Maybe somewhere at the back of her mind she vaguely recognised bits of him that her mind was unable to place in a specific situation, but she definitely didn't actively; she was too busy being scared of him.

But she was the pack wolf here and he was not, so she knew that she should be brave as well as have the upper hand if he tried anything funny. Laurel did not go too far out from the borders of the Bypass, standing like a guardian until he had drawn nearer. Hiya, she said, forcing a smile onto her face. She looked confident and bubbly on the outside, a real socialite, but in the inside fear was eating her up inside. Visiting anyone? she asked, considering he seemed to very pointedly head this way. Maybe he was just sentimental about this particular territory, just like Mahler. Laurel had learned through meeting Mahler though that sentimental men could be very dangerous for the wolves inhabiting a territory.

Of course, he wouldn't just throw himself at the first pack he came across, though learning about the options around here seemed like a pretty good place to start. Tambourine's heart skipped a couple beats, still marveling at this newfound sense of agency as he slowed to a stop a few yards from the she-wolf. She replied with a casual greeting that inspired several hardy wags of his tail. For a split second, he thought he recognized her. Was this the pretty girl of yore? The fur color was right, though she'd had green eyes, he was sure of it.

"Just you," he replied with a good-natured laugh. "My name's Tambourine. I grew up in this area and just returned, sort of accidentally. I figured I'd scope out the wildlife. I assume you're part of a pack here?" he inquired, gesturing at the bypass behind her.

Laurel blinked in initial surprise when he said that he was just visiting her. She realised only a moment later that he was either trying to flirt with her or that he was making a joke to signify that he was indeed not visiting anymore in particular. He introduced himself as Tambourine and said that he grew up in this area and he just returned. Sort of accidentally. Laurel thought that story was rather familiar; it was the story of how she and Indra returned to these lands, too.

Yes, Rivenwood lives here, Laurel said when he asked about the pack. I'm Laurel. I grew up in these parts myself. She didn't know just how close those parts really were; maybe she would find out some day if she took the time to explore. Where'd you grow up? Laurel asked curiously. He seemed about her age, after all. She didn't remember knowing anyone called Tambourine, though.

She offered up her name and the name of the pack fairly readily. Laurel of Rivenwood, Tambourine mused. Sounds like the main character in a fairy tale or something. His lips twitched. She'd grown up nearby too and wanted to know his details.

"I can't remember the name of the territory—except for The Crook, this cave we all used—but the pack was called Marauder's Keep. I lived there until the pack pulled a Roanoke one day. My best friend, Silas, and I were left behind. Fortunately for us, someone swung by and scooped us. I never stayed in one place for long after that, though."

His eyes traversed her face, looking for any signs of recognition. Were any of those names familiar to her? "What about you?" he queried.

Laurel listened, though the territory didn't come familiar to her. His story was so familiar to her, except she had no idea what 'a Roanoke' was. But growing up a place, then leaving, and then never staying long in one place? Yeah, that was it alright. She hoped it'd be different here, but, well...

The story managed to distract her from the fact that he was a man. Perhaps it gave her a false sense of security that they were focused on this story. He was here to rediscover old memories; not to hurt her. Why not both? Laurel's tail twitched in annoyance at the voice whispering venom in her ears, so she swiftly focused back on Tambourine, who asked her about her story then. What's 'pulling a Roanoke'..? Laurel asked with a curious cant of her head. Then she answered: The place I was born in was Phoenix Maplewood, but I don't remember it at all. When we were really little we moved to Silver Creek, so I only know the Maplewood from the stories my grandma used to tell me. Moved to Larksong Grotto when I was little, but... Also never really found a place to stay. Wolves are trash, she thought idly to herself. That was why she didn't manage to stay long in one place. They made it so hard to do just that. It was just me 'n my sister Indra, we moved around quite a bit, saw a lot of packs. Now she's gone, and I'm here. Laurel hesitated visibly before adding the last thing, afraid to show her fragile side. It was unusual for her to tell so much of herself to a stranger, a man particularly, but she felt some kind of connection considering they both grew up here.

Reminiscing the 'good' old days made her think of a lot of bullshit, such as her runaway entitled mom, her lying neglecting shit of a father and her aggressive thief of a stepmother... But it also made her think of Indra. Oh, sweet Indra.

