Neverwinter Forest i really miss those days.

oct 1st, @Mal

 

Huā had accepted them in, Renard more reluctantly so than PPaismfaya-now she traveled to Neverwinter again. Somewhere along her trip a sickness had caught hold of her- and she waited it out for some days that felt rather long at a point in between. Once she was recovered she set out again, cursing the illness for slowing her movement. Reaching Neverwinter's doorstep was a breath of relief- though she knew this would be no easy conversation, considering she was about to pile more heavy news atop the already-hurting Mal. Frowning, she sighed, and threw back her head to call for her friend.

Gettin' this on ze threadlogerinos! I know we mentioned prioritizing the other thread so.. May be edited if we pause here? XD

Assuming nothing completely nutty happens in the other thread, Mal was happy to hear her howl, starting on over to where she called from. Maybe since he was at least feeling a bit better about things, they could work out when might be good for him to come by. Sure, there were still many things that were up in the air, and he'd have to figure out who would keep watch over Caerus and Liliana and stuff but... It might be workable.

So, he appeared on the scene not too much later, a light smile on his face and a wag to his tail. He might not be the happiest dude around still, but he did at least appear to be feeling a little bit more like himself. Hey you. Happened to be in the area? He probably still felt foolish for how he was acting before, even if it was legitimate for him to be so -- but that didn't mean he liked being seen in such a state... Especially not by certain people he had wanted to impress.

When he arrived, Huā was delighted to see he was looking slightly more himself, tail wagging and a little smile upon his maw. Still, she recalled how eager he'd been last time to embrace her affections- thus she'd do the most, even if it felt too bold for such an unclear relationship. Huā reached out to nuzzle his cheek a little before placing a lap there, and pulling away to look upon him with a wide grin. 

His question caused the light to fall slightly from her face, as her ears pinned almost embarrassed against her black head. Oh, I wish... She sighed with a slow shake of her head. But you know how it always is. One thing, and then a new one. Are you okay to hear news right now? It is not a big deal one, but. I think maybe I should ask.

I got distracted in the middle, I hope this makes sense still, heh.

He did relax a little when she nuzzled him, his smile softening. He tilted his head slightly so he could lick her muzzle as he'd done times before, his weight shifting to sort of lean towards her, apparently he would have been happy for more but apparently not to be.

Nah, couldn't ever just be for fun -- that actually would be fun. So.. Business. That's pretty much how it is, yeah. But he nodded then, though with a curious tilt of an ear, I pretty much have to be. I hope it's not bad news though, we've certainly had enough of that for our lifetimes. Any sort of business trip sort of made him wary. But she didn't seem super worried so maybe it was really no big deal? But, not really giving her enough time to answer, he continued, Are you going to have to head back right away or can I convince you to stay a little bit and at least share a meal? At least then they could have something nice out of it.

perfectly good :P

 

He returned her affection for a moment, and her heart fluttered, but when he told her he hoped it wasn't bad news, her expression twisted into something like a regretful wince. I hope it is not too bad news- I do not think it is, WOOO~ news, but it may be good for us, long-term. I just want you to listen with open mind. She took a deep breath and looked into his eyes, but he began to ask after whether she would stay- Of course we can eat something together~ She laughed, slightly flirtatious, and inwardly wished that that part could come first. She didn't want their time together soured by the news if Mal didn't take it well. She prepared herself to share again, Remember how you said that, uh, dog-wolf that looked like Donovan, tried to attack you? She could already feel herself having trouble making eye contact, feeling slightly ashamed. Well... I do not think you met Praimfaya. But she is a ally of mine, who told me about how Nemisis attacked her back then. She told me she stayed with the Saints for a time as a spy- and gave me so much information. She is young, but very talented warrior, very smart girl. 

