Altar of Twilight Never had so[M]eone to call my own

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No need to match length. Woo I got a little carried away.

Dark fur, large paws. Tearing up the ground. Red Eyes gleaming, staring into the night. There were thousands of stars above him, each one winking and glinting to caress his fur. Laying heavy on his scars, lighting them up for the world to see. Today he felt them, heard the voices, felt as each one was carved into his body and further into his soul.

The beast was not an emotional one, but on nights like this one, when all was silent, his mind took a journey into the realm of where he used to be and what he used to be and it filled him with something akin to regret and sadness, but he didn't have the words for this, at least he hadn't at the time.

Perhaps, there was hope for him once upon a time. Perhaps just perhaps, he could have been better, but here he was. Scarred. Heavy. Hard. Broken. Some would say.

His mind drifted to @Atka Tsimshian and a heavy feeling built upon his chest. He didn't quite understand what she was doing to him and he both adored and resented her for it. Then his mind went to the other scent @Heph that clung to her, that made his insides tighten and his brain fill with such rage, and then guilt. Because she did not belong to him. And he needed to remember that.

Suddenly he lifted his head back and he howled everything, every single feeling to the sky, it echoed around him and rang back. He didn't even know what it said to anyone, he didn't care.

The altar of twilight. A fitting place for his voice to ring out, as the moon caressed his body. He growled low, thunderous, angry. And growled again. There was a restlessness to his spirit, a itch beneath the surface that he could not and wasn't sure he wanted to rid himself of.

He wanted to tear and maim and rip, or honestly fuck something until he couldn't anymore. Until he fell to the ground, exhausted and spent. Anything, and something to get rid of these feelings that he was both curious for and hated himself for. Feelings got you killed, got you beaten and flayed. Emotions gave you the pit and the creatures that made their home down there.

There bugs that crawled and bit and burrowed in skin, and ears and eyes. The darkness that pressed on all sides, darkness of each and every body and soul down there. The way they took what they wanted from whomever they wanted and it didn't matter their age. They left the puppies broken and bleeding. He had been one. Used so viciously his body still bore the marks, but he had survived hadn't he. He had made it out. But what if that wasn't enough. What if.

Tonight was not a good night for what ifs. And he made his way to the wall that glowed and he stood beneath it. The moon light dipping down to caress and dip along every valley, every curve that made up his body. It touched on scars and blemishes, lit up his eyes with a gentler glow than usual. And he threw his head back to stare at the stars, the one solace he had always had. Anytime, he needed to escape and his father couldn't help him. He just looked up.

Atka had kept her steps slow, trying to prolong what seemed like her final journey with Heph. There were light laughs, conversation, and affection but she couldn't rid herself of that bitter feeling. Although she knew she wanted Dreven and to be with him, letting go of Heph was no easy task. She would forever imagine Heph on her wander throughout Teekon Wilds; picture her on the sands of the ocean. Now, she remained silent, knowing they had passed The Heartwood, dreading their depart.

Atka had frozen in her tracks, ears tilting to the howl that rang nearby, close even. The howl was laced with emotion, not a simple call, she could feel it. She would have brushed it off, the simple feeling of pity eventually fading, but the smell that she processed said otherwise. Dreven was near. Atka was not entirely comfortable with Heph near Dreven. She had feelings for the wolf, and she trusted him with her life... Just not with others. Perhaps Heph would be fine, they were not near any territory Dreven was prompted to defend.

He was close, she didn't know how close though, his howl loud enough to put off her judgement. The meager amount of light from the night sky was not enough to see anyone else. In the midst of her worry, part of her wanted to find him, and to know what was bothering him. She did not want him to experience further pain or troubles, she assumed he'd seen enough of it considering the scars on his body and the distant look in his eyes. Maybe she was reading into it, she didn't think so.

Her infatuation with Dreven caused her to experience a push and pull of emotions, almost feeling beckoned by his howl, wanting to console him, but she also wanted to leave the area, get Heph away. Atka had no idea how an interaction with the two would go, she glanced back at Heph as the howl had stopped. She didn't know what to say, turning around for any words, Heph always had words. Words that made Atka feel good.

