Redsand Canyon Out of Sync

Set one day after her acceptance. She is seeking @Ruenna but also for @Aquene! <3

A full night had passed after Malila had been accepted (reluctantly) by Germanicus into Mereo. She wasted no time in claiming one of the numerous dens built into the canyon wall for herself. The space was hardly comforting. And why would it be? She hadn't even been here a full day yet, giving her no time to customize and decorate it to her liking. To make it feel cozy and not so...barren.

She hadn't slept well that night. She was still terribly hungry, in a cold space, in a completely unfamiliar territory with wolves she didn't know. Still, the words of the Imperator rung well in her ears. No harm would come to her here. That made her relax a little. Feel a tiny bit better. Come morning, she awoke to a stiff back and a gnawing at her gut.

Breakfast would have to wait. She would keep her promise and do as she had been told and seek out Ruenna, the Matrona she would answer to. Malila didn't know what she would look like, as she had not been given a description. Emerging from her den, she carried down the main path of the canyon, heading towards what she believed would be the heart of the territory. Cautiously, she poked her nose near other den openings, to see if they were occupied. Swiftly disinterested in disturbing anyone's privacy, she moved on. Then stopped, releasing a short lived call. Anyone who heard her would know her voice was new. They may either answer, or come to investigate. Or ignore her completely.

Aquene had been settling into Mereo well, though she still felt as if there were constantly tension in the air. She felt as if she was waiting for her next test… her next conversation with the Matrona that would result in some form of herbal lesson where she was expected to be the master of her craft… it had been a whirlwind, but she was handling it the only way she knew how: hyper-focus and bouts of insomnia. She had been meticulously beginning the process of carving smooth notches like shelves out of the walls of one of the canyon dens, using hard objects or her dull claws, whatever she could find, to assist in the process.
 
She had caught the call, hearing it and knowing that it was just outside. Her curiosity got the best of her and the way her claws ached from the work she had achieved that night into the early morning meant she felt she had deserved a break in order to investigate. The chocolate coated girl poked her head out, head tipping to the side. “You called for the Matrona. Are you a plebian as well?” She did not know many of the other civilians, only the Matrona… come to think of it, she didn’t really know any of the Auxilia as well unless you accounted for the seemingly cold Kallik who had escorted them in their search for yarrow to ensure their safety.

Ruenna was slower to answer than Aquene, but that was almost a given with the difficulty she experienced just trying to move around. Her back was always stiffest in the morning, and worse still on bitterly cold mornings such as these. 

Ruenna offered a tight smile to Aquene before her amber gaze fell upon the girl. She was a diminutive thing, even compared to Ruenna who was practically skin and bones. "Good morning," Rue spoke softly. "You asked for me? I'm Ruenna Caeso-Redsand, the Matrona." Ruenna's curiosity was piqued. She could not imagine what had possessed Germanicus to allow such a seemingly delicate, presumably inexperienced youth to stay in the canyon and wear the scent of Mereo. It was quite unlike him.

Her call was answered quickly. By not one, but two wolves. The first appeared almost immediately, peeking a dark coated head out of one of the dens. Another female. Malila turned to glance back, one ear pivoting. Instantly, wafting from her and her dwelling, she smelt the familiar fragrance of herbs. Her stomach twisted uncomfortably. If she was another herbalist, then Malila's talent may be unneeded here, as underdeveloped as it was. On the other had, with someone around sharing a common interest, it could be a path for friendship. "Uh, yeah, I am." She began in her characteristic, soft voice. "I only just got here yesterday."

The tail end of her sentence ended just as the second wolf arrived. She was spindly and small, walking with a distinct limp. She still rivaled Malila's own size. Snapping her head forward, her ears instinctively fell when the pale woman introduced herself as Ruenna, the Matrona. Once again, she displayed a smidge of submission, since this was the woman she was to answer to. "Y-yes. I am Malila. Germanicus accepted me. Told me to find you... " 

The woman was mousy, and seemed like she could shrink away. Aquene fought to keep a frown off her features. The woman had a docile nature, but she felt as if she barely held a stone to the woman in front of her. “Welcome! Admittedly, I don’t know many wolves here… it’s refreshing to see a friendlier face.” She offered because the auxilia all seemed so grouchy, at least those that she had met. Still, she was sure it was because of the taxing nature of their job. Soon after, Ruenna was arriving, offering a kind smile in turn and a respectful dip of the head. She instantly fell to the background of the conversation, it was not her place.
 