She came to Yuèlóng... with the dog wolf too. They wanted to stay. Praimfaya told me how the Saints alliance with their one ally fell apart. And Renard, that is the male- I asked him, how can you come here, after what you did to Mal, and Mal's friend?! Well- this man has a strange way of thinking. He tells me about how Donovsn kidnaps Hide, and he does not agree with this- and he thinks, it is better to scare away the lone visitors... so that this does not happen more. And instead in the future when we came, we would come in large strong numbers. A shrug of her shoulders. Renard says he did it to seem like a good saint to Donovan, but he serves Praimfaya above all. He tells me Donovan only sees the problems right in front of him. He says he is stupid, and we do not need to overestimate him; he is a fool. She had definitely inserted some of her own feelings in there, but it was about how she had interpreted Renard's words, considering her existing bias against the ugly mutt. I... I took him in, as the lowest rank, a servant. It was worth it, to gain Praimfaya. She lives to destroy the saints now- and Renard says her allies are his allies. I am waiting until he shows me I can trust him, before he is no longer a servant. And there she stopped and sighed, and dare to try and make shy eye contact with the Neverwinter leader again.

Being told to listen to something with an open mind was never a good sign. Had he said that when he'd told her about his other children? He couldn't remember, probably not -- that was far more of an emotional spewing than something with lots of forethought. On the other hand, at least she seemed to think that whatever it was wasn't big enough to likely nix his invitation. He smiled back there and wagged his tail, but he was a little hesitant. What was she going to say? 

What Hua did say came out of left field -- of all the things he thought of, that psycho showing up again wasn't anywhere on the map. None of it sounded good to Mal. Hell, the description she gave made him sound even more unpredictable and unsafe to him. It was one thing for Renard to be under command of some pack of jerks that were likely instructed to cause trouble, but then to find out he did it of his own volition for convoluted goals? Mal wanted to believe it would be easy for her to keep the man in line, but Mal's thoughts of him were quite poisoned by the attacks that had happened, for quite reasonable reasons, How.. how could he really be trusted? Like ever? Do you really think Praimfaya has that much control over him? I mean, you even say he just did whatever he wanted. How do you make sure he's not a territory or two away messing with people he shouldn't be just like before, but now in the name of Yuelong? What about our children? He sure as hell hoped that freak wasn't allowed anywhere near them. If he was attacking people for the lulz, Mal hoped he wasn't allowed near anyone who couldn't defend themselves -- hell,  he'd prefer Renard wasn't anywhere near Hua. He was confused and a little hurt, but mostly the former.

Well shit. Things did not go over as smoothly as whatever happy little easy conversation she had imagined on the way there, and she definitely hadn't prepared for this response. Any physical closeness she had shared with him in that moment- the slightly over-friendly invasion into his bubble, whatever breath they shared, was snapped like a twig as she took a step back from him, narrowing her eyes as he spoke. Most of it was only annoying, but it was the final string of words that caused irriated fur to raise along her spine, and her brows to furrow in an angry knot. 

What about our children?

She wasn't thinking about the recent death of Cupid or how it might be affecting him in that moment, and only could only register the thought: How dare you pretend to give a damn about our children! She'd done it all on her own, and she always said she was fine with it, but she fucking wasn't. Here he stayed all day with his damn harem, and had the balls to imply she wasn't careful enough about her own litter. Last she'd checked, hers didn't have trauma, or dead parents (that she knew or thought of- RIP Dacio), and certainly hadn't dissapeared into thin air- unlike several of his. All his other reasonable questions flew in one ear and out the other for now- 'What about our children?' The children I raised? The ones who are not missing, or recovering from attack?! She hissed, and though would regret it later, did not at present care how her words might wound- Looking at history, my children are safer at Yuèlóng than the happy place you think you created here! She spat, and lashed her tail. Why don't you worry more about all the kids you made here?! I have protected mine alone all this time- and I can keep doing it!

He was not expecting the ire spat at him. His expression shifted, falling swiftly from concern to very clearly showing how much she'd wounded him. He had thought they were on the same page -- she'd always agreed with him before, and he'd often said he wanted to do more and now she was turning a blade right into that hole in his armor. Where had this even come from?

Mal had shrank. Hua, he choked, mouth moving wordlessly like a goldfish's for a moment after that. He looked at her imploringly, no hint of anger, just sorrow and confusion, The children you didn't tell me existed? The ones that didn't know who I even was when you were all staying with my pack? You know all I've wanted is to be able to be a good father for them -- to be there for you. I-- I don't understand. His voice was near-keening, I said I'd do whatever you needed me to do, be who you needed me to be when you were worried about not having a husband, I heard nothing. I said I wanted to be there as their father, they didn't know. Please, tell me how I can make you happy because that's all I've wanted to do. What had he missed? Whatever it was, Mal was sure he was just stupid. He'd probably ruined everything somehow. Some part of him just wanted to run away and leave the whole thing, but he stood because he couldn't bring himself to do so. Did she actually want to destroy him? Had all their fun times been a lie?