Heph enjoyed the jaunt with Atka to the Heartwood. They conversed, were easy each other's company, and let the time pass with simple affection and a joy that only seemed to come in the anticipation of an absence that could sever or reinforce their resolve. While she knew it was a risk she had meant what she said, wolves changed courses and she could not be angry with Atka for finding a heading that suited her best. She would miss Atka but she also did not plan to leave the area quite so quickly, and she would not discount that their paths could cross again. Though if the other wolf stayed ensconced in the Heartwood which was newly claimed she was not sure how much of that would be a possibility.

The call sounded out and though Heph had only heard the voice and the growl once the familiarity of the scent and Atka's reaction and something in the cadence of it allowed her to put it together. It was not so far as to prevent them from going and perhaps a part of her was curious to see this wolf who was quite literally calling them away. She was not afraid of the wolf who called her a shadow, perhaps he was right in the way she followed Atka, but perhaps in other ways he had been wrong. He was formidable but not impossible.

Her gaze turned to Atka slightly and she gave an encouraging smile, a tinge of mischief lighting it. "Well, I'm sure he's impatient to see your beautiful face." Rubbing her head lightly against the other wolf's shoulder she added "If it comes to we can protect each other from the big bad wolf." She did not hurry her pace but she did slightly adjust her direction giving time and room for Atka to make her own decision. If the other wolf had no desire to meet the one who called then Heph had no objections, but she thought a meeting on neutral territory might suit them better than a goodbye at the borders of a potentially hostile pack at any rate.

Dreven shifted and moved from the wall of lights. He curled up nose down, tail around his face. He was just about to drift to sleep, when scents came across the wind. HE lifted his head, and growled again. He knew those scents and as if the gods were laughing at him, or maybe his father, here they were both again.

Itching. Pulling under his skin. He wanted to howl in fury and every thing else. He was unsure what to do with such emotions, but he did know he was tired of fighting it. And suddenly all his energy left.

He lay his head to his paws and shook his head. If they came to him so be it. He would rally and be his usual self, but he was not going to look for them outright. There was unknown emotions in this area, and he was not comfortable with them. Not to mention he was fearful he would attack this Heph on sight and that wasn't entirely fair. Not that he had ever had anything fair happen to him.

Atka dropped her wistful stare at his direction, turning her face back to Heph. She knew he would be upset to find Heph alongside her again, but she would have no complaints explaining things to him again, and reassuring him. To her, it was worth it. However, Atka would revisit it later, knowing she will be seeing plenty of Dreven soon enough.

❝You'd like to stay your distance from him right?❞ Her gaze remained on Heph, she assumed she knew her answer.

Atka wanted to see Dreven, but she also did not want to irritate him further. Atka's mind was also occupied with other things.

❝This isn't goodbye right, you'll come see me again?❞ Atka sighed, seeking Heph's face for any tell on what she was feeling, ❝Or if you stick around for a bit longer, I could venture out to see you.❞

if dreven doesn't meet them in this thread i'll prolly post another of her tracking dreven down afterward LOL

Heph tilted her head, while she doubted the other wolf would be happy to see her she was not quite sure why Atka assumed that she would be unhappy to see him. While it was true the dark-furred giant was not her favorite she bore him no particular ill-will. Did Atka not wish for her to see him? Was there a reason? Her mind darted around for purchase. It could simply be awkwardness, if Atka thought they would fight then she might wish to avoid confict. Perhaps he disliked her more than she previously thought and Atka was looking after her safety, but Heph thought Atka would warn her. Was she afraid that Heph would disapprove or did she want to hide some aspect of their relationship that she thought Heph would comment on? She did not think she had given Atka cause for worry over her judgment, unless there truly was something sinister. But the interaction did not reek of coercion. At any rate it made her curious. Voice somewhat unsure she added, words dipping up and over then under themselves. "Don't worry I'll wait until your other admirer is here before I leave you to his company." She thought she heard him and while she was ready to flee she did not make any move to be defensive. After all if Atka enjoyed his company there was no need to protect the other wolf from him.

