Hideaway Strath screaming at the top of your lungs

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The participants have indicated the following reason(s) for this warning: references to sex

The days following his rendezvous with @Nyra felt strange. Charles thought he'd be cured. He thought he'd stop having inappropriate thoughts about men now that he proved that he was one himself. As days went by though, it became clearer and clearer to him that it hadn't helped. He tried so hard to prove he was a man that he rolled into something he wasn't sure he was ready for. Becoming a father?! Charles didn't have a father himself, so he didn't have the slightest clue how to be one. All he could hope was that he wouldn't ask to be too involved. Though there was always the thought of running away... Again... But where would he even go?

The coywolf still felt a little sore from what he'd been put through. He wasn't tiny, but hardly large either, and well, Nyra was pretty tall and broad. Nothing like him. The opposite of him, some might say. Was it luck -- good or bad, he left that in the middle -- that had brought her to his side that night, or did she really choose... Him?

And if so, why?

It wasn't that he lacked confidence, but, well, he was just a realist. He wasn't exactly the biggest prize out there, and he'd been called ugly trash enough times to know that he must be.

And oh god, what if she did want him to play a role in raising these pups? And what if they'd grow to resent him like he resented his mother? What if he'd beat them like his mother did? Was becoming that way just part of being a parent?

Determined to get his weird meltdown under control Charles dunked his face in a nearby stream and screamed loudly under water. When he lifted his head again nothing had changed. He only felt better for the seconds his head was actually submerged. Now, he didn't feel better at all. Just wet.

Whrist stood not to far off she watched the male this time her mode was far more contemplative nowhere was the playful bug that had bitten her the last time she had seen him, to much had happened and her whole world felt tipped on it’s axis. She hated white wolves but yet Aerin and told her that not only with that white witch lay her life on the line for her she'd protect her from harm all together... and Whrist felt drawn to the White Warrior Nyra in a way not unlike her felt towards Kynareth or other males and that confused her to no end

Her white blues widened for a moment as she thought he might be trying to drown at the muffles noises that came from him while he was half submerged. She couldn’t help her head cock to the left as she watched him pull out of the water, concern laced her and she drew closer

“You ok?” She inquired watching the water slip from his pelt and drip down. At least this one was only half white, that made her feel marginally better, marginally safer? then if he had Simmik's, Arlette's, Nyra's or Aerin’s pelt color or rather lack thereof. She sympathized with his actions now, almost wanting to try it herself...

When he finally lifted his head above the water there was suddenly someone else standing there. Oh shit! Charles didn't recognise her right away because her disposition was so different than the day they'd met. Then when she spoke he squinted his eyes briefly, trying to figure out if it was her..? Not reaching a conclusion, he decided to shelf that thought for now. Charles shook his head, sending water drops flying, as he tried to think of a response.

Yeah, no, I was just — Charles got a bit stuck trying to decide whether to be passive-aggressive about it or pretend that everything was totally cool. — Making water moving things. Wanna see? Charles demonstratively put his head under water again and screamed a muffled, watery scream again, sending the water rippling, before he pulled his head above water again. His heart beat rapidly in his chest while he waited to see if she bought this fabricated story.

She eyed him curiously, her head tipped to the right, unable to hide her curiosity she snorted a little when he came up the second time. Was he crazy?

Did males go into this bothersome heat thing too? she never thought to ask Aerin and no one had ever taken the time to explain it to her. Since her Liaison with Kynareth her body seemed to burn far less and her scent was not as overwhleming, that she didn't understand either.

She walked up to him and stared down at the water, contemplating trying it, she glanced around making sure there was no one else around, though if he made fun of her for imitating his actions she would bite his ear off. With a shrug seeing no one she took and deep breath dunked her head and screamed the bubbles escaping her maw in a rush. Whrist pulled her head out and gave her whole body a shake sending water every which way.

“Nope, still don’t see” She frowned at him, while fighting to keep a smile off her face. “What’s the point again?”

Charles shook his head again to get most of the water off, though his head still looking pretty awkward and thin because of the wetness. Whrist looked at the water. Was she contemplating trying it? It seemed like it. This pleased the coywolf, because while he'd totally been covering up for his weird freak-out, it meant the story was plausible enough.

Finally she actually did it, and Charles grinned broadly as he watched. Phew. At least he wasn't ridiculous all by himself now. He didn't fully manage to wipe the grin off his face when she lifted her water above the head, though he didn't laugh at her. Making the water move, Charles said. But most... Have fun. His grin broadened a bit. Seems like you need to learn more of fun here. So far he hadn't met as many fun-loving wolves here as in Firefly Glen. Time for a change. And it was a great way for Charles to distract himself and the world from him freaking out about possibly becoming a father.