It would've been easier to keep spitting cruel accusations at him if he'd gotten angry in return: flared up himself, shouted back or furrowed his brows in the same pissed-off manner that she did. Instead he was hurt. Watching him shrink and say her name was like a knife of guilt straight to her gut, and her gaze fell, failing to look at him even as the fur stood along her spine. She listened silently with ears that tilted towards him even as she stared down at her paws. It was definitely her fault for not telling the kids about Mal. But how could she have explained it? Yeah, you have a dad but he lives far away with his other kids and the mothers of his other kids. If she had started with that message early, it probably wouldn't have been hard to understand- but it was burned in Huā's brain that this arrangement was unusual, abnormal, taboo- and was better to be shoved under a rug than displayed proudly. Wouldn't her mother have been ashamed of her, raising those four bastards and allowing herself to be the mistress? 

The siren wanted to hold her energy for a moment longer, to stay angry- because how often did she get to yell and let it all out? But his expression made it hard, and all the spiking of her fur that resulted from her feelings was soon shrinking back down, even as her brows remained knotted. Mal, She returned, still looking down. I- I- I'm sorry. For hiding him from their children. For being cruel to him and having unclear expectations. For being selfish and jealous. I... I did not know how to tell them who you were! You were far away, and- and- And her voice broke, and she hung her head. It was too compli-cated. And- you choose your other children, and your concubines, over me and our children every day you stay here with them! If it was so easy, I would want you to marry me, and let us become a proper family! But you- how can you make me happy? She cried, It would make me happy to be your wife. But you took too many lovers, and now I do not think that reality is possible. Because no matter where you go, you will leave a piece of your family behind. She whined, and looked up to him finally with wet eyes.

At the word 'concubines' he looked confused -- in this case, because he didn't have that word in his vocabulary so he had no idea what she was meaning. But even if he did, he'd have been confused still, as one person he had a child with was dead, another clearly didn't like him... So obviously plural was right out. But he couldn't be angry, he just wanted things fixed, he wanted things to work. Maybe all the bad things were just on him. And honestly, he was not good at any of this, as many past conversations had shown. He didn't want to hurt Hua in any way, every time he had mentioned that he wanted to make her happy had always been the truth, but he wasn't always sure that's what he got from her in return. You could have just told them I existed. And what did you think I was offering you months and months ago? Which she had never followed up on. Ok, sure, he hadn't been clear but retrospect made it super clear to him at least. Maybe back then it was just so you didn't feel awkward in front of your people, but I've never taken that off the table. Which was also true, but he hadn't brought it back up either, mostly because to him the silence was a definite no, and he didn't want to be embarrassed by forcing her to say it. But apparently it wasn't? Goddamn it were all people so confusing? Maybe now it's just more complicated, but still an option?

He wanted to go over and comfort her, to hold her, to do something, but her response overall had him frozen to his spot. This was all why he'd wanted to talk to Hua first, but that chance had been pretty well ruined by all the drama that had happened while Yuelong had stayed in Neverwinter. When you were with us I thought that was going to be perfect chance -- we could have worked it all out and been a real family together. I wanted you to be able to meet everyone, have it be like a second home -- but we know how things went. It was an awful month. And when half the time I tried to show that I liked you you'd act all odd, then other times it was like you did too, I didn't know if I should do more. But I do want to be with you, that hasn't changed. Could he prove that was true somehow? Would his honest, open glance allow her to see that?

But back to being imploring, We both knew it wasn't going to be normal, it wasn't going to be easy, even without worrying about families -- we run packs, different ones that we worked to build. We can make it work, I'm sure of it. It just won't be some traditional thing -- but it can still be full of happiness and love and everything, we just have to try. He'd do what he needed to. For once in his life he just wanted things to work out nicely, let everyone be happy. Mal leaned forward just a little, but stayed rooted to his spot, I want to try. Didn't she want to too?