She brushed her own shoulder against the other wolf's snowy one and added, more sure, and warmth seeping through the words. "We'll see each other again." Heph knew that she planned to explore more of the surrounding area before she made her way. While she was curious about more territories that spanned further and further into the wilds she was not anxious nor was she on some sort of self-imposed schedule.

Voices grew nearer and with a little bit of irritation he got to his feet, long blunt body tearing up the ground. What met his sight caused him to swallow thickly and close his eyes. The foreign feeling of jealous rose deep and vile and he all but gagged on it's thickness.

He shifted more into view. Schooling his face, no emotions showing. There was a time and a place. He tilted his head. A low growl of a baritone dancing along the air, to settle and sink into their ears. Snow and Shadow. How fitting.

The air was thick with something akin to tension, but he wasn't certain what type. There was no denying both girls were beautiful, both appealed to his nature. One he knew intimately one not so much. Though were he not as filled to the brim with pesky emotions and sudden inhibitions, he would ahve possibly made a pass. Perhaps he still would. One could never tell with Dreven Layre.

He was large and beastly, but they were not on is territory, so he did not show any outward irritation preferring to keep his neutrality there for all to see.

Have you both come to join the forsaken?

Though he didn't particularly like the thought. If Atka had both he and Heph, perhaps between the two of them, they could keep her safer than just him.

Atka jumped at the sound of his voice, she had not heard him approaching, yet her wide eyes softened at the sight of him. Dreven was clearly pissed from Atka's observation, but his questions didn't imply any aggression towards Heph, the heavy feeling in her chest faded. Dreven knew her answer, but her gaze went back to Heph. She had no idea what her response would be, part of her felt like Heph would desire to continue on, but if she chose to stay Atka would have no complaints.

❝You already have my answer Dreven.❞ She responded.

She walked forward to greet the wolf, brushing her cheek against his before turning and sitting down. Atka looked back to the other wolf, afraid to see disappointment on Heph's face.

Heph turned to see the other wolf more clearly. He was handsome, she had noticed that before, whether it was because of or in spite of his scars she could not be sure, but it was noticeable. She could tell that he was forcing his expression and tone if only because the buzz of tension pregnant in the air did not match the even set of his shoulders and casual drift of his voice. What exactly that feigned neutrality concealed was just as unreadable as the electricity that prickled at the end of her fur but just as palpable.

She watched Atka's reaction, the casual physical intimacy, her claim, and heard the surety in her voice. While it was expected she could not help the turn of her head as she watched. Though she was not angry or jealous of the wolf Atka has chosen to stand by she could not help but feel momentarily bereft. Her gaze followed the white wolf, intent, but snapped back to the pair, resting non-confrontationally somewhere around their shoulders. "I'm not sure the forsaken and I have much to offer one another." Her voice carried traces of her old humor, bubbling up around some of the vowels lighthearted. She was not masterfully skilled and liked to wander, she doubted that any pack would be happy to have such a wolf or would offer her what she wanted in turn.

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Holy shit she was touching him just casually. A small imperceptible movement at her brush. He snaked his tongue out to give her an affectionate lick. A purl in his chest before his eyes smoldered back towards the other she wolf draped in shadows with pretty eyes.

Dreven shifted eyeing her. A small hollow braced his chest he fast realized it was guilt. He felt bad for being so jealous when it seemed this she wolf was a sharer like him. He tipped an ear forward.

A low hum in his voice as always drifting towards a sexuality he couldn't quite curb.

That depends on what you think you could offer and what you want in return.

He frowned and looked to Atka again and spoke softly.

I am content here, but Atka is good. Most definitely too good for here. I would feel better if I had someone else on her side. If there is an agreement of sorts we could come too. I'd not have you leave her.

A low note in his voice. It killed him to say it. Left him feeling a bit stricken and absolutely pissed at his own emotions and vulnerability where snow was concerned.

