Ouroboros Spine weep for me, for I have no tears left

Skipping ahead a bit from this thread. Hoping for @Shikoba to join! @Kukutux is also welcome! :3

He rested now, tucked tightly within an ulaq he had been given. But he could not sleep. Slumber refused to accept him. So, instead, he would lie in silent agony. Though Moonwoman had tended him well, the pain would not yet entirely leave him. It clung on closely. Inutsuk was tired of it, but there was little else he could do.

In each waking moment, he stared at the wall. He thought of Shikoba often, a slight hope hanging over him that she would come to visit him. But he knew she was busy as sivullik and she was surely still angry with him for leaving. 

As for Kukutux, he often wondered what her thoughts were. Did she loathe the man for abandoning the village many times over? Inutsuk would have liked to ask; but again, she too was busy tending to her people — the people he once called his, but is now unsure if he will ever have the right to do so again.

<333 apologies now if she says anything mean 

the position of sivullik was something that shikoba prided herself on. it represented the hard work she has put in for Moonglow and the trust that not only moon woman and sun man has put into her, but the rest of the village that resides in the spine. it was proof that shikoba was unwavering in her work and in her family. it proved that she was constant.

yet everything else in her life has undergone a metamorphosis. her son has disappeared, akin to his father. though only the latter has returned to the borders of the spine, perhaps a bit unwelcomed by the native. as far as shikoba was concerned, inutsuk was only a spirit after she saw him before the death songs were sung. when he did not return, she had to cast away all the thoughts she had of his body and soul. her focus remained on Moonglow only.

now, he remains in an ulaq that he once dug for himself. no longer wrapped up in the furs that she had collected or even her own warmth. and perhaps this was punishment in itself. personally, shikoba would have demanded he sleep outside, but she knew that his health must return before she can demand answers. and so, she stands before the mouth of his ulaq with a ptarmigan hanging from her jaws.

her expression is hard to read, perhaps letting on the fact that she was unsure of being here in the first place. she may have let him in, but that does not mean he is completely welcomed back into her embrace yet. she offers a chuff, letting him know of her presence. she would expect him to eat the bird, and if his strength had somewhat returned, she would then begin the inquisition.

Inutsuk heard as the leaves from outside the ulaq began to shuffle. His gaze had been fixed upon the entrance, so he could see her clearly as she entered. A bird hung low in her jaws. Truthfully, he wasn't too hungry, but he knew that refusing sustenance wouldn't help his health at all.

There were many words, within both. But nearly spoke yet. He knew that Shikoba had questions to ask him and anger to vent. Inutsuk was prepared for both, regardless of how much it would sting. 

Shikoba has questions, He rasped, reaching to accept the gift of a meal. Inutsuk will answer each, with the hope for patient ears. It was much to ask for, given his crimes, and he would not expect her mercy in this.

his voice sounds weak, though the familiarity of it does bring about something fluttering in her chest. and for a moment, she thinks selfishly. he dares demand patience from his wife who felt abandoned in their marriage? her jaw tightens as she hears this, but reminds herself that she cannot receive answers if he does not feel safe enough to speak. 

she swallows her anger, to the best of her ability.

"why did inutsuk leave?" this would be his first burning question, and perhaps the most difficult to answer. however, shikoba would demand retribution either way for the crimes against her by inutsuk.

"Why did Inutsuk leave."

He knew better than to not expect this question first. It was the simplest, yet the hardest all at once. The answer was close in reach, but Inustuk struggled to find the words. No matter which he used, none could make an answer that was worthy. Honest, but never worthy.

Swallowing hard, the tawny man looked to the woman he once called wife. I left... Silence. Only for a moment. ... I feared myself, as both husband and father. After Mojag was born, I was overjoyed, but also overwhelmed. Never in my life have I experienced love-.. such as what I feel for you... nor did I ever think I would father a child. Inutsuk looked to his paws, daring not to look too hard in her gaze.

... I feared that I would not be enough for you... for Mojag. I had spoken to sunman and moonwoman, but I needed different advice from another husband and father. But that wasn't the whole truth. I think that part of me was searching for another excuse to say I was no good for you, so that I could leave you the space to find someone better. He did not deserve her, no matter how many times he was told it was not so. 