Months ago? You told me to call it a sacrifice, something planned. She shook her head, tears starting to flow from the corners of her eyes- You offered me your help, vaguely as that. Nothing more! What have you not taken off the table? Do not lie to me and tell me you said more! Was he going to pretend he had offered her his hand paw in marriage? Huā sighed, frustrated; just because he had thought of something did not mean he had spoken it aloud. If only he had done so back then: their relationship might not have ever come to the risky, unstable point it was at in this moment. 

He talked about the month they'd had together- that month which could've been the perfect chance to figure everything out. Instead people went missing, were kidnapped or died, and there had been little time to talk about them, and where they stood. Here Huā gave only the slightest dip of her chin into a nod- a small agreement in spite of her upset with him. When he talked about her acting odd, her brows knitted in confusion. What had been odd to him- her avoidance of affection, that was- had been subtlety to her, modesty. Back home that kind of carefulness was good, especially when it had been in the presence of Cupid- because Mal was a bachelor with unclear relations to each of his co-parents in her eyes, and never did she wish to be too physically affectionate to someone who was not single. And in private, when she did not have to fear the gazes of judgemental other women, she had tried to be close to him, and showed him how she cared. But perhaps the signs had not been clear enough. It still would've been nice if she could explain more about her culture to him, at least the one she'd grown up with. It still influenced her actions to this day. 

At his last few phrases she looked away from him, even turning her head to shield him from the sight of her steadily flowing tears. She sniffed a deep breath through her nostrils. 

We can make it work, I'm sure of it

we just have to try

I want to try.

She felt she was beginning to understand what he was saying. The part about it being non-traditional- well, that was a whole nother deal, and she interpreted it merely as their long-distance arrangement. But wasn't he telling her he was willing? Her heart trembled wildly and she looked back to him, blinking away the glassiness and fixing her gaze on him.

You want to... try? Are you... are you going to... ask me? Huā watched him expectantly, and stood as stiff and tense as an iron statue with breath held tightly in her lungs.

He said, hushed, I thought it was obvious. Apparently not. I though that.. That saying nothing meant you didn't want it at all. So I was wrong. But it wasn't the point of this all now. There were more important topics.

Hold on, hold on, he said, though it pained him kind of to do so, like he was stabbing himself along with possibly her as well. He was afraid of getting his own hopes up, let alone hers. I want to -- I want to. But I've made things complicated -- I know it's all my fault. Understatement of the year, Because I didn't know what a relationship should be, or if I wanted one, or what I wanted it to look like or anything. Maybe, beneath the surface I sort of knew but I sure went about it the wrong way. But I think I'm just not wired the same as everyone else -- at least when it comes to this. But it was all his fault. his whole talk was painted with an imploring tone. He wanted this all to work. Somehow. Please. About relationships. It all felt like it so badly could go south, but here was Mal, being honest, being open -- not that it was unusual for him to be either of those, especially to the women he trusted. Or wanted to trust, at the very least.

How did he explain it? All the concepts were still new. Under a week? He wasn't sure how to use them all still. He'd wanted a little more time to prepare... I think it's just.. When some people dream of their future mate, I guess mine was a group where all loved each other, happy together. It's just a dumb dream but... He looked down a moment in sort of reflection-recognition, his next words a little darker, because he didn't like them, I... I guess technically my dad was the same way. Being anything like his father wasn't something Mal liked to admit. He wasn't a fan of Delight, hadn't been since he was a child. It bothered him. And I think it's why I messed up... Over and over, before I understood what I wanted.

He looked up again, I want us to be together. But I also want to know -- would you ever be interested in that sort of dream? Of being in a relationship with multiple people? Quickly clarifying, And I don't mean just as something with me at the center. I mean you too -- would you ever want to have a husband and a wife? Two husbands? More or something else like that? Because I know that's not the usual but.. It all still sounds good to me -- if we do it right. which he wanted to believe. And if yes then--- yes. But if not -- I just.. I want to be with you, and work it out somehow. Just-- to talk about it, figure it out with either answer. Because... Everything. Something. Somehow. For once, let his life be happy, even if he felt like right now he was grasping at straws. Because if she was offended by the very suggestion and left, there was no point in even bringing up Aibreann... But he wouldn't know where that would leave them.

HUA COMING OUT DAY WOOO

Obvious? 

She shook her head fiercely and frowned silently, unable to clear the mix of hope and hurt from her gaze. 