Malilia. She saved the name for later, simply falling in the background, though she lingered near. She did not quite head back to her den, perhaps it was just her curious nature. If the Matrona wished her to leave, she would, but until then she had the plans to sit there.

Ruenna regarded Aquene with interest as she spoke her welcome. It seemed that her new medic had experienced some unfriendliness, which was regrettable but unsurprising. Ruenna would have to check back in with Aquene regarding this development. 

"Yes, welcome Malila. This is Aquene, and she is Mereo's medic." Ruenna's thoughts mulled. Germanicus accepted Malila as a civilian? He must have seen potential in her somewhere. A diamond in the rough, perhaps. Ruenna only hoped that the effort required to polish and refine this diamond would not exceeded the value of the gem. 

"I hope you were comfortable last night?" Malila must have gotten in rather late, if Germanicus had not called Ruenna to judge her acceptance and help her get settled. "..Have you been shown to a cache?" If Malila indicated she was hungry, the group would proceed to the nearest cache for breakfast. 

When they were finished exchanging niceties, the conversation would turn to business. 

"When you interviewed with Germanicus, did you and he discuss any terms for you admission, or how you might serve Mereo?" Ruenna was quite curious.

The younger, darker woman, seemed friendly. Even thrilled, she dared say, that someone like Malila was in the ranks. Ruenna identified her as Aquene, and the medic of the pack. Her ears pricked up at this, her eyes lightening some. But inside, she didn't know how to feel. "Thank you both. It is nice to see friendly faces." Her brows knitted. "Germanicus and Kallik, I believe...they were quite reserved." She wouldn't use the term cold. Not in risking offense of the Imperator's wife, who she had only just met.

She shook her head. "I honestly can't say I was. I was too tired and short on time to decorate the den and make it feel more homey. Sleeping in a strange new place wasn't easy." Again, she shook her head. "I haven't gotten a chance to eat yet, much less explore. But a meal does sound good, soon."

Now over to the business side of the conversation. While Aquene sat back, silent and Ruenna asked the questions, Malila felt a twinge of nervousness. Felt her stomach twist, slightly. "Well..." She looked sheepish as she began. She swallowed. She would go about this exactly the same way she had with Germanicus. With complete honesty and hope for the best. Malila saw no use for lying or twisting the truth. "He said I would be admitted as a civilian. And...like I told him, I am afraid I may not be of much use, at first." She hesitated, trying to gauge Ruenna's expression. "I do have some training and education with herbs and medicine, but other than that, I was very sheltered growing up." She huffed softly at her own lack of skills. "But I don't want to be useless anymore. I want to learn, and I am willing to." She nearly pleaded, hoping these two females saw a brighter spark of something in her than the men had.

Aquene listened quietly in the background, offering another kind smile towards the new recruit when she was introduced though that was the only motion she made as the two discussed. Some training in healing could be useful. She knew the Matrona had training, but she also knew that the woman was busy with other tasks, like overseeing everyone who was not a part of the military ranks, and her injuries made it harder to get around… Aquene saw use for her.
 
It would help to have another set of paws, that with a little training, could handle longer journeys to restock the herb storage, since some harder to find herbs might require travel that lasted longer than a day… and likewise, paws at Mereo to treat patients while Aquene herself was away on those ventures… it would be useful to have two fully trained medics, and with a little bit of time Aquene could assess and fill in her knowledge gaps she was certain.
 
Still, she was not certain if it was her place to speak. It was Ruenna’s place to assign roles and determine if this girl had a worth to Mereo with them already having a medic, and so she stayed silent though the curiosity was clearly displayed on her features with the way her head tilted to the side and she considered the words the other woman had said.

Germanicus and Kallik were "quite reserved?" That sounded about right. Ruenna smiled in understanding. 

Malila mentioned that she had not yet broken her fast, and so the group moved off toward the nearest cache. Once it was open, Ruenna would indicate to Malila to take whatever meal appealed to her.  

The girl had struggled to settle down in strange quarters... that was unsurprising, especially with how young she appeared to be. Germanicus and Kallik were unlikely to have made much of an effort to ensure her comfort. 

"Tamar is in charge of housekeeping; she can help you obtain some necessities, so you can be comfortable." Or Malila could always bunk with Aquene, but Ruenna would not offer this option without checking with Aquene first. Some wolves preferred to keep their space solitary, and whatever Aquene wanted, Aquene would get. She was that important to Mereo. 

