Deepwood Weald Realized I can't not be with you

His stomach twists painfully as he studies Midar's expression, and he tenses slightly when his lover begins to close the distance between them. Some lingering remnant of his original fear of the man resurfaces for a moment, and briefly he recalls their first meeting. It wasn't all that long ago, yet somehow it feels as if a lifetime has passed. He sucks in a sharp breath as Midar comes close, only able to release it when he takes a step back, and his gaze drops as another surge of guilt overwhelms him. Before he can say anything, though, the other is speaking, and his gaze returns to him.
His heart feels trapped in a vice as he listens to his lover's words, and it takes him several moments to choke out a response. I... I want to be with you, Midar, He says, voice slightly tremulous. I just — I don't want it to be a mistake. How can you be sure that you won't — get tired of me, or figure out that you actually hate me? Or — what if you find someone you like better? Once the insecurities start to pour from him, he finds himself struggling to make them stop, eyes averting again in shame. He can't help but think that perhaps this itself will make Midar realize how much better he can do; it would be rather cruel irony.