His immediate response to her question wasn't exactly perfect. In an ideal world, he'd drop to a wolf knee or whatever wolves would do right then and there, pull out a ring made of twigs and dirt, and propose that they spend the rest of their lives together and grow old. And she'd fall into his arms and they'd be planning their beach wedding soon enough. 

Instead he told her to hold on, and whatever piercing he felt in his heart was felt in hers tenfold. If he really wanted her, why would he tell her to wait? How complicated did it have to be? These were the worries that filled Huā's mind, and as he spoke she felt she was holding her breath, somehow expecting at each point that he would tell her some reason they couldn't be together and end their complex relationship for good.

When some people dream of their future mate, I guess mine was a group where all loved each other, happy together.

A... group?

Back home, a honorable man with high status might have three or four wives- well, in those cases, it was a primary wife and concubines- she didn't want to be a second choice. She didn't want to be the mistress who bore his children and didn't recieve the most of his love. And of course that wasn't what Mal was saying- and she was trying her best to understand, but she already had these preconceived ideas. 

He mentioned his father, but didn't seem particularly overjoyed about that part- not that any of this really came off as ecstatic. 

At the last bit, she was nearly ready to call him selfish, but his clarification helped greatly. Her eyes widened when he suggested that she could have a wife- or two husbands- or anything like that. The way she'd been raised, women weren't the ones who got to have multiple spouses. And women! Huā had always secretly liked them, of course, but it had always been hidden from everyone except pretty strangers upon the beach; she-wolves she was sure she would likely not meet again. 

He finished speaking. 

Huāzhēn was quiet for a long moment. 

He'd already suggested it, but she needed to tell him anyways. Maybe it wasn't a big deal to him, but it sure was to her-

Mal, She croaked, and cleared her throat. I never told anyone this- not even Ying, or Mei, or Aiolos or anyone. But- well, maybe it is normal to you, it seems more often here- but, at home it is not really... we do not talk about this, it is like a, something we can not talk about- but, always I have liked women. Liked, in the way of romance, She breathed, and gulped, And wished to make love. And... I... Miriam, I met her. She was a beautiful woman. I think, a lady like that... I would not mind to have as a wife. I would want it, want her. She declared, voice steadier as she continued. Although...

I do not want to be your... your womb to expand your bloodline, or a body to plant your seed, or anything like this. I want to be your loved wife. Equal to all your other women. Mal was already proposing that, she supposed, but she wanted to be sure they were on the same page. She gulped to imagine becoming to him what she had once been for strangers- only a body- and though in that case she had not walked willingly into it, as she might now, she did not ever wish to be in that position again. 

He'd asked if she'd be interested in a dream like that. 

I would want to meet the other women, She decided, And see, if I could grow to love them, and them to love me. If we... if we do this, I do not want a wife who will fight me for your love always. I want all of us to be in love. She looked hopefully up into his eyes. What if I do not like your other women? Will you pick them over me? Her gaze fell awkwardly.

At a different time, she might've worried over how to break the concept of this unconventional type of marriage to her children and pack. For now, those thoughts did not brush her mind at all.

Well, so far at least this was going better than he was expecting. He was feeling like maybe there was hope. You are more than just some body. You are someone who I want in my life -- as my wife, yes, if you'd have me as a husband. But would she? When everything was discussed, at least?

But as she continued with her admission, he tilted his head curiously. Miriam? Okay, not who he was expecting. I don't know what Miriam thinks, honestly. About me, at least. I sort of think she and I don't operate on the same wavelength. I've tried. Which was frustrating. But so far all of his interactions with Miriam were just plain odd and he wasn't sure that was gonna change any time soon. I'm definitely not one to talk to about stuff being normal or not -- nobody ever said anything to me. I just -- I think people should be allowed to be happy. To like who they like, to be with who they want as long as everyone involved agrees. He'd be a hypocrite otherwise. He really hadn't thought too much about whether he did have much of a preference. He just kind of flirted with people and stuff happened. Uhh. Probably not the way to go about it, huh?

