Ouroboros Spine a familiar sense of grief

Shikoba has lost hope of Inutsuk returning, so she must have a challenging conversation with her little son about why Dad isn't here :'( I am also backdating this for the June 30th, the day before she seeks out Kukutux to begin the ritual 

Shikoba has felt the need to remain extra to her son, despite his nature to go exploring without her. But after the event with his sudden allergy to rabbits and the foreboding knowledge that Inutsuk will most likely not be present in the boy's life beyond his birth and early development, a mother must move on for the best of her child.

And so, Shikoba sheds all her hope today. Later, she will seek out Moon Woman's comfort, telling her it would be time to sing the death songs. But for now, Shikoba will fulfill her role as mother before wife and sivullik. Mojag will always come first in her heart, and today she will e sure to show him this.

A yip for @Mojag and asking for his presence, her tone is one that is heavier than her usual calls for him. She would sit at the mouth of their ulaq, awaiting him to come from wherever he ventures. And as she waits, she reminds herself to have courage, compassion, and to always put Mojag above herself.

Anaa called.

Mojag had been preoccupied with the visitors; the two boys that had come from Natigvik were fascinating! One was often scouting or hunting (Kivaluk) while the other seemed more subdued, curious of the forest or the work of the women (Akkuma) — and on the rare occasion that Mojag could not find either boy, he'd find Stratos to wrestle with, or Callyope for a nap. There was a lot to keep his mind off of the growing absence that even he, at this mindless stage in his life, had begun to notice.

The call from Shikoba was urgent, which wasn't normal. Mojag wanted to put it aside in favor of something fun but, he was an obedient child when he had to be. He lopes towards her and slams in to the dirt with his forepaws first, chest second, and laughs -- but there is a look upon his mother's face that looks curiously pained, and he slowly loses his mirth.

Anaa... ? He didn't know what to say, and instead reached for her chin and flicked his tongue out like a snake. What's wrong? His ears turn back and then forward again, uncertain.

An obedient son she raised, for her little warrior comes loping with his usual joyful gait. And while she'd love to humor his normal, playful antics, Shikoba finds herself remaining settled and quiet. The flick of his tongue is enough to snap her out of this trance, and she thankfully returns a well-earned lick against the bridge of his nose that reaches towards his forehead. A kiss she so lovingly missed from Inutsuk.

"Mojag," she says quietly to him, beckoning for him to sit with her with a sway of her paw, "we must talk." God, how she wished she wouldn't have to bear such news to her little boy, the boy who shares the blood of her presumed-dead husband and herself.

"Inutsuk, your father... is gone. And Sh-I," she corrects herself with a clear of her throat, "I fear Inutsuk is not coming back. He said no goodbyes to Mojah, to Shikoba, to Moonglow. I am... confused and worried about you... missing your father."

She pauses now and waits for him to interpret what he can. She would answer his questions honestly, for it was what he deserved.

It sounded strange to hear Shikoba so worried, and hurt, and quiet. She kissed him gently and then began to explain what was on her mind, and Mojag did not know what to do when her tone shifted. He was right to think something was wrong - but he did not know what to do, how to fix it.

Thoughts of his father were... complicated. Mojag's expression tightened; concerned for his mother more than anything. It was a brief change which he hid immediately; a hopeful smile re-appearing as the boy presses his face in to Shikoba's furs.

I'm okay anaa, he promises, I am a hunter now. I have many friends here. I have Stratos, and -- Callyope, and Kukutux, and you. And you have me. He did not need his father, he had decided. Mojag would make sure he grew in to a good man so that anaa could depend on him.

He hoped that would be enough.

Mojag speaks with more wisdom than she could expect from a boy his age, and it does nothing but swell Shikoba's heart with pride. Despite all of what happened behind the scenes with the absence of his father and the lament of his mother, Mojag still cares and moves forward. And his words were true, Shikoba knows this. He had the charming personality that would bring about many friends throughout his lifetime, and thankfully Kukutux's own children welcome the singular spawn of the native woman.

