Blacktail Deer Plateau Back in the days

i summon thee @Raleska plz

The time since passed between the coastal queen’s shunning and present-day went by unrecorded; he could no longer recall how long it’d been since he last saw her, the mere thought upsetting. To this day, Aningan could not fully believe what transpired, how the woman’s own daughter could so easily turn her away. Part of him wondered if he was daydreaming, yet the more time that passed, the deeper the truth was set into his bones; a truth so confusing that he could not face the girl that remained, troubled by what went on inside her head. But, at the same time, he knew he could not avoid her for all eternity.

Settling on his decision, Aningan sought out the girl, following the most recent scent he could locate.

Time had eaten away at Raleska, too. She felt tormented by guilt, and it had manifested in the form of stealing away into solitude. She avoided Erzulie, she avoided Rosalyn, and she even avoided Ani -- up until he came across her.

Her expression immediately became one of contrition. Her ears pulled forward, little wrinkles appearing across her forehead. Her eyes were wide, and sorrowfully dark -- she knew exactly why he was here.

"I'm sorry, Ani." Raleska mumbled into the air, the words listless and without much consolation.

It wasn’t long before he was standing across from her, body rigid as he tried his best to maintain his composure. He missed seeing her, speaking to her—he considered her a friend once, even family, but now he wasn’t so sure. She turned on her mother, sending her away from her own home, so who was to say she wouldn’t do the same to him? What was keeping her from turning her back on him, too, and leaving him with yet another member of his family gone from his life?

There was so much he wanted to say, and yet, all it took was her saying a few words for him to go silent. His shoulders began to shake whilst his eyes burned with tears, threatening to fall; he was frustrated, he was angry—but, most of all, he was hurt. “Why?” he barely managed to choke out. Why did she side against her own mother? “Why… why didn’t you let her stay?” Were his actions now for nothing? Had he challenged the male before him for nothing, the role he thought to hold for Caiaphas now without her to take it back? The one that provided him with a home when he was all alone, following an owl that was also now gone—betrayed by her own kin and vanished into the wilds, never to return.

It wasn’t fair.

Raleska saw out of the corner of her eyes, that Aningan was trembling. She quickly looked away, hurt to have witnessed such pain. Such pain she knew she had a part in inflicting.

It was too late for apologies, she knew. Like Aningan, she had a thousand things she wanted to say... yet, the moment that occasion rose to speak of them, the words died in her mouth. Where to even start? How to even start?

Raleska sucked in a deep breath, trying her best to speak clearly and strongly. She felt anything but those two words, as she began. "Ani, she was gone for so long.." Her gaze turned towards him, somber and with grief still in those yellow pools. "Almost a year.. and for what? While we almost died here. We had to move.. and she did so many things that made us enemies.. they could have turned on us, for her actions. When does it end? When does one life's vendetta become paid up? When everyone in Rusalka pays the price?"

Aningan could not still himself, a million emotions all boiling up within. Part of him wanted to yell, whilst another part couldn’t find his voice at all. She had a point, as much as he didn’t want to acknowledge it. She was gone for a long time—“But she was trying to find us!” he tried to argue, grasping for any footing he could find. She cared about them, about Rusalka. The entire time she was gone, she was searching for them, he was certain of it. She just couldn’t find her way home—they moved, after all. That was what made her take so long, it had to be!

But as much as he tried to reason against all that Caiaphas did, he couldn’t. The more Raleska said, the more at a loss he felt. The sea tried to destroy them—it nearly succeeded, too—and she was nowhere to be found during or after that. Those that held grudges against the sea queen could have easily kicked them while they were down, a retaliation against their former leader. “I don’t know…” he muttered, eyes downcast. He could feel his eyes burning, tears threatening to fall—and perhaps a few even managed to slip by. All of the reasoning in the world couldn’t stop his heart from aching, yearning to embrace the kindness she showed him.

“I just wanted her to stay…” To be home with them, with those he was able to meet only thanks to her. “I just wanted us all to be together again…” Everyone else got back who they lost. Those separated from them by the sea kept returning, day after day, filling those voids previously made. Yet the one that he hoped so desperately would return, was not someone that they could afford to welcome back.

Raleska understood. She didn't want to, but she understood. She knew that need to feel whole, just as much as Aningan did.

The tears that glittered, hard and fast in Anigan's gaze, were mirrored in her own. She had cast out her own mother -- and she knew, as Aningan knew, it was a betrayal that could not be taken back.

Yet she did it for the same reason her mother had campaigned endlessly against the wilds: for her family. It didn't matter her family was not uniquely blood -- for Raleska had chosen family elsewhere.. as like Aningan, her true family had scattered to the four winds.

There were a million things she wanted to say, to explain. She wanted to phrase them intelligently, poignantly.. and in the end she did neither. Her ears fell, and a look of defeat overtook her. "It sucks."

But it was right.

Aningan fell silent for a long moment, processing. There was so much he wanted to say—he wanted to argue his case, explain why she should be allowed to come back home but, the longer his silence went, the more he came to realise that she was right. She was right, as much as it pained him to admit it. His brow furrowed with frustration—it still wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair at all.

“Why’d she do it?” he broke the silence to ask. “Why’d she leave? Why’d she have to make enemies?” Why weren’t they enough to keep her home, to end her need for vengeance? Rusalka was her home and within it lived her family—they should have been enough for her.

Following Anigan's questions a silence spilled out between the two of them; one figure pale, the other dark -- both their expressions drawn in a long grimace of hurt and sorrow. Raleska heaved a sigh into the wind - she knew, and yet, had no way to formulate into words..

She shrugged her thin shoulders, giving Anigan a look of helpless surrender. "Because... it was who she was." It was best she could answer; it was just the way things were. The way they had always been. "I'm sorry, Ani." Raleska repeated again, her voice clouded by remorse.

It was who she was.

The answer was a simple one—but the simplicity of it did not make it any easier to accept. Couldn’t she change? Would she have changed, if given the chance? “I wish she was different,” he said, staring at his feet. If she were different, then maybe she could have stayed—maybe she never would have left to begin with. But Caiaphas was who she was, just as Raleska said, and maybe there was no way to change that.

“I’m sorry, Raleska,” he muttered back, unable to look her way. It wasn’t her fault, none of it was. He knew this, he really did, but he wanted someone to blame. He needed someone to blame, someone other than the sea witch.

Didn't they all? Raleska's eyes fell to the loam, glistening.

And what if she had been different? Would they be here today?

Raleska knew the futility of imagining the what ifs. Wasted time, wasted efforts, wasted thoughts. All they had was the now, the reality.

She hedged a long sigh against the wind, butting her head to Ani's shoulder. "Don't be," The Eyjolfur murmured, her voice more calm than she felt. "We still have each other."

That counted for something, didn't it?

we can wrap dis up if u want

Aningan kept silent, thoughtful. His mind wandered far, contemplating how their lives could have been. But when she bumped his shoulder he was brought back to reality, blinking slowly and then offering her a small, absent smile. “Yeah, at least we have each other.” The only pieces either of them held that remained, still, from the sound.

Raleska felt an old cloud of desolation descend her. She hedged a sigh into the bitter cold, thankful in that moment Aningan was still here even though everything else changed and everyone else left.

"And Rosalyn and Erzulie," Raleska added, feeling gratitude for the two matrons that had remained in her life all this time as well. "Hunt with me?"

She knew a hunt would take her mind off of the present, and bring her feet back to the ground. Waiting for Aningan, Raleska offered a brief smile and then made for the thinning trees where prey often foraged among the pinestraw for meals.