Then he looked to her, eyes holding great pain from within. It was not the pain of his healing sickness and wounds; it was the pain he knew she felt, and the sorrow that he'd caused it. It was not my intention to be gone for so long, but the more I walked, the further engrossed I became in my thoughts of doubt. My heart desired to return to you, and to our son... but the rest of me clung on, continuing to say you were better without me. I lost my way... and I do not wish to be lost anymore- I want to come home, is what he truly meant to say. But such was selfish. Maybe Shikoba did not want him to come home.

she had not planned on taking another husband, nor probably bringing another litter into this world after the troubles with her first. she could not bare the sight of more stillborn from her womb. even more so, she had planned on having her bride price paid, as something to prove inutsuk was the hunter shikoba expected him to be. she had talked to moon woman about this. "mojag never saw inutsuk as tataa," she says to him, settling to speak, "he disappeared sometime after you." she can feel her heart twisting itself but she manages to keep her words calm and straightforward.

it was true, mojag had never truly gotten too close to inutsuk. a few interactions when he was young, of course. but as mojag aged, inutsuk was not present for such milestones. not for his first hunt or anything of the sort. shikoba has raised him by herself, and it has been the family of the spine who has stepped in in replacement of the father. both sun man and rodyn have been part of mojag's life consistently, if not from the beginning but during the critical times of his development. that was something inutsuk would never be able to get back.

she turns her head away from him, lips pulled up in a pained expression. mojag had calmed her when she had meant to speak to him about the disappearance of inutsuk. her son was more of a protector than her husband. and for a moment, shikoba snaps. "I tried to help," she says through gritted teeth, "but inutsuk always pushed me away." she remembered the day that she asked about names, and the cold shoulder her husband had offered. 

she turns to face him, tears burning her skin as they are caught within her tufts of fur. "How do I trust you again? To stay here with Moonglow? With ME?" shikoba cries out, frustrated in so many ways yet still holding onto the hurt she has tried so hard to bury.

Ears pinning back against his skull, Inutsuk winced. Shikoba was upset. He knew that. But it still hurt to hear these things.

You shouldn't have to... I should have never left in the first place, A hard truth; but if he could have, he would have gone back and done differently. ... but I am willing to earn this trust again, by any means. Crawling closer, the tawny man reached a paw out to her. I don't want this to be the end of us...

he was willing to work, or so he says at least. 

she would have to put him to the test then. but for a moment, she thinks of the softness that lingers in his touch. it is not in her nature to want to be cruel. but it is within her right to demand tribute from the man who promised her everything yet left her with nothing.

she could not send him after mojag. her little boy would not even recognize his father.

so instead, she must think of the tasks she had spoken to the moon woman about. she sniffles for a moment, shaking loose tears from her face as sulphuric eyes stare at her husband.

"then inutsuk will prove it." this would be his penance, his work to be done in order to receive her trust and the trust of Moonglow. but should he fail to provide or leave again, she would expel him from her lands and her heart.

"when you are better," she stands up now, retracting herself away from him, "we will talk. about what is to be done." 

we can continue here if you'd like or jump ahead to a present-date thread after inutsuk is a little more healed up. whatever yu prefer!

I think here is a good place to shift to a new one, yes. ^^

Shikoba withdrew, again. There was yet another pang of hurt within, but he knew it could not be helped. She held anger and pain, and rightfully so. Inutsuk could not make this go away so quickly, but he would do everything possible to see it gone soon.

Whatever tasks Shikoba gives, I will complete willingly and without fuss. Though he was not completely better, he hoped to be soon. The quicker he could begin to slither his way back into her good graces, and also with Moonglow, the better.

"it will be done."

without another word, she would turn away to leave him with his meal and perhaps to let him rest more. she would call for him when the time came. but for now, time was all that he needed. and it was something that shikoba did not have the patience for. as the days would come to roll on, she would think of the tasks to give him.

last from me, feel free to reply or archive!