As he presses himself against her own body, Shikoba must do everything to not let her tears slip. Inutsuk would be proud of his son, to know how much he cares and how much he tries. Yet, he isn't here nor has been for many moons. Shikoba had even worried that Inutsuk did not leave a large enough imprint on Mojag to be remembered. But, perhaps the woman does not give her son enough credit for his ability to learn and memorize.

"Anaa has you," she whispers softly into his ears, "and Anaa loves you, with all her heart." No matter what happens in the future, Shikoba knows that with the strength of Moonglow behind her and Mojag, they will be fine. 

The word hunter rings about in her head, and for a moment, the woman thinks quietly to herself. She would need to take Mojag out for focused lessons on hunting and tracking, for if he is to follow in her footsteps and bear the Pheasant Tail name, he would need to prove himself. "What has little Mojag hunted?" Her voice is still quiet, soft, though brims with curiosity. If Mojag is able to let go, then she would not force the wound of memory onto him any longer. Instead, she would replace it with something joyful, and something they can share.

He did not like to see his mother so affected. It wasn't the emotion that she displayed or the containment of that emotion, but to see her usual calm and focused demeanor disrupted in such a way was not normal for Mojag.

Shikoba was as ever-present, warm, and constant like the sun; this conversation felt different in the way the air shifted when clouds got in the way. Where before Mojag's mind went to the stars when he thought of Inutsuk, from this point on he would be reminded of such things as summer storms, clouds that added pressure with every layer, and his mother in such distress.

There was a shift to the conversation after that. Mojag was aware enough to know a redirect when he heard one, and was glad for it. His mother asked about his hunting and the boy beamed, putting aside all of his confusing thoughts about his absent father, his role as the man in the family, and all the rest.

There was a squirrel! And after that, the man with his sons — the pale man — he needed a guide to the best hunting places, he spoke of Kigipigak, his enthusiasm overflowing. So I showed him and he said, soon, the boys would be hunting together. His tail swayed a few times as he outlined this plan.

It did not yet occur to Mojag that this was the role of a real father, or that he would be missing out because of the absence of his own.

An excited tone overcomes his voice as Mojag tells his great adventures to his mother. Shikoba wonders to herself if she ought to spend more time with him or allow him to keep his independence. Despite the secret allergy, her son has kept himself alive and well. She best not hang too tightly onto him, or else he may grow tired of her rigidity. As long as he is happy to call her anaa and come back to her ulaq to sleep, then that is enough for her. 

As Shikoba listens to Mojag spin his tale of adventure, the pale man in the story ensnares her attention. "Kigipigak is his name," she tells him with a smile, "he hunted foxes with anaa, I am glad Mojag met Kigipigak." With the backbone having a brood of his own, Shikoba wonders if Mojag would think about what he misses. But as long as his innocence is presented to her honestly, she will put these fears to rest.

"Yes, when older the boys hunt together." Now Shikoba brings her nose close to the face of her son and playfully blows a bit of air at him through her nose. "But for now, Mojag can hunt with Anaa, if he chooses." An invitation for adventure, and to move away from the stormcloud that lingers in Shikoba's head.

When Shikoba offered herself for hunts it should not have surprised Mojag as it did; he was more thrilled than anything, and practically tackled her with his enthusiasm when he realized what she had said.

Really?! The boy smooshed in close and was practically vibrating with excitement. His tail was a blur. Can we go hunt now? Or -- after naps? I wanna hunt all the things! I'm gonna be the best hunter!! And then everyone will be fat and happy; and Callyope--!