Akta still felt guilt residing in her as she looked at Heph. Her affection towards him was almost an admission that he was the wolf she cut their journey short for, why they would not see the ocean. However, some resilient part within her knew they would together, someday. Heph's response was expected, she knew this wolf was one that longed to see things.

That depends on what you think you could offer and what you want in return.

Atka's ears perked at that, glancing at Dreven from the corner of her eyes. His words almost sounded like an offer. Atka did not want to keep her from what made her happy, this wolf was dear to Atka, but if Heph wished to stay, she would have no complaints. Even if Heph chose to remain nearby for a short time, she would make the most of that.

I am content here, but Atka is good. Most definitely too good for here. I would feel better if I had someone else on her side. If there is an agreement of sorts we could come too. I'd not have you leave her.

Atka caught his gaze as he spoke, her expression blank for a moment. She opened her mouth to retort, wanting to explain she would be fine, but she remained silent, biting her tongue. His concern was geniune, she again felt guilty for wanting to argue that, leaning against him instead. Atka desired for Heph to be happy, not to put her life on hold for Atka's own safety. Curiosity stirred in her, she had a few ideas as to what the wolf's response would be, but she didn't entirely know.

❝I know there are things you wish to see Heph...❞ Atka paused, staring at Heph with a seemingly pensive expression, ❝Do not feel obligated to stay for my safety, but if you chose to do so I won't argue.❞

Atka's words were sincere, emphasizing her do not. She left Dreven's side to press her nose against the top of Heph's head, stretching to reach. She then stepped back to find her gaze again, ears pulling back.

❝If you decide to leave, I will remember you all the same and await your return.❞

Heph's gaze flickered between Atka and the other wolf. She weighed their words, the difficulty and tenor of his that brushed upon his vocal chords like a growl but not quite. And the promise in Atka's, a desire that was similar to hers, borne out of a shared care. Choices, choices that were difficult. But everyone changed, everyone said things and then did others. What wolves could imagine could not possibly compare to the world. She knew that she had not imagined nor come to these lands thinking she would join a pack, much less any pack that would flaunt themselves as forsaken and claim they desired darkness more than light, a distinction Heph cared little for though she freely admitted she took limited pleasure in the night.

But she found herself wanting a chance at what this wolf hinted he might be able to promise her. And she did doubt his ability to match his professed desire to act but at least then that would be his lie and not hers. So she spoke evenly, no desire to sell herself, but clear in her knowledge and capabilities. From her previous pack she had not learned those skills which would help her keep records or touch the hearts of others, more interested in the raw basics of skills which would allow her to wander where she pleased and defend and sustain herself. "I have basic knowledge in hunting, guarding, and navigating." Her voice slid into something still even and sure but tighter the words closing in on themselves. "and would be willing to share some information I happen to come across." Heph had never worked as a spy and had no plans on putting herself in more danger than she was accustomed, not that she feared danger, but she supposed if it was information she was going to come upon already then sharing it was a small price to pay to be able to stay by Atka's side when she was near.

She let those words sink in for a half a heartbeat before she let her eyes briefly catch on the other dark-furred wolf. "But I need freedom, to roam, come and go, abide by the changing world." Her gaze was once again on his shoulder by the time her statement had ended, but her voice held no traces of humor and her shoulders were still as she spoke, serious.

Dreven's gaze went down to Atka only a moment as she spoke her own truths. The jealousy was still there, but it thudded dully and painfully. He would ignore it until it went away. And he supposed he had no room to speak. As he shared his body with others, it was only Atka that briefly saw his soul. And she may share him herself were she to ask of him to give.

Dreven didn't move. There was a stillness to the air now. Words laying inbetween them all, words that couldn't get taken back, nor should they. There were promises of different things, and Dreven wasn't certain entirely what he was promising, but it was there none the less, stuck between the seconds of time, that the silence pervaded.

Dreven was indeed a wolf of the night and simple pleasures. He could give his all to packs and wolves. His body, and his mind were freely given. And yet. He shifted only a moment, ears going forward to listen to another drop more promises.