Her white blues looked upon him with an incredulous look, “Really?” she inquired. Remembering their first interaction this close she smelled him clearly she had a very keen nose for scent.

She lowered her front end and grinned at him then stood back up. Water still dripped from her pelt and she shook one more time. “You can tell me if something is up” She sat down and scratched her ear with a hind paw. “I promise not to say anything to anyone”

She didn’t have many friends and she was hoping to make one or two this season at least friends whom didn’t want to jump her to that she didn’t want to jump. She had distanced herself from Arlette the only other wolf she had had a friendly conversation with, since the white femme’s pelt had pulled her into Whrist’s nightmares lately. That Nyra yet another white pelted femme was in her dreams for an entirely different reason bothered her and yet didn’t bother her, she was so confused…

Charles was caught off guard when she suddenly said that he could tell her if there was something up. He thought he had her fooled, but it seemed that he didn't as much as he thought. Charles wasn't very good at talking about personal feelings, much less when prompted to do so.

He laughed off-handed and said teasingly, Yeah, and if you do tell any, I'd just tell them what your face looked like when you just put it in the water. Though the words were teasing, there was a sense of truth to them. It was the only way Charles knew how to make friends: Tell them why they were being dumb or otherwise imperfect so he could feel a bit better about himself (and better about his worth to their company).

Anyway, it's no big deal, he said with a shrug, though his next words were in stark contrast with his former: Just maybe gonna be a father.

RL has been kicking my ass lately sorry for the delay

Whrist had asked and he had poured his anxiety out to her, he showed her trust and she wouldn’t disregard that, So she kept a carefully neutral face, though she wanted nothing more then to stare at him funny or look at him like he had 5 heads. Why would he care if he sired pups? In her experience, The father did nothing, was nothing, to the pups but a figure to dole out painful lessons.

With this in mind she asked softly “Is that a problem?” Did she need to fear him? Would he turn into a follow my rule, the rules, or suffer? Somehow she didn’t think so, but she had been proven wrong in the past. She cocked her head to the right as she assessed him “Will it change anything?”

Her head tilted the left then “Will it change you?” She asked this last question earnestly, she was beginning to like him as she was now and if he had no choice to change would she like the ‘new’ Charles?

no problem at all <3

Charles couldn't tell what she thought of his confession; if she thought anything at all, he certainly could not tell. The coywolf blinked as she asked if it was a problem. Well, yeah? He was going to be — Well, one of the problems was that he wasn't really sure what he was going to be. He didn't have a father himself. He had never even wondered who his father was, until now, kind of, as he hadn't even known how children were made until, well, instinct took over.

Will it change anything? A good question, and not knowing the answer to it was precisely one of the things that left Charles worried.

... Will it change you?

Charles frowned, and he earnestly admitted: I... don't know. And that was the exact source of all his worry.

Whrist was ever a matter of fact creature as she spoke plainly “Well if you are going to change let me know, I like you as you are right now” She allowed her tail to sway just a bit to give proof to her truth. “You’d know right?” She moved closer to him if he allowed her and she’d press her neck to his in a sort of wolf hug. If she got that far she’d nipped his shoulder and dart away “Catch me it you can?” She held her tail stiff behind her and waved her tail back and forth in a taunting gesture seeing if he’d grab at it.

She liked this Coywolf these was just something about him and if she could just get him to stop worrying about the weight of the world maybe he'd be more fun

She said that he should let her know if he did change, but at her next question, Charles wondered, would he? He'd already changed a lot since he had come from Easthollow but he had never consciously thought about that until now. How would he know? Wouldn't however he'd be just be the new normal?

Charles opened his mouth, but before he could speak she gave him a sort of hug. Charles felt awkward and his neck probably felt tense to the touch. He grinned a little and was about to say something to make the situation more casual again, but before he could, she nipped his shoulder and taunted him to come catch her.

Though not in a playful mood, Charles did very much like to wave away his worries with casualness. He didn't enjoy talking about whatever bothered him, so this was pretty much perfect. The coywolf didn't waste any time to try and grab her tail — first pawing at it and then trying to grab it between his teeth — though he fully expected her to dash off before he could fully well grab it.

The coal coloured woman may be socially stunted but she somehow she wanted to make this one happy, she found herself enjoying his company and he was rather cute. She waved her tail and squeaked when he did snag it for a brief moment she felt she could let her guard down around him. Not something she tried to do around any others.