But you should meet Aibreann. She was the one who mentioned that had mentioned the whole uhhh -- polyamory thing. That it existed, and was something specific. And that she wanted to meet you, too. Which he thought was a quite hopeful sign. Right? She's the one here I'm, uh -- with? -- here. He still wasn't sure which word was really the right term, especially since it was so new. We decided the other day to raise children together again in the coming year. I asked what about you -- she was okay with me having other relationships. Or -- how to phrase it -- she wouldn't fight you. A sort of pause. I mean... I would greatly prefer if the three of us were all like.. together, together. It just seems better to me. A little sheepish perhaps. But that was what he'd prefer. It's all new to me -- I'm still trying to figure out the details. I was going to head over to Yuelong to talk to you about it and ask you, but you got here first. She had caught him off-guard after all. Because if this is gonna work, it's best to work out everything when it's new, right?

Wave-length? She murmured after him, missing that piece of vocabulary, but his tone made the meaning clear. It was dissapointing that Miriam and Mal didn't click- Huā would've enjoyed being part of that, certainly.  He explained how he didn't have a set standard of 'normal'- just wanted happiness for everyone. It sounded like an optimist's dream, but she enjoyed his perspective anyway, wishing she was as carefree as she believed him to be. Huā wondered if he cared about who she flirted with on the side, in the way that she cared greatly over what women held his heart. Did he not mind if she was out there, with the Dacios and Abaddons of the world? Did he not wish to tie her down and make sure she belonged to no other? She wasn't sure how it made her feel. Part of her secretly wanted that freedom- the other part, believing him too laid back to be a good husband. It was difficult for her to dissect her own feelings; she was momentarily grateful when he brought up Aibreann. 

Was she here in August? It is strange, I do not think I see her at that time... The empress mumbled. Polyamory, another new word. But I would be... happy to meet her. I hope she is beautiful, Huā laughed nervously, feeling strange in being so vulnerable about her draw to women.

His next words were... With? A tilt of her dark head; what did he mean? Had he not already been with her for the past many months here? She didn't really understand, until he kept going. We decided the other day to raise children together again in the coming year. Her brows furrowed and she frowned. What? I- ...what? Are you just... you are just, together now? Having children every year like married couple? Huā scoffed in disbelief, lashing her tail once in the air, turning away from him and then back, her face a mixture of hurt and confusion. I am glad you mention me, and I want to work it out too. But it seems already you are so...so serious relationship with her. Engage is first step, marriage next, then family. Already you talk family with her- but you and me, are not even engaged. She shook her head, sighed quietly and avoided his gaze. I know we did not go 'in order'. But already she is deciding whether or not she is okay with you having other relationships. What if she said she was not okay with it? Would you have put your foot down, for the sake of us? Or you would have lost me, to be with her only?

I think you'd like her. Or so he hoped. She was. But she kept to herself while you were here. She was feeling uhhh. Insecure about what it meant for you to be there too, I guess? And yeah, maybe if things hadn't been so awful right about then, I'd have asked you and the children to stay with me at my den, and then I'd understand, but we all know how things actually went... A sigh, Either way, I called her out on it when we talked. She knows it wasn't the right thing to do, and was sorry. Because it had hurt him. It had made him wary. But he was willing to forgive as long as she was honest with him in the future. It would have been so easy to just talk through! It would have been so easy to start things in motion earlier.

Okay and now Hua was very adamant about things that Mal was clueless about. He wasn't kidding that he'd raised himself and missed out on a lot of things that other people might know. I -- I don't know what all those other things even are -- engaged then marriage. Are they special things to your pack, or..? I don't think it was like.. A thing where I grew up. I only knew people who just said 'hey, me and this other person are mates now,' and that was basically it. But if engagement and the order of it is important to you, could you please tell me more about it? I want to know. It might even like.. Make this all make more sense to me -- I still feel like I'm missing the right words. His expression was honest and open. He did want to know.

Other than that promise about future pups, there hasn't been anything else that's changed between me and Aibreann. I'm still staying at my den. Nobody else even knows. You're the only one. Eventually stuff probably will change... But not yet. Because he didn't necessarily like being off on his own without someone else to curl up with but that was a whole different thing. Sorta. Look, he was just kinda touchy-feely and he missed that a lot.

Though after all that uncertainty, there was one thing he was sure of: If she had said no, her only, then we'd be having a really different conversation right now, because I wasn't going to just leave you like that. And if she'd said a hard no to polyamory, he'd have been in an entirely different pickle and some very hard decisions to make. If either of them said no, he'd just destroy his life in a different way.