This wolf had only seen him twice. Once with the pack when his leader and his packmate had fought and now. Both moments, where his better nature was on display. The she wolf in front of him did not have his burdens, or the things on his memory or body carved in soul and flesh. She did not know the things he could and would do, just to keep those he owed his loyalty to safe. She didn't know the way his leader could command him as he pleased and there would be no heaviness on his conscious to do unspeakable things. And he wouldn't say either. That was a truth for her to find in time if she wished to tempt a devil as Atka did.

He stared over her with Red Eyes. And then dipped his head. I am Harbinger of Forsaken, second in command. One of my duties is to go to other packs, diplomatic missions shall we say. And we have allies in the Strath and surrounding areas. I will not limit your freedoms, as long as you bring information we can use, but be warned. I do not know what it will be used for. Malacath's thoughts and visions for the future are his own and he does not share them with me. And you are expected to protect the borders with teeth and claw, no matter who comes knocking. So if you cannot do this, don't go near the borders. Welcome to the Forsaken. Atka and Heph.

<3

Atka turned to look at Dreven as Heph spoke, hopefully for any indication on what he thought. The silence that hung in the air reminded her of The Phantom Hollow as she held Dreven's red gaze, but it was broken.

I am Harbinger of Forsaken, second in command. One of my duties is to go to other packs, diplomatic missions shall we say. And we have allies in the Strath and surrounding areas. I will not limit your freedoms, as long as you bring information we can use, but be warned. I do not know what it will be used for. Malacath's thoughts and visions for the future are his own and he does not share them with me. And you are expected to protect the borders with teeth and claw, no matter who comes knocking. So if you cannot do this, don't go near the borders. Welcome to the Forsaken. Atka and Heph.

Atka closed her eyes, letting out a sigh. She herself wasn't sure if it was out of relief, or something else. Nonetheless, she smiled at Dreven. Her choice to be with him would not mean a goodbye with Heph any longer. Not that she knew what being with him really meant, but they offered each other what they had, and that was enough for her.

She was quiet for a moment. Atka wasn't sad, but she knew she was reentering her previous life in a sense. This pack was not good, but she knew they would become powerful. She had seemingly stepped into her past again. However, her departure was not because of the moral differences, the wolf that she felt obligated to stay for was killed. Atka would have those she felt obligated to stay for, which was more than enough. She would do what this pack asked and keep her head down.

❝Thank you, Dreven.❞ Her brows were furrowed as she thought, but her smile was still present.

Her thanks was sincere, whether or not Heph's welcome was out of the pack interest or not, Atka was grateful.

❝Are the rest of you big and scary?❞ Atka continued with a small laugh.

She tried to lighten the situation, but she knew much more awaited them.

Heph was reckless, but still she was attuned to the words of the wolves in front of her, to what was said and what she wanted. And it was not for her safety or the safety of others that was her concern. If this Malacath wished to rain down destruction and fire and suffering on the surrounding packs and the surrounding wolves she supposed he could do his best. But the words.

I will not limit your freedoms as long as you bring information we can use.

What good was freedom if it was conditional? What use was information when one did not know what it was for? And what promises could, even the second-in-command in the Forsaken, make if he did not know the vision for the future of the pack? No wolves could make promises about the future, to know with certainty exactly what others would do and how they would change, how the world would change and force them along their certain paths.

A part of her was tempted, to take the offer and act as she pleased with the knowledge that even if they wanted to chain her down she would simply slip free and ride along the ever-changing tide if she did not like the terms they offered. Promises were words, not broken bones or blinded eyes and they only slowed one's progress if one let them.

But it would be, in its own way, a lie. And while she had no qualms about lying to the face of Dreven who Atka had named she did not wish at all to lie to Atka, to tell her things which would not be true and might very well prove to be false from the moment of inception and not even true for a moment or a heartbeat that she spoke them in.