She spun about and grinned at then and ran at him dodging past at the last second. Whrist dug her claws into the earth shifting her trajectory and lunged for his back end she wanted to grab at his tail too her white blues sparkled with laughter. She over compensated and missed then her muscles bunched as she crouched and shifted as she lunged toward him hoping he’d run and let her catch him.

Instead of running away, he managed to grab her tail, which flustered Charles somewhat because it was so unexpected. It wasn't a lengthy victory, though, as soon she spun around and came running at him with a grin on her face. Man, this chick was totally crazy, but at least he had a friend in her; a commodity the coywolf didn't have much of these days. Not since the bear incident, when he left all of his new friends — the ones who were still alive, anyway — behind.

Charles instinctively spun along when she moved past him. He thought she was going to just run away in that direction but then she suddenly lunged for his back and tail. Charles felt his tail instinctively tuck between his hind legs and his back cramped down submissively at the thought of punishment, despite her cheerfully sparkling eyes and her laughter. In his head it was easily turned into a honing laughter and it was his brother looming over him, trying to grab his tail and yank it so that he could hear Charles scream.

She missed his tail but there was still something predatory in her expression when she lunged at him. Charles wanted to run, everything inside of him said run, run, run! but in the end, instead he just crouched to the ground; submissive, small; eyes and jaw tightly clenched shut as he waited for impact.

Whrist was about to pounce upon him but something in the change of his posture, made her hindbrain shout PREY! There is Prey here!! Eat him!! But this wasn’t prey this was Charles, she made sure to snaps her mouth closed on nothing but air  the tuck of his tail which made grabbing it no fun anyway.

It was his cower that made her flinch, it took her effort to bound up and then over him at the last second being absolutely sure she made no contact with him. She landed on the other side of him and stood up slowly, forcing her body into a relaxed neutral posture, looking at him with surprise her head cocked to the left her white blue eyes soft with concern

She whispered softly “Charles?” She wanted to step closer to touch his cheek with a gentle nudge but worried he’d faint or lash out, the scent of fear rolled of him in waves

Charles' mind went into that place where it seems like everything is going very fast, and at the same time very slow. He had all the time in the world to think about everything — his fear, how idiotic he must look, how they were only playing, how he should do something! — and where everything was going too fast for him to really do something. Before he knew it, it was over. There was no impact.

The thought of being hurt rolled over Charles in waves. The thought of hurting himself plagued him, and he swallowed thickly as he tried to push it away. He kept his eyes clenched shut but when her voice broke the tension, the coywolf looked up at her.

He could see that she was.. well, something. Worried? Appalled? Disgusted by his weakness? Charles swallowed thickly and he forced a grin onto his face as he found some semblance of control over his body and mind. Yeah, it's — uh, no big. Charles quickly forced himself to his feet. Legs were still trembling. He looked away in shame while he pondered whether he should ask her if she wanted to play more. The fear was gone, now replaced with only the shame and the growing desire to hurt.

His eyes had cast away from her looking for something anything else to focus on, she knew what that was like, Aerin made her feel like a pup all to often. She despised the priestess for that though it was not the leaders fault. Not entirely.

Carefully and silently she padded forward reaching out, her black muzzle touched his cheek very lightly, briefly, “Sorry” she whispered,

Though she didn’t know what she had done to elicit such a reaction from him, she knew all to well about demon’s from the past and chalked it up to that. She had plenty of her own demons.

She stayed close to him, enjoying the warmth radiating from him, However she looked away from him to the forest around them allowing him to look at her without fear of being caught, Though her head and gaze was not pointed toward him her question was directed at him


“Is there something else you’d like to do?” She was game for anything, she wondered if he’d make as good a hunting partner as Kynareth Dragon of the Abbey did, or if he had any other ideas she was game for anything… anything at all. She worked hard at keeping her thoughts innocent as her ears cocked toward him seeking an answer to her question.

The apology was like the whisper of an angel to his ears. Even though he hadn't really been beaten by Whrist, the soft touch and the soft-spoken 'sorry' were something that he knew. First, pain. Second, whimpering pathetically. Third, sorry and hugs. The last step was often missing these days. Sometimes both the first and the third, which made his brain do something weird. He couldn't explain it. Couldn't explain why it made him hurt himself until at least one more step of the process was done. But this. This soothed it. Soothed him. Charles leaned in to the soft touch of her muzzle and he felt whole and loved, for but a moment. As though he was back in those rare moments in his life where his mother would press him against her soft fur and whisper how sorry she was for hurting him.

Charles felt relaxed as he leaned against Whrist, her warmth like a comforting blanket over his shoulders. She asked him if he wanted to do anything else. Can I stay here? he asked instead, hoping she would allow him to stay at peace for just another moment.

maybe we can fade this here? <3