It was as Ruenna feared. Malila was mostly untrained, other than some exposure to herbs and medicine. This would need to change, and quickly. "You will need to learn, to stay in Mereo." It was not just about being wanting or willing. It might be time for a harsh does of reality, for both of the plebians. 

"It was never the intention for Mereo to have civilians at all. The civilian ranks were devised after most of the soldiers were recruited, and it's clear to me that some feel the addition was not for the better. We need to change their minds, to assure our security here." And those minds would not be changed if one or more of the civilians were not pulling their own weight. 

"There are two paths in Mereo. You can be a soldier, or you can be a wife. Aquene is the only exception." Aquene may have been the exception, but even she would likely find herself walking down one road or the other. Perhaps both. 

"If you wish to stay, Malila, you will need to become one or the other. Either find a way to convince Germanicus to accept you as auxilia, or convince a soldier to accept you as a wife. I can give you until the spring thaw." Three months was a short time to make a decision and accomplish either task, but Ruenna felt her paws were tied, from a political standpoint. "In the meantime, I would like you to apprentice to Aquene, if she is in agreement." Ruenna looked to Aquene.

Once at a cache, which was soon opened up, Malila dived right in. She nabbed a meaty hind leg, leftover from a deer. She bit into it hungrily. Swallowing, her stomach settled with instant relief. The whole time, she minded her manners and kept her eyes on Ruenna, taking note of another name. Tamar, a wolf who was in charge of housekeeping. She nodded, promising herself that she would find her later.

She was given the rundown that Mereo was originally intended to be a place for soldiers. Not civilians. And that some of the soldiers, were less than happy with an influx of civilians in the ranks. That may explain then, why Kallik and Germanicus seemed...cold. Malila listened, without realizing she had been holding her breath, that there were two paths for her. To become a solider. Or be a wife.

She deflated a little. Neither of those sounded very appealing. She was most definitely no fighter. "A wife...?" She squeaked out. "But I'm barely an adult. What good will I be as a wife?" She stood up from her spot, almost insulted. "What kind of purpose is that? I want to be productive. To be needed. Not some...mans sweet little lady!" She wasn't angry, just shocked. Appalled. Realizing she may have overstepped, she shrunk back, hanging her head down to the side.

Aquene was moving along with them to the nearest cache. She had eaten not too long before so she did not take anything. She only ate when she had to, and often forgot about it when she was rushing about so she had a fairly consistent schedule set up for herself in an attempt to not forget. Tamar could get her a den. Aquene continued to remain silent, still not sure of her own role here and what she should or should not say. She listened to the history, the background that she had pieced together over time… a solider or a wife. Aquene schooled her expression.
 
And she was thankful to be an exception.
 
Someone had tried to force her to become a wife once before, and it had resulted in her finding her way here. Surely strangers would not succeed where her own father had failed, right? Besides, who would she marry? Everyone seemed so wholly dour. Malila’s reaction seemed to be… just like Aquene’s would have been if she had been given the same ultimatum. “Of course, Matrona, I could use the extra paws. I need to build the stores more with herbs that do not grow in the area… an extra set of paws to help make those ventures will be useful.” She offered to show that the girl did have some worth in that sense. She watched as the girl shrunk back, and her heart panged in empathy though she did not comment. She did not want to insert herself into that situation. It was not her place.

Ruenna weathered the outburst without expression, her warmth for the girl receding with every ill-chosen word she spoke. Aquene spoke up to confirm that she would apprentice the girl, and Ruenna offered her a nod in gratitude. She then turned to address Malila.

Perhaps Malila felt indirectly insulted by Ruenna's offer, but Ruenna was very much insulted by the girl's impertinent words. Particularly offensive was the implication that wives (a category which included Ruenna herself) were not productive or needed members of Mereo, and they were only useful for sexual purposes. Ruenna had only just told Malila that the civilians were struggling to gain the respect of the soldiers, and yet the first words out of the girl's mouth were flagrantly disrespectful of the civilians and their purpose. For a girl who expressed no desire to be a soldier, she had a frustrating way of thinking like exactly like one. 

"You were offered a choice of two paths," Ruenna reminded her flatly. If Malila wished to remain in Mereo, marriage was not the only option. And yet, it was the one she fixated upon. "Mereo is a military outpost. It is not a familial pack. It is not a school, and it is not a charity. I have offered you a choice of two ways you may be directly useful to our purpose as the support system for a military operation. If you decline my offer, I can help you find a more suitable place to live. I have many connections in the Teekon Wilds." It was more than the girl deserved after the deeply offensive insinuations she had voiced, but Ruenna would not simply throw the girl out in the cold. 

