May 02, 2020, 11:53 AM
Even if she wanted to listen (and how she wanted to, to listen, to say it was okay, to make up -- anything but this tense standstill where neither wolf had higher ground), Raleska found that the longer they stood there, the more she remembered how lost at sea she had been following Kaertok's departure.
The blame wasn't entirely his; his leaving just happened to be the nimble seam-ripper that had quickened all the loose threads, and sent everything downhill.
The more she listened, the more she realized he wasn't coming back so things could be how they were. It was hard to stomach he had his own life, and she wanted to selfishly tell him he couldn't -- but that wouldn't be fair to him. Embracing this change, however, didn't feel fair either. Somehow, they both got the short end of the stick.
"You know where I'm staying. Rusalka." She supplied thickly, jaw tensed. Unlike him, she had never left.
Wading through all of these emotions was like swimming under molasses; slow, choking, and so damn muddled she couldn't see where she was going. "I can't --" She started, paused, started again. "You can't just come back and expect everything to be the same. I can't.." What, forgive him? "So - you're going to help these other people --" Shades of jealousy here, because Raleska felt she deserved that help more -- " .. and then maybe leave them too? Why can't you just stay in one place, Kaertok?" Her tone took on an edge of barely controlled emotion: of hurt, of frustration, of retaliation. "Why do you think you can come and go in people's lives? Why is it so hard just -- to just --" Her rage was building, but Raleska was losing steam -- she didn't have the energy for this kind of battle.
She stopped abruptly, her jaws clasped shut and eyes hard. For a long moment it seemed as if she would continue, maybe even backtrack -- but it was too late. Too much had been done, too much he had missed. "I need some time alone." If he tried to talk her out of it, he would find her teeth -- Raleska was already heatedly striding away.
The blame wasn't entirely his; his leaving just happened to be the nimble seam-ripper that had quickened all the loose threads, and sent everything downhill.
The more she listened, the more she realized he wasn't coming back so things could be how they were. It was hard to stomach he had his own life, and she wanted to selfishly tell him he couldn't -- but that wouldn't be fair to him. Embracing this change, however, didn't feel fair either. Somehow, they both got the short end of the stick.
"You know where I'm staying. Rusalka." She supplied thickly, jaw tensed. Unlike him, she had never left.
Wading through all of these emotions was like swimming under molasses; slow, choking, and so damn muddled she couldn't see where she was going. "I can't --" She started, paused, started again. "You can't just come back and expect everything to be the same. I can't.." What, forgive him? "So - you're going to help these other people --" Shades of jealousy here, because Raleska felt she deserved that help more -- " .. and then maybe leave them too? Why can't you just stay in one place, Kaertok?" Her tone took on an edge of barely controlled emotion: of hurt, of frustration, of retaliation. "Why do you think you can come and go in people's lives? Why is it so hard just -- to just --" Her rage was building, but Raleska was losing steam -- she didn't have the energy for this kind of battle.
She stopped abruptly, her jaws clasped shut and eyes hard. For a long moment it seemed as if she would continue, maybe even backtrack -- but it was too late. Too much had been done, too much he had missed. "I need some time alone." If he tried to talk her out of it, he would find her teeth -- Raleska was already heatedly striding away.
all of which makes me anxious,
at times unbearably so.
at times unbearably so.
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Messages In This Thread
the fat pelican - by RIP Kaertok - March 20, 2020, 11:38 AM
RE: the fat pelican - by Raleska - March 20, 2020, 01:07 PM
RE: the fat pelican - by RIP Kaertok - April 03, 2020, 05:59 PM
RE: the fat pelican - by Raleska - April 12, 2020, 12:12 PM
RE: the fat pelican - by RIP Kaertok - April 13, 2020, 10:03 PM
RE: the fat pelican - by Raleska - April 21, 2020, 03:06 PM
RE: the fat pelican - by RIP Kaertok - April 23, 2020, 03:34 PM
RE: the fat pelican - by Raleska - April 24, 2020, 10:59 AM
RE: the fat pelican - by RIP Kaertok - April 24, 2020, 03:44 PM
RE: the fat pelican - by Raleska - April 28, 2020, 10:02 AM
RE: the fat pelican - by RIP Kaertok - April 29, 2020, 08:08 PM
RE: the fat pelican - by Raleska - May 02, 2020, 09:14 AM
RE: the fat pelican - by RIP Kaertok - May 02, 2020, 11:26 AM
RE: the fat pelican - by Raleska - May 02, 2020, 11:53 AM
RE: the fat pelican - by RIP Kaertok - May 02, 2020, 11:59 AM