Mojag remembered what he had done with the squirrel pelt and hadn't yet gifted it to his mother, as it was still a secret, so his mention of the girl caused an abrupt pause he did not know how to fill. His face felt very warm all of a sudden.

with the mention of callyope, mojag's unofficial cousin from kukutux's litter, shikoba raises an eyebrow curiously towards her son. what could he be doing with her to cause such a change in his dialect to her? "callyope must be good friend to mojag, hm?" she decides to ask, wondering if he would choose to expand beyond what he decided to pause.

whether he expanded on it or not, it did not matter to her. she would refocus back on the hunt eventually in hopes of spending the day with her son. "anaa will let mojag decide when to go. we will see what animals are out today."

while many may prefer to have a strict schedule with their children, shikoba wanted mojag to have the ability to make decisions for himself. his independence would be a great gift, one that would hopefully never come to bite her in the ass if he decides to start derailing himself. for now, he continues to blossom into a boy that she is proud of.

He did not want to spill the secrets between himself and Callyope, and felt himself grow guarded the more his mother pressed. Perhaps it would have been better to speak of her as a playmate or to come up with some wild story of their games together, but Mojag was not yet that quick with his thoughts. He could come up with songs swiftly, or recite stories which had been shown to him by Kukutux, or even Samani; but he could not lie with ease, which itself was a testament to his love for his mother.

The decision about their hunt was left up to Mojag, too. This was enough to sway his mind off the topic of the girl; he was enthralled by the idea of leading a hunt, and proving himself! Although his face felt very warm even after the conversation flowed away from his friend, which was a strange sensation.

We wills ee what animals are out today.

Really?

His mouth was an incredulous oh, and then it split in to a giant smile. Can we chase squirrels? No, rabbits! Wait — the big things, the tall ones with the --- the branches on their head? He couldn't remember the word for deer in his haste.

feel free to keep going or archive, whichever is easiest for you <3

when he asks about the game to hunt, shikoba can feel the air become electric with her son's excitement. which was good, moonglow would need more talented jaws like mojag's. however, his allergy to rabbit meat might become a difficult thing to work with, as his hunting could be limited with how much he can tolerate its meat and blood in his mouth.

"deer," she says to him softly when he asked about the antlered brother of the forest, "mojag will need to be bigger and have friends to help with that hunt." smaller game would be a perfect game for the duo. besides, shikoba would need to take some time to brush up on her tracking. keeping an eye on the herds would be an important thing for her as the first hunter. she would have to decide what to protect and what to cull.

"let's true squirrel, or if lucky, maybe bird." there were some ptarmigans that were fluttering around in the grassy areas of Moonglow, perhaps that'd have luck there if the squirrels were too swift on their feet today. "we go now?" she asks him, "or after naps?"

Deer. If they were so big, he'd have to get bigger - that's what his mother said, and so he nodded and pouted a moment, but it was not a long lasting defeat.

His tail thumped the ground when Shikoba moved on to other potential targets. The first of these smaller game mentioned, squirrel, was something Mojag had hunted before and felt confident about; he would love to show off his abilities for his mother! If they found birds too, that'd be fun - he could bring feathers back for Callyope.

If they could catch them, of course. Those things could fly and they were very fast! Just thinking about catching them made his chest feel heavy, and he suddenly was yawning.

-- or after naps? Shikoba asked, and --

well, to be truthful... a nap sounded like the best option right now.

Naps first. He nods as he speaks, and another yawn comes out.

"naps then," she says to her little hunter with the press of her tongue against his cheeks, "hunters need sleep." well, perhaps this wasn't always the case as shikoba's insomnia was often a plague to her. though, she had to admit, having mojag beside her did give her a little bit of peace at night. normally inutsuk filled that role.

the woman would stand and stretch before entering the ulaq behind them, settling into the pile of furs that she skinned or were gifted to her. mojag would be free to choose his sleeping place, whether it was against his mother or perhaps a little bit aways.

either way, she was just happy he would come home at night to stay with her. she couldn't imagine losing him too. so when he would draw in, shikoba would smile and tell herself quietly that being a mother isn't so bad, even if it means being by herself.

mojag was always going to be enough to fill her heart.