Ruenna was not without sympathy. She too had been pressured to marry, when she was Malila's age, and she had also found the prospect distasteful. It was an experience shared by many women. The difference was, Ruenna had never been a beggar at someone else's table, devouring the choicest selections of meat while simultaneously insulting those who offered her shelter and tutelage. Malila's words were those of a spoiled and entitled woman-child, and there was no room for such a thing in Ruenna's ranks. 

"You claimed that you wanted to learn and were willing. But now all I hear from you are the things you do not want to learn, and the things you are not willing to do. You have three months. I suggest you use them to make yourself into the person you claim to be. If you have no further questions, you are dismissed." Apparently Malila's "wanting to learn" was very specific in nature, and it did not apply to learning how to be a wife. Or a soldier. Malila wished to be a beggar and a chooser in a place with nothing to spare. She should have been grateful that Mereo was willing to extend any offer to her at all. 

After Malila departed, Ruenna would turn to @Aquene. She wished to debrief the situation with the medic and hear her opinion on what she had just witnessed.

There was no denying it. Growing up during her childhood, Malila had never taken the chance to learn skills such as hunting or fighting. She had always had her mother by her side, watching out for her. Now that she was no longer around, she was forced with some tough choices. She had made many wrongful assumptions in her little outburst, remaining narrow minded.

Very quickly, as Ruenna explained herself, the ways of Mereo and called her out on her un-willingness to learn, Malila felt a coldness spread in her chest. She wanted to tighten her jaw and press her ears down, but all she did was look at the floor. It was not like she had wanted to come here. She only ever asked because she believe she had no other choice. Left out in the cold winter in her condition, she stood little chance of surviving. Especially with the other side of the mountain, towards the east, ridden with dangerous snowy conditions.

Feeling bitter and regretting her place here already, she turned away when she was dismissed. All she said in a low voice was "Fine. I will reconsider and look into more detail on both paths." That, or bide her time until spring. She slipped away back to her den in silence, leaving the deer leg she had picked for herself.

The woman was intriguiing, fiery and yet she recoiled into herself under the pressure of authority… it reminded Aquene much of herself in many ways. There was potential there, even if she admitted to a massive deficit of knowledge that would make it difficult to survive in Mereo. Aquene might be able to help correct that. She watched as the woman retreated, leaving the deer leg behind as Aquene imagined she might have lost her appetite. She picked the piece up, placing it back into the cache before looking to the Matrona. “She’s… interesting.” She didn’t know how else to bridge the gap into the conversation.
 
She paused, hoping to hear the Matrona’s opinion. Aquene had known that the civilians in the structure of Mereo were new, and to an extent she had realized the poor opinions against them… she just hadn’t quite realized the severity of it all until this moment… she also foolishly hadn’t realized she had been the only one given an exception in terms of fight or marry. She would be eternally grateful for that, but it left her feeling slight guilt towards the others for having to choose like that… then again, if they didn’t like it, they did have the option to go elsewhere.
 
There had been both good signs and bad in that conversation, but Aquene preferred to focus on the good that can be molded. “I plan to assess her medical knowledge as soon as I can… another fulltime healer would not be a bad thing, especially with the distance that needs to be traveled to restock certain parts of the stores… someone will need to be here in case treatment is required while another makes those ventures.” She could ask the Matrona herself, but she had admitted that her base knowledge was limited and the venture would likely be too much due to her injury… Malila could easily be her runner, or if she proved competent enough, she could treat wounds while Aquene herself went to fetch herbs… whoever could best handle themselves in case of a threat would likely be the one to travel.

She's interesting. 

Ruenna let Aquene's comment hang in the air, nodding absently as she watched the girl disappear. 

"I used to lead in a pack called Redhawk Caldera," she revealed. "If this had been Redhawk Caldera and not Mereo, I would have taken her in without any hesitation." Ruenna sighed. She swallowed heavily before she continued. "Redhawk Caldera collapsed this winter. We were a pack full of children-- many of them parentless--" Like Malila. "--And disabled wolves. In the end, we did not have enough able-bodied wolves to put together a capable hunting party." There would be pain evident behind Ruenna's expression, when she next met Aquene's gaze. 

She listened to Aquene's words, as the medic gently stated the case for keeping Malila. Aquene wanted another fulltime healer. Rue gave another sigh. 