She narrowed her eyes. In some ways the words were spoken in good faith, but in another way, somewhere deep in her heart, she felt them like a trap closing over. "Then for now I'll keep my distance, once I have traveled for some time I'll return and we'll see if it's the kind of information you're looking for. No matter how tempting the offer it would be foolish to accept before knowing if it is within my means." Her voice bounced over the words with a lightness that betrayed the seriousness of the undertaking. But she heard and saw Atka's attempt to lighten the mood and had no desire for their little meeting to turn into a bloodbath.

Dreven looked down at Atka with a small smirk on his face, but there was a tightness in his chest, when he nodded his head. Yes. Though, Khasni is not large, but she is not to be trifled with.

Dreven studied the she wolf in front of him. Clearly she was not one to settle down. Well so be it. She had given a murmur of an agreement. Nothing like he had wanted, but it was better than nothing. He'd take it. She could do whatever she pleased to him, about him, for him, he didn't give a shit, but he would not have her betray Atka in some way. That would be a quick way to have her throat torn out, but she didn't seem to have any ill will in mind.

Dreven briefly looked to ATka again and he wondered if she was aware yet, what she held on a tether, what she could have him do, what he would do were she to just ask. Or were someone to hurt her. Heaven or hell help them because he was going for em.

Heph needn't worry, despite the fact that he was not in fact her biggest fan. Atka held her in some sort of esteem and for that, she would not get any trouble from him, unless it involved Atka.

Atka nodded her head at Heph, even though the wolf would not exactly be staying, at least she would be welcome at the borders. There would be no danger if she came to see Atka once more. That was enough for her. She thought over the other wolves she might soon meet, what they may be like.

❝Hm, I guess I'll see them for myself later.❞ Her brow quirked, still smirking back at Dreven.

Dropping Dreven's gaze she looked back to Heph.

❝So I guess this is goodbye for a bit then?❞ Atka's expression was not far from a frown as she finished her sentence

She was silent, hoping Heph would linger around the area before her further travels, but she knew she couldn't hold this wolf back. Heph was a wolf who did not want to be tied down, but Atka knew she did not need to be hurt by that. Her decision to depart was for her own happiness and growth, where as Atka had chosen to stay. Neither wolf harbored any ill will for each other. Perhaps Heph did not need a home, she was content resting her head in a new place each night. Was she comfortable with the only consistency she had being the stars above her head? Things changed, and Heph appeared to understand that well, living by that it seemed.

Her voice was soft but firm, no regret just promise in it."Just for now." Heph replied with a smile and a slight nod towards both wolves before she made her way northward away from the Heartwood and where the pair would presumably head off to. She had no desire to stick around and play nice with Dreven when she could meet Atka alone later and if Atka believed the brute would take care of her then Heph would put her faith in the small white wolf. Later she would see if he had stayed true to Atka's assumptions and his professed intent. Besides she had information to gather, places to go, and things to think on.

She was in no rush to say goodbye to Atka but the prolonged torture of a farewell was painful in its own way so she moved with an easy gait over the land that would take her away from the place she had promised to one day return. Her lips quirked, promises in themselves might weigh a wolf down but she had no intention to accumulate too many of them.

Last post from Heph here ^_^

Last post from Dreven also.

Dreven did not wish her ill will. She was welcome back. He wasn't even certain if he had a pack anymore. If he did not, he would simply find a place to settle with Atka elsewhere and bring Heph along too apparently.

Dreven watched her go with lidded eyes. He only briefly lay his head atop Atka, knowing she would miss the darker wolf. He didn't care one way or the other, but Atka did.

Perhaps Heph could change his mind about her someday.

last from me :)

Atka offered a smile as well. A bittersweet feeling settled over her as she watched Heph turn, and once more, continue her journey. Atka was happy she could at least be a small part of that, even if it wasn't for long. She knew she would see her again. As Dreven settled his head on her she closed her eyes, drawing in a sigh.

After a moment of enjoying his touch, Atka pulled away from his embrace to look at him. Her eyes trailed over each feature, scar, and finally rested on his crimson gaze.

❝Let's go then?❞ She said, smiling again, still staring up at him.

As they went on their way, she was fairly silent. The silence was comfortable, Atka did not need to fill the air with her rambling to enjoy his presence.