"They vanished without a word or trace," Tambourine supplied with a crooked smile, then fell silent as Laurel told her story. Some of the names she mentioned sounded vaguely familiar, although not in a way he could place. His heart did a funny lurch when she said "lark," though she was only naming a landmark. His pulse was still thudding a little in his ears as she went on to mention a sister who was no longer with her. He wondered if she was simply elsewhere? Or was she dead?

There was a hesitation there at the end, though Laurel didn't specify and Tambourine didn't think it was prudent to ask. He did say, "I'm glad you had someone. I assume you were pretty close?" Maybe she wouldn't want to talk about it, in which case he would respectfully retreat. But he sensed more to that particular story and wanted to hear about this Indra, if Laurel wanted to share.

Laurel imagined Roanoke must be a person who tended to do that thing a lot. She knew some of those, herself. The way Tambourine grinned about it made it seem like some sort of inside joke that she wasn't a part of, which she didn't like, but she still sort of snickered at the joke as if she was; only fueled by her fear to do something, anything, to make him triggered and attack her.

When Tambourine continued to ask about her past and Indra, Laurel nodded. Yeah. She died. It seemed pretty clear, but just in case. Laurel looked away, nervously, as she felt exposed upon admitting that the only wolf in the world she trusted was no longer here. So now it's just me. She glanced back at Rivenwood, thinking of the new wolves she'd met; but she knew she could not trust them, ever. Not like Indra...

He winced slightly when Laurel confirmed his suspicions, offering, "I'm sorry for your loss, Laurel." It was a platitude, particularly coming from a stranger, but he meant it. He hadn't had any siblings growing up in Marauder's Keep but he'd certainly lost wolves close to him. In his case, many were disappearances, though the worst was the children he'd lost due to Larkspur's negligence.

"What about Rivenwood?" he queried next. Surely she must have connections here of some sort, otherwise why had she chosen this place to live? "What's the pack like? What do you enjoy about living here?"

His words meant little to Laurel, who learned that men would say anything to get what they wanted. She just nodded solemnly, showing the appropriate response because she figured that was what he wanted from her. She hated that she gave what she thought he wanted from her. Hated herself for it, hated him for demanding it (even though he didn't in any way). Normally she would tell others what she thought. Normally. Before... Before me, my dearest.

New things to focus on.

Rivenwood.

Rivenwood? she asked absent-mindedly. Oh, I joined it a few months ago — So I'm new, but the Bypass is beautiful and the leader Mahler is friendly. She smiled softly as she said it; these words were genuine, though she had not expected to say them months before when she joined Rivenwood.

She spoke highly of the leader, the territory too. His eyes drifted to the lands beyond her shoulder, taking in what he could see from this vantage point. It looked like a nice place to live. If he wanted, Tambourine could simply stop here and do that a while. The novelty of that thought made his stomach do funny and not entirely unpleasant things.

"I think I'd like to spend a little more time stumbling down memory lane," he thought aloud, "but if I decide I'd like to stick around these old stomping grounds on a more permanent basis, I'll keep this place in mind." Tambourine smiled and waved his tail. "Hey, thanks for your time, Laurel of Rivenwood. I won't take up any more of it, unless you want to hear a ton of boring stories about traveling," he said next, chuckling.

Tambourine glanced past her into the territories for a moment before he seemed to decide that he would keep travelling on. Laurel felt relieved to hear that, even though he'd given her no signals in any way that he would be dangerous to live with. She smiled off-handedly as he said he would not keep her any longer. A part of her wanted to say yes to the offer of stories — in hopes he won't hurt you, dearest? — to please him, to appease him, even though he did not seem unappeased.

In the end she mustered all her courage and said, somewhat bashfully as to not offend — another part of her mask — Ah... I wouldn't want to keep you from your travels, Tambourine.

She said she wouldn't keep him, which Tambourine took as a diplomatic way of letting him know she wasn't particularly interested in his tales. He chortled again, not offended in the least. He gave her one of his patent grins, bowed his head respectfully and swiveled on his long legs to keep traipsing deeper into his old homeland.

He bowed and left, and she kept the polite, sweet smile on her face until he was out of sight.

Finally, at last, she exhaled. Relief flooded her and Laurel choked away a frustrated sob as she watched him leave. She turned away from the borders again, eager to get deeper into Bypass territory.