"But she's not a fulltime healer. She's a fulltime teenager, with no developed skills. We can train scouts to find herbs for us when they go into the field. And as for a backup caregiver to treat our wolves when you are away.. well, that would be me," Ruenna reminded Aquene. She appreciated the spin that Aquene was trying to put on the situation-- indeed, this was the same optimistic line of thinking that Ruenna would have employed when she was Sovereign of Redhawk Caldera-- but no matter how much potential she possessed, Malila did not have a way of filling a current need for Mereo. 

"Aquene.." Ruenna spoke again, her voice softer this time. "She will be okay. I meant what I said about finding her a place in a different pack. I know several wolves who would take her in, as a favor to me. Truly, don't you think she will be happier someplace else..?" Mereo was no place for a teenage girl, surely Aquene must see that.

Aquene felt the way her own comment lingered in the air. He didn’t know what to think about it, truly. She understood where the Matrona was coming from, but there was a fire in the girl and Aquene believed she could belong in Mereo if she had the will for it. The Matrona started to explain, and Aquene listened with her head tilted to the side. Children and disabled wolves… a noble cause, but the healer had a feeling she understood where it was going… She hummed softly, and he saw the pain in the woman’s eyes.
 
The words fell sharply, not in a hostile manner, but with a tone of remembrance and Aquene sighed softly. She nodded in understanding. She said nothing, at least not at first. She tried to be optimistic but there was some part of her deep down that did understand that things were simply more complex than just taking in a stray and letting her linger with no real purpose. Mereo was very structure, different from her birth pack but with many similarities. She needed to jump in the deep end and there was no time for dipping toes.
 
“I think she might be… but she does have fire in her, Matrona. She could find a home here, I’ve seen it before. Sometimes it simply takes time for a wolf's true nature to escape it's outer shell.” Her father seldom took in strays, but there were times where he had seen something in a wolf on the borders. “Perhaps the Imperator saw something in her too..?” She didn’t know exactly what, but there was something.

Ruenna considered Aquene's words, and there could be no doubt that Malila had fire in her. It did remain to be seen however, if she would channel that stubbornness in a productive way, or if she would dig her heels in where she stood and and sink further into her mire pit of whining, self-pity, and blame.

"Perhaps he did," Ruenna agreed with Aquene's last point. That would go a long way toward explaining why he had sent her the little waif. 

"Listen, Aquene... I don't want you feel that her fate is on your shoulders, or like you are responsible for helping her.. earn a place here. No matter how quick a study she might be, she will still need to make her choice. She's a grown woman, not a little pup. We can help her, but we cannot protect her from the decision that a grown woman needs to face-- namely, how she expects to earn a living." 

And yet, even as she said the words, Ruenna knew in her heart of hearts that she wanted Malila to convince her to change her mind. She wanted to see Malila grow and thrive, and forge a place for herself in Mereo that was so solid, she could not be removed regardless of the choices she would or would not make.

It was in Aquene’s nature to fight for the underdog. If she didn’t, then in many ways she felt like she wasn’t fighting for herself… and Malila was an underdog. She had a lot of shaping up to do if she were to make it in Mereo, but Aquene felt like she needed to see it happen… and it seemed that Ruenna sensed that in her. Her expression softened slightly, ears drooping just a little when the Matrona warned her to not get too attached, that is was the girl who needed to decide if she would make it, not Aquene.
 
She understood, but that would not make it any easier for her to do so. Letting go had always been one of her biggest struggles. “Yes, Matrona.” She vocalized, showing she understood with the tone promising to try. It was hard to not feel responsible. If Malila were to fail, surely that would mean that she had failed as a teacher, right? Her own mother had never failed… though Aquene understood the difference. Everyone had learned for survival, and Malila had a choice.

And that was that. Without anything to add, Ruenna simply nodded. For a long moment, she stared thoughtfully off in the direction Malila had disappeared, reflecting on all that had happened. Eventually, she let out a sigh. 

"That was not my best moment as a leader, I'm afraid," she admitted quietly, almost as if she were talking to herself. Malila had hurt her feelings when she belittled her achievement of becoming a wife-- a position she had craved for so long-- and she had responded rather harshly. 

She would give both Malila and herself some time to calm down, and then she would approach Malila again. She would find a way to make things right, or help somehow, or at least just apologize and try to start over. 

Ruenna shook herself, coming out of her own thoughts to look at Aquene. "I'll leave you to it," she told her. She dipped her muzzle to Aquene before excusing herself to wander off, briefly distracted from the pain of walking by her roiling thoughts. 

Fade or archive! Up to you! <3