Huā had never intended to make anyone insecure- and though she doubted how well they could get along if Aibreann was too shy to show her face- she also understood the feeling; it was perhaps hypocritical of her to judge the lady. Huā was insecure at that time too, but her insecurity showed in her purposeful observing of Mal's co-parents closely when she encountered them, hoping to dissect the depth of his relationships. It seemed she had missed the most important one of all, though. It is... it is okay. I do not want her to be sorry; I know how she feels. When I was here I feared the other women... because... I did not know you are, um, 'poly-amory'. I thought they are my competition. She flattened her ears to her skull apologetically, and reached out to lap at his chin a little, I am sorry too. I do not mean to be so negative. 

When he reminded her he didn't even know what an engagement was, she was experiencing surprise again, trying to imagine a life with such minimal rules. To him, there were not a set of guidelines for the "perfect" life- or perhaps there were, but if so, they were crafted by himself rather than some conservative old ancestors. But he seemed willing to listen to her, and she smiled softly. Hmm... engagement is, promising each-other that you want to be married. I suppose for you, you just... 'become mates'. But engagement is like when we plan the party- um, getting married, it is a party. With feasting and song. So, uh, that part is very short. After marriage is the long part- spending life together, until death separates us. She wagged her tail slightly, and her smile grew. Rather than just marrying so fast, I would want a promise- and time for us to prepare something fun, and invite friends. She wasn't sure how many friends Mal had across the wilds, but Huā could think of at least a couple allies she would want to welcome to their little (or big) celebration.

His last words weren't the greatest of comforts. He said nothing else had changed between them, which was all fine and dandy, but Huā felt that he curved around her question rather than answering it directly. Her smile faltered, but she didn't speak yet. Because I wasn't going to just leave you like that. That was sorta an answer, right? He wouldn't leave her, and she let those words be the ones to echo in her head. Not for Aibreann, not for any other girl- he wouldn't sacrifice her, would he? Huā looked back up to him after a moment of quiet, tail still and expression only hopeful now.

So... where does this leave us, now? Should I... come back to meet her, soon?

I mean, I didn't know what it was either... Officially, like. I wish we'd all talked about it before. I wouldn't have wanted you to think it was a competition. Especially not if we could all just be together and make it work, I hope. At her bump of his chin, his tongue flicked out to try to lick the bridge of her muzzle. I'm sorry it seemed to be that way.

I think you should meet her, yeah. He said with a smile. And after all that's happened this year, a party or something would be fun. But do you want to wait until after you've met her for anything to be official, then? Like me officially ask you... A second of pause, Unless you want now -- but I mean either way you can still tell me more about it, all of it, sometime. I want it to be something you find perfect, if I can. If that's how you want things to be. Okay, he probably sounded wishy-washy there but it was mostly because he didn't want to overstep but wanted to at the same time make it clear he was totally there and ready to prove he wanted her in his life. They were kind of two different paths to the same result, just one went way out of the way before arriving at the destination. He'd noticed her sort of wavering enthusiasm, though he wasn't sure what he said wrong, or what he should say additionally. I did offer you a meal. We could talk it all over that?

A nod of her head, If you had not agree to children, we could be official now. But because you have... something, that is looking like marriage to me- even if it is not this, to you- I think you should not ask me. Not until I meet her, and decide if I can see her in my life, too. She sighed. Huā looked up to him, That is the perfect order for me. Next time I come, I want to meet Aib... Aibreann- and talk to you with meal, after that. Does it sound okay?

His turn for that wasn't the answer he'd wanted to hear. His heart sunk a little, and he wasn't entirely sure what to say. He was a little more reserved then, Okay. -- I think you'll like her. He hoped she would. Because again there was that doom hanging above it all. If... Pause. Yeah, there was no way he could say it out loud, so he stopped and went a different direction entirely. I hope and dream that all of us could be happy together. Would it be inappropriate now for him to be affectionate to her with things paused then? He was much more a creature of instant gratification... But he'd do what Hua wanted because that was what might please them all.

archive here or with your post <3 huas exit

Me too. She sighed, reaching out once more to affectionately nudge at his cheek- and then she turned, I'll be back later, then, and then she was off again in the direction of Yuèlóng, only paying him one last hopeful glance over her shoulder before she dissapeared.